How would you react if your college DD scolded you publicly because you asked her to hang out one night?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is spoiled and rude.

+1000. My mum would have slapped me across the face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you paying for her trips to hang out with her boyfriend? That part is mysterious to me. I think I need to know what the sarcastic comment you said to her was. She may be feeling pretty stressed at this point in this semester, and just like when they were toddlers, we parents are always the safe space For venting negative feelings. And the moment I would have said she hurt my feelings, but I appreciated that she was spending this time with me. I would tell her that it means a lot to me, more than she can now unless one day she becomes a parent herself.

She is probably in that stage of a relationship where it’s intolerable to be apart, and if they are having sex, then that’s an added reason why time with her boyfriend is so compelling. I’m sure it’s painful that she is pulling away and making her own life, but this is what we are all supposed to want for our kids, right? It does sound like you spoil her, and I’m not sure I would pay for her flights to other places. Or I would make them presents.

We were watching a streaming movie together on two laptops that were synced. But the wi-fi was terrible on the train so my laptop started being like 5 or so seconds ahead, she was irritated and demanded I stop and let the laptops re-sync so we were watching at the exact same time. I thought she was kidding and made a little joke. She was not kidding and that's when she snapped.

Apologize and move forward in life. You have to deescalate not escalate if you want to keep a relationship healthy.

[Anonymous]

"scolded you publicly" not nearly. You think you can buy her love and respect but that doesn't work. Now you are self conscious and waiting to get your feelings hurt

[Anonymous]

Before casting judgment I would want to know what sarcastic remark you made. It sounds like you really got under her skin, and she got angry. What she said was definitely rude, but perhaps what you said was rude too.

I guess it really hurt you that she wants to spend Thanksgiving with the boyfriend's family. Maybe explain that you didn't mean the sarcastic remark, you will really miss her on Thanksgiving, and that perhaps you could reach a compromise where she or they spend the next Thanksgiving with you guys.

[Anonymous]

Put her in her place. Show her who is the Boss. <Cesar Millan youtube useful> When all else fail, disinherit her. Seriously OP, that is one hell of an ungrateful disrespectful move she did, and it does appear this is not a one of.

[Anonymous]

This seems like a complete overreaction on your part.

[Anonymous]

Soiling the nest happens before they LEAVE the nest, not after. You raised a spoiled brat. You indulged too much, so this is what you get. If my kid said that I'd immediately get them psychological testing because they'd be certifiably crazy to be so obnoxious. But I didn't raise my kids to be spoiled brats - I raised them to appreciate what they had, to know the difference between wants and needs and work for their own wants for the most part. You get out what you put in.

[Anonymous]

Since OP will not tell us what her “sarcastic” comment was, I’m assuming it was snarky and OP started this.

[Anonymous]

^^And, how long was this train ride that you had time to watch a movie??

[Anonymous]

She’s been shacking up with her boyfriend every night.

[Anonymous]

I would by have spent a second thinking about her comment. I would have called her rude and moved on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is spoiled and rude.

This. Only on lalaland DCUM is this even a debate. You raised an unappreciative spoiled brat who walks all over you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this just typical 'soiling the nest' talk you'd let it slide or would this really hurt you?

Flew across the country to DD's college to see her last sporting event of the season. Asked her in advance to spend Friday night through Saturday morning with me for dinner and to visit elderly family member (my uncle) via train. Things were going well, then after a slightly sarcastic comment, DD snapped, "You're lucky I'm here. I'm a college student. I'm giving up my Friday night to do this with you."

If it's relevant, we pay for her room, board, tuition, all of her bills, car when home, all of her flights including a flight to spend with her boyfriend over Thanksgiving break instead of your family, which she told me about a few hours the above scolding. She's a very strong student-athlete, had a summer internship last summer and already has one for summer 2026.

Not sure how the last sentence is relevant. Is she somehow excused from entitled behavior because she has good grades and an internship?

I figured readers would wonder if she works and has any money of her own. She works in the summers and has some money of her own but certainly not enough to sustain her lifestyle.

So you're sustaining her lifestyle. She sounds like a brat. Stop propping her up. She's an adult.

[Anonymous]

Of course she wanted the movies to be synchronized.

What she said was rude.

I don’t understand for one second paying for your college kid to go home to someone else’s family for thanksgiving, but that seems unrelated to a rude comment she made a few weeks ago.

[Anonymous]

You guys are all so self-important and desperate to hold onto whatever control you exert. The kid had no desire to visit her great uncle. Let me restate:

Option 1: Visit great uncle on a Friday night after her last game of the season.

Option 2: Literally anything else.

I’m with your kid on this one and let it go. And as for all of the “you raised a spoiled brat” commenters, you guys are going to be really lonely when your youngest goes to school and you realize that they’re perfectly fine without you.