Husband asked me to look more presentable

[Anonymous]

He can run a warm bath with some Epsom salts. The magnesium will absorb through your skin and help your energy and healing levels. DH can run the bath for you and watch the baby while you soak. That is a compromise.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, OP, you really need to shower and change clothes daily. I am really not trying to be mean, but you probably smell after a week of no showering. And showering regularly will help to some degree how you feel.

I know you say you're not depressed, but this is a huge red flag for depression.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is the baby? This seems unreasonable unless it’s really extreme. Like if the baby is six months old and you’re showing once a week. He might have a point. If the baby is less than a month, he should not be doing anything.

A little over 1 month. I think I’ve showered maybe 4 times since giving birth. I will wear the same clothes until I shower again.

Oh gosh, that sounds like depression.

Not depression. I have a newborn and had a c-section and have a disc herniation exacerbated by pregnancy and labor.

I had a c section but not the disc herniation. I could not wait to shower. I showered when the baby took a nap when I was home alone.

Does your husband take care of the baby at all? That's when you can shower.

I think you might you feel better if you shower. I sure did. If you are only showering once a week, I think he has a point. At least change your clothes. I think you do have some PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, OP, you really need to shower and change clothes daily. I am really not trying to be mean, but you probably smell after a week of no showering. And showering regularly will help to some degree how you feel.

I know you say you're not depressed, but this is a huge red flag for depression.

Completely agree and I empathize. You should be showering more regularly and not wearing unclean pajamas on a daily basis. Do you have any family who can help? Can you hire part time help? The first few months are tough. Best of luck to you.

-mother of 4

[Anonymous]

At a month out, you should be turning a corner. I think you should set yourself a goal of showering at least 2-3 times this week and changing your clothes including underwear daily. Use a baby wipe and at least wipe your undercarriage and armpits. If you can’t meet that goal, I think you need to talk to a doctor about what’s going on with you. Do you have supper comfy clothes? It’s okay to still wear your pregnancy clothes. Ask your husband if he can help with laundry if that’s the issue.

I had three, including two c sections and one with a massive hemorrhage that put me on the ICU for almost a week, so I know it can be tough. But you should be starting to crawl out of the hole by now.

[Anonymous]

Leave the OP alone. It's only been one month and she's overwhelmed.

OP, you're good. Tell your DH to buzz off. Maybe he can step up helping around the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He can run a warm bath with some Epsom salts. The magnesium will absorb through your skin and help your energy and healing levels. DH can run the bath for you and watch the baby while you soak. That is a compromise.

If op had a c section they shouldn't bath yet. Speaking from experience on this 2x

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is the baby? This seems unreasonable unless it’s really extreme. Like if the baby is six months old and you’re showing once a week. He might have a point. If the baby is less than a month, he should not be doing anything.

A little over 1 month. I think I’ve showered maybe 4 times since giving birth. I will wear the same clothes until I shower again.

Oh gosh, that sounds like depression.

Not depression. I have a newborn and had a c-section and have a disc herniation exacerbated by pregnancy and labor.

If he wants you to look more "presentable" then he either needs to stay home to take care of his own baby s few times a week, or you all need to hire someone to take care of the baby while you shower and change clothes.

[Anonymous]

As long as he’s doing everything around the house like cleaning, meal prep, shopping, laundry, etc. AND making time for you to shower, then you should try to shower each day. But if he’s not doing everything around the house then he can suck it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, OP, you really need to shower and change clothes daily. I am really not trying to be mean, but you probably smell after a week of no showering. And showering regularly will help to some degree how you feel.

I know you say you're not depressed, but this is a huge red flag for depression.

I’m not depressed.

We have a bidet. I use body wipes on areas. I brush my teeth daily. Wash my face.

It’s been a month but I’ve only been home for about 2.5 weeks. I had to stay in the hospital for an injury.

I’ve been trying my best. Taking care of a newborn is hard. It’s even harder when I’m recovering from a c-section and a herniated disc in my lower back. I’m in a lot of pain and just standing and walking is painful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is the baby? This seems unreasonable unless it’s really extreme. Like if the baby is six months old and you’re showing once a week. He might have a point. If the baby is less than a month, he should not be doing anything.

A little over 1 month. I think I’ve showered maybe 4 times since giving birth. I will wear the same clothes until I shower again.

Oh gosh, that sounds like depression.

Not depression. I have a newborn and had a c-section and have a disc herniation exacerbated by pregnancy and labor.

I had a c section but not the disc herniation. I could not wait to shower. I showered when the baby took a nap when I was home alone.

Does your husband take care of the baby at all? That's when you can shower.

I think you might you feel better if you shower. I sure did. If you are only showering once a week, I think he has a point. At least change your clothes. I think you do have some PP.

When’s he’s home and able to. He is very busy with work, building a business, and helping out his elderly mother who has been going through some health issues.

95% of the baby care is on me. I shower when I know he is home and I have ample time.

[Anonymous]

Y'all really will make every excuse for a woman, huh?

Op, this is nasty. Please get in the shower and clean yourself.

[Anonymous]

Please shower each day. You will feel better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, OP, you really need to shower and change clothes daily. I am really not trying to be mean, but you probably smell after a week of no showering. And showering regularly will help to some degree how you feel.

I know you say you're not depressed, but this is a huge red flag for depression.

Completely agree and I empathize. You should be showering more regularly and not wearing unclean pajamas on a daily basis. Do you have any family who can help? Can you hire part time help? The first few months are tough. Best of luck to you.

-mother of 4

I know I need to get better. I need to do laundry more so I have more clothes to wear. I don’t so I just wear the dirty ones until my husband does laundry or I muster up the strength to do it.

We don’t have help. I’ve reached out to some caregivers but most regular ones want more hours than I’m willing to give. A doula is way too expensive for us. We don’t have a lot of extra funds to afford that kind of care.

[Anonymous]

Showering 4 times in a month? I’m sorry but it shouldn’t be this way. Please get some help with the baby so you can take care of yourself. Let your husband know you need at least an hour a day to get yourself together. That’s not too much to ask.