How would you react if your college DD scolded you publicly because you asked her to hang out one night?

[Anonymous]

Is this just typical 'soiling the nest' talk you'd let it slide or would this really hurt you?

Flew across the country to DD's college to see her last sporting event of the season. Asked her in advance to spend Friday night through Saturday morning with me for dinner and to visit elderly family member (my uncle) via train. Things were going well, then after a slightly sarcastic comment, DD snapped, "You're lucky I'm here. I'm a college student. I'm giving up my Friday night to do this with you."

If it's relevant, we pay for her room, board, tuition, all of her bills, car when home, all of her flights including a flight to spend with her boyfriend over Thanksgiving break instead of your family, which she told me about a few hours the above scolding. She's a very strong student-athlete, had a summer internship last summer and already has one for summer 2026.

[Anonymous]

I'd let it slide. But I were feeling particularly scornful, I'd cancel her flight to see her boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

It would really hurt me, but I would let it go (maybe after a while). Family is family.

[Anonymous]

I would simply forget about it.

Family relationships go a whole lot more smoothly when we cut people some slack for expressing annoyance, especially when they are super busy and probably stressed.

[Anonymous]

Well she was rude. But context matters - was this kind of being sassy and failing to communicate well? I’d be the adult I think , not throw a fit but call out an unnecessary tone. And then move right on.

[Anonymous]

I’d say something.
Along the lines that it was hurtful. She should know.

[Anonymous]

I'd say, "Ouch." And then I'd shut down for a bit.

[Anonymous]

She is spoiled and rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this just typical 'soiling the nest' talk you'd let it slide or would this really hurt you?

Flew across the country to DD's college to see her last sporting event of the season. Asked her in advance to spend Friday night through Saturday morning with me for dinner and to visit elderly family member (my uncle) via train. Things were going well, then after a slightly sarcastic comment, DD snapped, "You're lucky I'm here. I'm a college student. I'm giving up my Friday night to do this with you."

If it's relevant, we pay for her room, board, tuition, all of her bills, car when home, all of her flights including a flight to spend with her boyfriend over Thanksgiving break instead of your family, which she told me about a few hours the above scolding. She's a very strong student-athlete, had a summer internship last summer and already has one for summer 2026.

Not sure how the last sentence is relevant. Is she somehow excused from entitled behavior because she has good grades and an internship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is spoiled and rude.

And soiling the nest happens in 12th grade, not nice they’re gone!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well she was rude. But context matters - was this kind of being sassy and failing to communicate well? I’d be the adult I think , not throw a fit but call out an unnecessary tone. And then move right on.

It came out of nowhere after I sarcastic remark I made. It was really over the top and unwarranted. It just made me feel worthless. Obviously she desired to be with her boyfriend instead of me and an elderly relative; a boy she sees every day of the week. And now she won't be coming home for Thanksgiving and presumably will only be home partially, if at all, during winter break. And she takes a trip during winter break with the boyfriend's friends or family, who do you think will pay for it? Us.

One single night with her and we're made to feel worthless. It stings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is spoiled and rude.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this just typical 'soiling the nest' talk you'd let it slide or would this really hurt you?

Flew across the country to DD's college to see her last sporting event of the season. Asked her in advance to spend Friday night through Saturday morning with me for dinner and to visit elderly family member (my uncle) via train. Things were going well, then after a slightly sarcastic comment, DD snapped, "You're lucky I'm here. I'm a college student. I'm giving up my Friday night to do this with you."

If it's relevant, we pay for her room, board, tuition, all of her bills, car when home, all of her flights including a flight to spend with her boyfriend over Thanksgiving break instead of your family, which she told me about a few hours the above scolding. She's a very strong student-athlete, had a summer internship last summer and already has one for summer 2026.

Not sure how the last sentence is relevant. Is she somehow excused from entitled behavior because she has good grades and an internship?

I figured readers would wonder if she works and has any money of her own. She works in the summers and has some money of her own but certainly not enough to sustain her lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

She’s disrespectful to her parents.
No more privileges or extras.
No more flights to see boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well she was rude. But context matters - was this kind of being sassy and failing to communicate well? I’d be the adult I think , not throw a fit but call out an unnecessary tone. And then move right on.

It came out of nowhere after I sarcastic remark I made. It was really over the top and unwarranted. It just made me feel worthless. Obviously she desired to be with her boyfriend instead of me and an elderly relative; a boy she sees every day of the week. And now she won't be coming home for Thanksgiving and presumably will only be home partially, if at all, during winter break. And she takes a trip during winter break with the boyfriend's friends or family, who do you think will pay for it? Us.

One single night with her and we're made to feel worthless. It stings.

Is she your only child?