Husband asked me to look more presentable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As long as he’s doing everything around the house like cleaning, meal prep, shopping, laundry, etc. AND making time for you to shower, then you should try to shower each day. But if he’s not doing everything around the house then he can suck it.

He does what he can but he has a lot on his plate. I’m caring for our newborn and doing most of the house stuff when I’m able to. No cooking. We have been eating takeout or quick meals. Cleaning is just bare minimum, and laundry is 1-2 times a week. I order groceries to be delivered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Y'all really will make every excuse for a woman, huh?

Op, this is nasty. Please get in the shower and clean yourself.

I know it’s gross but it’s the time in my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please shower each day. You will feel better.

Showering for me is a task. I’m in a lot of pain. The herniated disc presses on my sciatic nerve. Standing up, bending, and walking is really painful. I can only stand for very short periods before the pain becomes too much.

[Anonymous]

my daughter has a 2 month old. she wore the same clothes every day for about a month. i do know she showered though.

do you have some comfy clothes like loungewear or sweatshirt and pants? if not, get a few comfy outfits and rotate them or get them so they are mix and match.

do shower and put on clothes, though.

other than that, you can do as you please until you are feeling better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Showering 4 times in a month? I’m sorry but it shouldn’t be this way. Please get some help with the baby so you can take care of yourself. Let your husband know you need at least an hour a day to get yourself together. That’s not too much to ask.

It’s more like 4 times in the 2.5 weeks I’ve been home. So about 2 times a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my daughter has a 2 month old. she wore the same clothes every day for about a month. i do know she showered though.

do you have some comfy clothes like loungewear or sweatshirt and pants? if not, get a few comfy outfits and rotate them or get them so they are mix and match.

do shower and put on clothes, though.

other than that, you can do as you please until you are feeling better.

I have comfy clothes but I didn’t buy a lot. I go through them quickly and can’t always do laundry as often as I want.

[Anonymous]

I'm 4 months pp and I shower about every 3 days.

Your husband has to outsource care for his mom and focus on you during this time. He should probably take leave from work when he can as well.

Everyone blaming OP has a reservation in hell waiting for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 4 months pp and I shower about every 3 days.

Your husband has to outsource care for his mom and focus on you during this time. He should probably take leave from work when he can as well.

Everyone blaming OP has a reservation in hell waiting for them.

His mom can’t afford to hire care. She is recovering from knee after a bad fall. My husband is the only one she has to help her.

He is taking leave after I go back to work to bridge the gap between me going back and daycare.

He works a lot and he’s trying to start a business. He’s very busy so we agreed that I would handle majority of child care during these years. We didn’t intend for me to have a c-section or injure my back.

[Anonymous]

Don't have more kids with him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 4 months pp and I shower about every 3 days.

Your husband has to outsource care for his mom and focus on you during this time. He should probably take leave from work when he can as well.

Everyone blaming OP has a reservation in hell waiting for them.

I think this forum forgets that a majority of the population doesn’t make well over 6 figures. I know many have a skewed sense of reality when it comes to salaries, but we don’t make the standard $300+like most posters. Not everyone can afford to outsource or hire expensive help.

[Anonymous]

Maybe order a few more inexpensive outfits online?

[Anonymous]

Even in pasparrdum my wife was very f**ble. Your husband doesn't love you enough otherwise he wouldn't have said that. And you are in your own home. You are not a high end restaurant. If this guy is asking you to look presentable in your own safe space then I am worried about your relationship going forward.

[Anonymous]

OP, you need a lot of support right now. Back pain from an herniated disc while tending a newborn is a lot. It would be hard to get out of bad daily for most people in this condition. Are your parents nearby?

[Anonymous]

Put a chair in the shower so you can sit?

[Anonymous]

Don’t listen to these people, OP. You’re doing great. I didn’t shower very much for the first month postpartum either. Once or twice a week and, like you mentioned, bidet. I didn’t get sweaty at all because it was the middle of winter. I had wipes for my boobs and underboobs if milk leaked. I did change my underwear and bra 4x a day, but wasn’t really wearing “real” clothes that I could go out in.

It was completely a season of life, and my husband was home every day and had that first two months off too. I started by wearing easy and loose dresses, then moved onto athleisure.

Take it easy, as long as you feel clean, that should be good enough. Ignore your husband or tell him he’s being a complete ass. His negativity sure doesn’t help. He can do more if he wants you to heal faster.