Yeah, but that isn't why they don't like OP's kid. They probably know he isn't gay; they are just using it to harangue him. And it is getting to him, so it's working. |
FFS. What on earth is wrong with you people. This PP would get their a$$ beat where I grew up with this "I know you are, but what am I?" bs. |
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Go to the gym, get swole, step up.
Or ignore it |
| If there are any girls who can stick up for him and make the bullies feel bad about themselves, that might help, particularly popular girls. Maybe find the ones who like Taylor Swift (you need to calm down). |
| This will sound entitled, but no way my child returns to that environment next year. Why continue to subject your child to this treatment? Too many children commit suicide because of bullying. Document the incidents and the notifications to the school. Sounds like you’ve attempted to work with the school and they’re not responsive. Protect your child and their mental health and wellbeing at all cost! |
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Original Poster here — looking for some advice.
My son is feeling self-conscious about his voice. We recently went on a cruise, and a stranger came up to him out of nowhere and bluntly asked, “Are you gay?” It really shook him. Now he’s questioning himself and wondering if he somehow fits a stereotype that others are picking up on. He keeps saying, “It can’t be the whole world that’s wrong.” I want to support him but also help him understand that people can be quick to make assumptions, and that doesn’t define who he is. Has anyone else dealt with something like this — either personally or with their kids? |
Why OP, what did the school do and how did it affect your kid? |
Teach him to ignore it, and teach him how to throw and properly land a punch. If you want to go above and beyond, try to teach him to have compassion for the poorly-raised idiots behaving this way, but that's not a requirement. You can tell the school administrators, but having someone else call out your bully only tends to result in more bullying because they were able to get a rise out of you, and the consequences are typically minor. If you're going to address the behavior, a punch is better than a comeback. Beat a bully back and they stop. |
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I'm sorry, OP. That's got to be hard for both him and you.
Kids have teased my now 15-year-old about being gay, bi,, trans and everything in between for years. It has mostly faded away now. He's straight and likes girls, and is big, muscular, and athletic but he's also very soft spoken and gentle. He has a speech impediment and can be a bit jerky with some everyday movements so he's often quite deliberate in how he speaks and moves. I think all of this added up to being why he was teased. Kids can be such jerks. The best defense for him seems to have been o act bored or change the subject. He has no problem w/gay, bi, or any other orientation (sorry if that's the wrong word), and he thinks the kids that teased him are total dumba$$es so not worth the emotional energy. With regard to supporting him, I have learned to ask if he just wants me to listen or if he wants advice, and have gotten better about not just jumping in and reacting. I'm a natural fixer so it was a very steep learning curve, but doable even though I still have to apologize for jumping in at full speed sometimes when there's a problem. When I jump in emotionally, it throws him so I have to practice a calm listening face. |
He can try to butch up some. Every boy gets teased like that at some point, warranted o r not. Kids just rib each other to find a reaction. He must have reacted in a way that amused them, so they went with it. |
| Martial arts, multiple days a week. |
No. This will make it worse. And it sounds like the DS isn’t able to comfortably address it in the moment. |
| And OP, is a different school an option? This is unacceptable and the fact that the school is not on top of it is incredibly worrisome. |
Then he tries to go all Bruce Lee on some bully, and gets hanged on a coat rack by his underwear/belt.... Once kids know some kid is in martial arts, they will all want to challenge him to fights. |
MAGA thinks that’s ok. Welcome to our new normal. |