"Because I Have To Visit My Father"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

It's my wife visiting her dad. And yes it is every Sunday. I meant it has been every other Sunday we have had since May.

I know it is the stage of life because I see it all round us with our friends. My parents died when I was young (mother at 14, father at 25) so this sin't something my wife has had to accomodate, or ever will.

Honestly, just the recognition that I'm rowing the boat for her while she deals with her dad is all I'm looking for.

Agree on the recognition is needed.

Also see lots of “guilt” with some peoples check the box visits. Is it quality time? Or is it something else?

Don’t care about the genders. Life is busy and most need to pay it forward.

6am until noon nap time makes most sense

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the season of life you are in. Yes, it sucks, but do you think it would be better if your spouse never visited their father? Is that what you want to model for your children?

Np sorry but there has to be a compromise. Op's spouse's responsibility is first to op and their kids.

Maybe could cut back on visits. Do more zoom calling

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

It's my wife visiting her dad. And yes it is every Sunday. I meant it has been every other Sunday we have had since May.

I know it is the stage of life because I see it all round us with our friends. My parents died when I was young (mother at 14, father at 25) so this sin't something my wife has had to accomodate, or ever will.

Honestly, just the recognition that I'm rowing the boat for her while she deals with her dad is all I'm looking for.

Boo effing hoo

Ditto

Also, nobody uses “every other Sunday” to mean every Sunday. So, are you just upping the ante to get more sympathy?
Or do you just communicate worse than a 5th grader?

Reported for sock puppeting. You will likely be IP banned.

lol you wrong!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Provng once again that women are spoiled brats all through their life.

OP is a man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Provng once again that women are spoiled brats all through their life.

It makes me laugh that someone posted this and the OP is actually a man.

Was that confirmed? Could be a lesbian couple...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband works one day every weekend. It is what is it is. Give him the list of things you want done and let him figure out when to do them.

Agreed!
I’m an ER doc and work every Friday evening from 4pm-1am. DH doesn’t call himself a quasi-single parent because of it. C’mon, OP. Do better.

You're not a DR

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the season of life you are in. Yes, it sucks, but do you think it would be better if your spouse never visited their father? Is that what you want to model for your children?

Np sorry but there has to be a compromise. Op's spouse's responsibility is first to op and their kids.

Maybe could cut back on visits. Do more zoom calling

And that responsibility is being fulfilled in a sensible way. OP's spouse is not asking OP to drive her to meet her dad, she is handling everything so that OP's spouse only has to deal with the kids, not the FIL.

Is OP disabled or mentally incapacitated that he cannot take care of his kids, or is he bean counting?

[Anonymous]

He can visit twice a month. Get a housekeeper and grocery delivery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the season of life you are in. Yes, it sucks, but do you think it would be better if your spouse never visited their father? Is that what you want to model for your children?

Np sorry but there has to be a compromise. Op's spouse's responsibility is first to op and their kids.

Maybe could cut back on visits. Do more zoom calling

And that responsibility is being fulfilled in a sensible way. OP's spouse is not asking OP to drive her to meet her dad, she is handling everything so that OP's spouse only has to deal with the kids, not the FIL.

Is OP disabled or mentally incapacitated that he cannot take care of his kids, or is he bean counting?

He’s just pissed He can’t check out and watch NFL all day Sunday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would support my husband doing this, but then he'd also support me doing something for myself on the alternate weekends. He'd also potentially take the kid(s) sometimes. And/or do some of the Sunday prep on Saturday.

+1. My husband and I have each had a parent who passed so yes we did this for each other and it took far more time than 6-7 hours every other week.

On these boards I read lots of posts about men not being caregivers. But it strikes me that some women want to stomp it out of them if it’s the least bit inconvenient to them. Personally I like being married to a man who feels responsibility to routinely check in on his aging parents with whom he has a good relationship.

Thank you! And OP whining about being a "single parent" because there are 14 hours a month when she's solely responsible for her own children is pretty insulting for those of us who are actual single parents.

Why are you insulted? Doesn't single parenting suck compared to co parenting? Everyone would prefer to do 50% less domestic chores if they could. That's the point. Lose the chip on your shoulder.

OP isn’t complaining about 50% of household chores. She’s complaining about 50% of the household chores done on just 2 out of every 28 days.

She’s acting like Instacart isn’t an option because she likes to pick her own produce. She could buy everything else through Instacart and just pick up produce once every two weeks. Her house could just be dirtier half the time. She could hire cleaners to come every other weekend while she’s home so they’re not alone in her house. She could send out the laundry. She has options, but the only one she likes is her dh visiting FIL less.

You should read threads before you open your fat face and spout nonsense. You would look like less of a moron hat way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the season of life you are in.

What's your name? Who's your daddy? Is he rich like me? Has he taken any time to show you what you need to live?

[Anonymous]

People I know who lost their parents when they were young never seem to understand the bond many of us have with our parents, especially as they age. Does OP’s wife have siblings that live close enough to visit or is OP her dad’s only family? OP’s wife could definitely take the kids on some of the visits.

As others have mentioned, there are plenty families where one spouse works on the weekend or travels and the other spouse has to deal with kids, pets, and the home.

Outsource what you can and do your best with the other stuff.

[Anonymous]

Move out. Remind her that you in in a partnership, not a dictatorship. No way I'm taking sh*t for holding the fort down while the wife visits her dad.

I mean, do you even know that is what she is doing? Is she sluttty? Could there be another dude?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the season of life you are in. Yes, it sucks, but do you think it would be better if your spouse never visited their father? Is that what you want to model for your children?

Np sorry but there has to be a compromise. Op's spouse's responsibility is first to op and their kids.

Maybe could cut back on visits. Do more zoom calling

And that responsibility is being fulfilled in a sensible way. OP's spouse is not asking OP to drive her to meet her dad, she is handling everything so that OP's spouse only has to deal with the kids, not the FIL.

Is OP disabled or mentally incapacitated that he cannot take care of his kids, or is he bean counting?

Some men need a cookie and a gold star for simply doing their job.

[Anonymous]

How many other family members are around and available to be with your FIL? Is your wife alternating visits with others or is she the only child/only nearby family member?