How would you react if your college DD scolded you publicly because you asked her to hang out one night?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is spoiled and rude.

+1000. My mum would have slapped me across the face.

Well that would be bizarre and abusive

[Anonymous]

What is up with all these moms indulging their daughters and boyfriends lately? I would never pay for my daughter to have thanksgiving in college at his house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Soiling the nest happens before they LEAVE the nest, not after. You raised a spoiled brat. You indulged too much, so this is what you get. If my kid said that I'd immediately get them psychological testing because they'd be certifiably crazy to be so obnoxious. But I didn't raise my kids to be spoiled brats - I raised them to appreciate what they had, to know the difference between wants and needs and work for their own wants for the most part. You get out what you put in.

Get off your high horse and stop being so cruel and obnoxious. No one cares about your kids

Ooh, so defensive. You should examine why that is. And don’t bother saying “I’m not OP!” The point still stands.

DP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this just typical 'soiling the nest' talk you'd let it slide or would this really hurt you?

Flew across the country to DD's college to see her last sporting event of the season. Asked her in advance to spend Friday night through Saturday morning with me for dinner and to visit elderly family member (my uncle) via train. Things were going well, then after a slightly sarcastic comment, DD snapped, "You're lucky I'm here. I'm a college student. I'm giving up my Friday night to do this with you."

If it's relevant, we pay for her room, board, tuition, all of her bills, car when home, all of her flights including a flight to spend with her boyfriend over Thanksgiving break instead of your family, which she told me about a few hours the above scolding. She's a very strong student-athlete, had a summer internship last summer and already has one for summer 2026.

I would snap back with, “You’re lucky I paid for your flight to see [boyfriend]. I could take it back if I wanted to.”

So you’d be more childish than the teenager. Got it. Weird brag, though. 🤷‍♀️

[Anonymous]

I would be disappointed. My DD would never speak to me like that, because she is smart enough to know where the $$$ comes from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is up with all these moms indulging their daughters and boyfriends lately? I would never pay for my daughter to have thanksgiving in college at his house.

My theory is this forum is full of IVF moms who are visibly old as hell when their kid(s) are college aged and thus deeply insecure. They want to be seen as a carefree cool mom and not the kid’s grandma. And also, childless incel and feminist trolls who just want to stir the pot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is up with all these moms indulging their daughters and boyfriends lately? I would never pay for my daughter to have thanksgiving in college at his house.

My theory is this forum is full of IVF moms who are visibly old as hell when their kid(s) are college aged and thus deeply insecure. They want to be seen as a carefree cool mom and not the kid’s grandma. And also, childless incel and feminist trolls who just want to stir the pot.

Wow you crazy

[Anonymous]

There's no way that this incident was OP's first narcissist outburst.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well she was rude. But context matters - was this kind of being sassy and failing to communicate well? I’d be the adult I think , not throw a fit but call out an unnecessary tone. And then move right on.

It came out of nowhere after I sarcastic remark I made. It was really over the top and unwarranted. It just made me feel worthless. Obviously she desired to be with her boyfriend instead of me and an elderly relative; a boy she sees every day of the week. And now she won't be coming home for Thanksgiving and presumably will only be home partially, if at all, during winter break. And she takes a trip during winter break with the boyfriend's friends or family, who do you think will pay for it? Us.

One single night with her and we're made to feel worthless. It stings.

Oh my god stop paying for all of this! You aren't asking for that much in terms of family time and she talks to you like that? No ma'am.

[Anonymous]

She was rude, though you were rude to make a sarcastic remark. There is something about the way OP had been writing that makes me think she uses a lot of guilt and manipulation in her relationship with her daughter

[Anonymous]

I would talk to her the next time you see her and try to figure out what has gone wrong. Are you all really strict, too strict for someone who is 18+? Is she just spoiled?

I would also rethink paying for her travel that doesn't involve school. Stop paying for her recreational trips; sure, she can go if she earns or saves the money to go. Or her boyfriend can pay for her. Tell her why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her she’s not being nice and remind her that it’s not always all about her. I’ve said that to my college-aged kid at times. They need to know their place, especially when they’re being given so much.

This. And then let it be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her she’s not being nice and remind her that it’s not always all about her. I’ve said that to my college-aged kid at times. They need to know their place, especially when they’re being given so much.

This. And then let it be.

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is spoiled and rude.

+1000. My mum would have slapped me across the face.

Well that would be bizarre and abusive

If my mother laid hands on me above the age of 15 I would have sent her to the hospital.

[Anonymous]

You need to own your own sarcasm and apologize for that. And you also need to let her know that her attitude back wasn’t appropriate. If you completely let it slide, you’re enabling her to continue to treat you disrespectfully.