"Because I Have To Visit My Father"

[Anonymous]

Why not go together? Then you can do the chores together ahead of time, enjoy the drive together, stop so where fun, etc.

[Anonymous]

The way you put this title in quotes tells me a lot about you. The space of life is not forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The pickiness over Instacart and cleaners is ridiculous and y'all need to get over that. You seriously don't want him to visit his father, who may pass soon, because you don't want less-than-perfect apples?

He has to do half of the chores before he goes to see dad. If his solution is Instacart, let him do Instacart. This isn't that difficult.

Yeah this. There are solutions in front of you. Hire some stuff out.

If his father is in assisted living, he's likely not going to live too much longer. Your spouse is not going to regret any of those visits.

Agree he should absolutely take the kids sometimes and maybe most of the time.

Not necessarily. My parent is going on their 7th year in asl and went in when they were 88.

[Anonymous]

Have him take the kids with him once per month. He also has time to do some errands/housework before he leaves or when he gets home. And you can do some extra to support him during this "sandwich" time of life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, you're a pretty awful human being.

Oh gmafb. If they both work and one parent leaves every single Sunday and they have two kids under 8 it's too much. The choices are not "stop visiting Dad" or "OP does everything". They need to find a compromise. Do all of you make unilateral decisions in your marriage and just hoist work on your partner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have him take the kids with him once per month. He also has time to do some errands/housework before he leaves or when he gets home. And you can do some extra to support him during this "sandwich" time of life.

He should take the kids, not necessarily to help OP though. He should take the kids because it’s good for grandkids and grandpa to see each other.

Some of you are very transactional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you're a pretty awful human being.

Oh gmafb. If they both work and one parent leaves every single Sunday and they have two kids under 8 it's too much. The choices are not "stop visiting Dad" or "OP does everything". They need to find a compromise. Do all of you make unilateral decisions in your marriage and just hoist work on your partner?

It’s 12 hours every month. Some of you must be awful spouses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would support my husband doing this, but then he'd also support me doing something for myself on the alternate weekends. He'd also potentially take the kid(s) sometimes. And/or do some of the Sunday prep on Saturday.

+1. My husband and I have each had a parent who passed so yes we did this for each other and it took far more time than 6-7 hours every other week.

On these boards I read lots of posts about men not being caregivers. But it strikes me that some women want to stomp it out of them if it’s the least bit inconvenient to them. Personally I like being married to a man who feels responsibility to routinely check in on his aging parents with whom he has a good relationship.

Thank you! And OP whining about being a "single parent" because there are 14 hours a month when she's solely responsible for her own children is pretty insulting for those of us who are actual single parents.

Why are you insulted? Doesn't single parenting suck compared to co parenting? Everyone would prefer to do 50% less domestic chores if they could. That's the point. Lose the chip on your shoulder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you're a pretty awful human being.

Oh gmafb. If they both work and one parent leaves every single Sunday and they have two kids under 8 it's too much. The choices are not "stop visiting Dad" or "OP does everything". They need to find a compromise. Do all of you make unilateral decisions in your marriage and just hoist work on your partner?

+1

It's every freaking Sunday. For the entire day. And you know they arrive home just spent. That drive alone is soul sucking.

OP should just start taking every Saturday off and see how they like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you're a pretty awful human being.

Oh gmafb. If they both work and one parent leaves every single Sunday and they have two kids under 8 it's too much. The choices are not "stop visiting Dad" or "OP does everything". They need to find a compromise. Do all of you make unilateral decisions in your marriage and just hoist work on your partner?

It’s 12 hours every month. Some of you must be awful spouses.

Back to elementary school math for you. It's 48 hours a month. It's basically a second job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you're a pretty awful human being.

Oh gmafb. If they both work and one parent leaves every single Sunday and they have two kids under 8 it's too much. The choices are not "stop visiting Dad" or "OP does everything". They need to find a compromise. Do all of you make unilateral decisions in your marriage and just hoist work on your partner?

+1

It's every freaking Sunday. For the entire day. And you know they arrive home just spent. That drive alone is soul sucking.

OP should just start taking every Saturday off and see how they like it.

What are you talking about. DH goes every other week. Some of really like to complain. Poor you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you're a pretty awful human being.

Oh gmafb. If they both work and one parent leaves every single Sunday and they have two kids under 8 it's too much. The choices are not "stop visiting Dad" or "OP does everything". They need to find a compromise. Do all of you make unilateral decisions in your marriage and just hoist work on your partner?

It’s 12 hours every month. Some of you must be awful spouses.

Back to elementary school math for you. It's 48 hours a month. It's basically a second job.

Back to reading comprehension for you. OP said every other week. You’ll now need to some other reason to complain. But “second job” isn’t it.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he should be taking the kids to visit his father as well.

[Anonymous]

If I lived in Bethesda and my Dad in Richmond, the trip wouldn't be 9-4. He's barely getting an hour/just the lunch with his Dad. I'd be leaving at 6 am and returning after dinner and I'm the wife/mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I lived in Bethesda and my Dad in Richmond, the trip wouldn't be 9-4. He's barely getting an hour/just the lunch with his Dad. I'd be leaving at 6 am and returning after dinner and I'm the wife/mom.

So you are saying this is a troll post?