Do you think it's okay to criticize the behavior of a kid who is not yours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s alarming how many people here will side with bullying a kid. However, it proves that insecurities like this child’s are hard to overcome! Be better, everyone!

No one is bullying a kid FFS. She was talking to another adult and the kid in question will never know about it.

You're fine with getting called an ***hole by other people if you never get to know about it?

Yeah, I don't think you are, hypocrite.

Why would I care? I would prefer that someone call me that to my face if I'm being an a**hole but I couldn't care less.

+1, I'm sure people have called me names behind my back before and I don't really have an issue with it. What other people think of me is none of my business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't worry about these people on their high horses. Some kids are little shits. If people told them to their faces they'd probably get better.

Do people really NOT tell kids like this that they are being little shits? I cannot imagine behaving like that in elementary school and not being clearly told by my parents, my older siblings, teachers, and other relatives, that I was being a little shit and needed to cut it out.

+ million.

Perhaps we should normalize this and then we wouldn't have so many a-holes around.

[Anonymous]

OP you violated an unwritten rule between parents. You can call your own kid an ***hole. But you can't call someone else's kid an ***hole. It doesn't matter that they don't know each other.

Who wants to hear this, anyway? All of our kids will be ***holes one day. Your friend sounds kind and patient.

[Anonymous]

I would absolutely say this to my DH and my best friend about a kid we know, but no one else. You are not close enough to her to be frank.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you violated an unwritten rule between parents. You can call your own kid an ***hole. But you can't call someone else's kid an ***hole. It doesn't matter that they don't know each other.

Who wants to hear this, anyway? All of our kids will be ***holes one day. Your friend sounds kind and patient.

Oh please. No such rule ever existed. Clearly, so many of you think your kids can do no wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would guess that your friend is friendly with that mom?
There is a kid who is a bit obnoxious and his mom is standoff ish and I hear parents complaining about that kid constantly. But another kid who is even worse gets off with "spirited" because his mom is popular. People will say "Dave and Mary are the most amazing people. It's a shame their kids are so rude." As if the parents had nothing to do with it.

OP here and no, my friend doesn't have kids at this school and has never met these people. She just objects to me calling this kid an ***hole.

Yes, most people would object. Stop that. It makes YOU the horrible person in the story, OP because as an adult, you should know better.

OP here. I truly am not being intentionally dense here, but: what is horrible about it?

It's not like I'm calling this kid an ***hole to her face. I've seen her do things I think are just egregious. A recent example was watching her loudly make fun of kids who need after-school tutoring for reading at a school even where those kids could definitely hear her. I said nothing. But in my head, I thought "wow, what an ***hole" because, well, what an ***hole. And I still don't get what is wrong with thinking that or even expressing it to a friend in confidence.

You're fine. The audience here is just a lot of pearl-clutching hypocrites.

+1, some people are just a-holes. I am a teacher and you can see it starting very young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's okay to criticize the behavior of a kid who is not yours.

No, it's not okay to refer t a kid as an a-hole to other people.

Agree with this. It's gross to call a 4th grader a curse word. You crossed a line there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you violated an unwritten rule between parents. You can call your own kid an ***hole. But you can't call someone else's kid an ***hole. It doesn't matter that they don't know each other.

Who wants to hear this, anyway? All of our kids will be ***holes one day. Your friend sounds kind and patient.

But my kid is not an ***hole. This other kid is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's okay to criticize the behavior of a kid who is not yours.

No, it's not okay to refer t a kid as an a-hole to other people.

Agree with this. It's gross to call a 4th grader a curse word. You crossed a line there.

Why?

[Anonymous]

She’s the insufferable one here. Plus the obnoxious kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s alarming how many people here will side with bullying a kid. However, it proves that insecurities like this child’s are hard to overcome! Be better, everyone!

No one is bullying a kid FFS. She was talking to another adult and the kid in question will never know about it.

You're fine with getting called an ***hole by other people if you never get to know about it?

Yeah, I don't think you are, hypocrite.

Why would I care? I would prefer that someone call me that to my face if I'm being an a**hole but I couldn't care less.

+1, I'm sure people have called me names behind my back before and I don't really have an issue with it. What other people think of me is none of my business.

Lies. You do care. You would not want any parent calling your kid an ***hole, even if none of you knew about it. Stop trolling on DCUM. I bet you made up this thread solely to argue about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you violated an unwritten rule between parents. You can call your own kid an ***hole. But you can't call someone else's kid an ***hole. It doesn't matter that they don't know each other.

Who wants to hear this, anyway? All of our kids will be ***holes one day. Your friend sounds kind and patient.

But my kid is not an ***hole. This other kid is.

So, your DD is a little sl*t?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s alarming how many people here will side with bullying a kid. However, it proves that insecurities like this child’s are hard to overcome! Be better, everyone!

No one is bullying a kid FFS. She was talking to another adult and the kid in question will never know about it.

You're fine with getting called an ***hole by other people if you never get to know about it?

Yeah, I don't think you are, hypocrite.

Why would I care? I would prefer that someone call me that to my face if I'm being an a**hole but I couldn't care less.

+1, I'm sure people have called me names behind my back before and I don't really have an issue with it. What other people think of me is none of my business.

Lies. You do care. You would not want any parent calling your kid an ***hole, even if none of you knew about it. Stop trolling on DCUM. I bet you made up this thread solely to argue about this.

DP, why in the world would I care (or how would it even be possible) about something that I don't know about??

I've been called an a-hole to my face before and sometimes it was well deserved. Perhaps develop some self reflection skills for you and your child and you will see that it's often well deserved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s alarming how many people here will side with bullying a kid. However, it proves that insecurities like this child’s are hard to overcome! Be better, everyone!

No one is bullying a kid FFS. She was talking to another adult and the kid in question will never know about it.

You're fine with getting called an ***hole by other people if you never get to know about it?

Yeah, I don't think you are, hypocrite.

Why would I care? I would prefer that someone call me that to my face if I'm being an a**hole but I couldn't care less.

+1, I'm sure people have called me names behind my back before and I don't really have an issue with it. What other people think of me is none of my business.

Lies. You do care. You would not want any parent calling your kid an ***hole, even if none of you knew about it. Stop trolling on DCUM. I bet you made up this thread solely to argue about this.

First of all, sometimes my kid *is* being an ***hole. And while it doesn't bring me pleasure to think that others might be thinking that or saying it out loud behind my back, it doesn't make me upset with them. In those instances, I am focused on correcting my child's problematic behavior.

It's crazy to me that people seem to think the worst possible thing that can happen here is that someone calls your kid a mean name in a private conversation you never hear about.

Obviously the bigger issue is that your kid behaves in a way that makes people (even just in their heads) think "wow, what an ***hole."

Fix the behavior, and what people think about your kid won't matter so much to you anymore. You're feeling defensive because you know your kid sometimes acts like this and you'd rather try to stop other people from observing and commenting on it than do the hard work of parenting to address it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you violated an unwritten rule between parents. You can call your own kid an ***hole. But you can't call someone else's kid an ***hole. It doesn't matter that they don't know each other.

Who wants to hear this, anyway? All of our kids will be ***holes one day. Your friend sounds kind and patient.

Oh please. No such rule ever existed. Clearly, so many of you think your kids can do no wrong.

I'm the PP you quoted. I'm a bad-ass ex-teacher not afraid to talk to kids when they do wrong. I just don't whine about them behind their parents' backs. Life is too short for that. The DMV is full of adults who would rather judge than roll up their sleeves. How about you?