Staying together with an open marriage?

[Anonymous]

What happens when one of your kids finds out either of you is dating other people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What happens when one of your kids finds out either of you is dating other people?

This sounds like horrible modeling for your kids regarding how they view marriage in their own adult lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What happens when one of your kids finds out either of you is dating other people?

Or these precious friends of op?

[Anonymous]

I hope your husband isn’t f***ing children, because it’s very creepy he received a ‘dilf’ Taylor swift bracelet. Maybe be more concerned about your husband going to jail for being a pedo then losing your meal ticket.

[Anonymous]

As someone that stayed in a miserable marriage, which we didn’t open, I would recommend divorcing.

Staying together for the kids was a mistake and now that they are about to go off to college, they will be freshmen and worried about parents and divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you just don’t want to get a job lol. It also sounds like your DH has no respect for you or your family. He’s already in an open relationship, giving it freely to anyone he can. Assuming his younger plaything gave him that gross bracelet. Honestly really really gross if she’s young enough to make it swiftie-esque. You don’t actually care about it affecting the children, you just don’t want to lose your rich friends and fancy cars and house.

Just know this is the type of relationship you are modelling for your children. No respect, no caring, no truth, no self esteem. I hope you realize how badly that reflects on you both. Your sons are learning it’s totally fine to have multiple side pieces- their POS wives will never leave. And you’ll be responsible for that behavior. Your daughters are learning that they have no value if they aren’t someone’s wife, even if their husband doesn’t love them, doesn’t show them any respect and uses them.

This is why people say that “staying for the kids” isn’t actually helping. At least admit that you want to stay because you’re scared, lazy and don’t want to be alone. Don’t put your la k of self esteem on your poor children.

Those are some profoundly misogynistic assumptions, there. OP never suggested that she's staying for money. For all we know, she's the major breadwinner. She's in it for her kids. Anyone who has been in or near a divorce understands how heartbreaking it is to give up 50% of the time you have with your children. If OP wants to date other people and stay married, I hope she finds someone who blows her mind in bed.

They might be misogynistic assumptions, but they are also probably true statements. Op is unlikely to be the breadwinner staying with a cheater. Use your brain here. She doesn’t care about her children - all she posted was about her friends and lifestyle! THATS what she doesn’t want to lose.

Sorry not sorry, f***ing up your kids life by staying in this type of marriage is not any better than divorce and is likely profoundly worse for them.

OP, are you staying for financial reasons?

OP Here - I work FT. But divorcing would put a major financial strain on us, so finances are of consideration (ie - we can't afford 2 separate living arrangements)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you just don’t want to get a job lol. It also sounds like your DH has no respect for you or your family. He’s already in an open relationship, giving it freely to anyone he can. Assuming his younger plaything gave him that gross bracelet. Honestly really really gross if she’s young enough to make it swiftie-esque. You don’t actually care about it affecting the children, you just don’t want to lose your rich friends and fancy cars and house.

Just know this is the type of relationship you are modelling for your children. No respect, no caring, no truth, no self esteem. I hope you realize how badly that reflects on you both. Your sons are learning it’s totally fine to have multiple side pieces- their POS wives will never leave. And you’ll be responsible for that behavior. Your daughters are learning that they have no value if they aren’t someone’s wife, even if their husband doesn’t love them, doesn’t show them any respect and uses them.

This is why people say that “staying for the kids” isn’t actually helping. At least admit that you want to stay because you’re scared, lazy and don’t want to be alone. Don’t put your la k of self esteem on your poor children.

Those are some profoundly misogynistic assumptions, there. OP never suggested that she's staying for money. For all we know, she's the major breadwinner. She's in it for her kids. Anyone who has been in or near a divorce understands how heartbreaking it is to give up 50% of the time you have with your children. If OP wants to date other people and stay married, I hope she finds someone who blows her mind in bed.

They might be misogynistic assumptions, but they are also probably true statements. Op is unlikely to be the breadwinner staying with a cheater. Use your brain here. She doesn’t care about her children - all she posted was about her friends and lifestyle! THATS what she doesn’t want to lose.

Sorry not sorry, f***ing up your kids life by staying in this type of marriage is not any better than divorce and is likely profoundly worse for them.

OP, are you staying for financial reasons?

OP Here - I work FT. But divorcing would put a major financial strain on us, so finances are of consideration (ie - we can't afford 2 separate living arrangements)

Why are you beating around the bush? Yes, you are staying for financial reasons. Not for the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you just don’t want to get a job lol. It also sounds like your DH has no respect for you or your family. He’s already in an open relationship, giving it freely to anyone he can. Assuming his younger plaything gave him that gross bracelet. Honestly really really gross if she’s young enough to make it swiftie-esque. You don’t actually care about it affecting the children, you just don’t want to lose your rich friends and fancy cars and house.

Just know this is the type of relationship you are modelling for your children. No respect, no caring, no truth, no self esteem. I hope you realize how badly that reflects on you both. Your sons are learning it’s totally fine to have multiple side pieces- their POS wives will never leave. And you’ll be responsible for that behavior. Your daughters are learning that they have no value if they aren’t someone’s wife, even if their husband doesn’t love them, doesn’t show them any respect and uses them.

This is why people say that “staying for the kids” isn’t actually helping. At least admit that you want to stay because you’re scared, lazy and don’t want to be alone. Don’t put your la k of self esteem on your poor children.

Those are some profoundly misogynistic assumptions, there. OP never suggested that she's staying for money. For all we know, she's the major breadwinner. She's in it for her kids. Anyone who has been in or near a divorce understands how heartbreaking it is to give up 50% of the time you have with your children. If OP wants to date other people and stay married, I hope she finds someone who blows her mind in bed.

They might be misogynistic assumptions, but they are also probably true statements. Op is unlikely to be the breadwinner staying with a cheater. Use your brain here. She doesn’t care about her children - all she posted was about her friends and lifestyle! THATS what she doesn’t want to lose.

Sorry not sorry, f***ing up your kids life by staying in this type of marriage is not any better than divorce and is likely profoundly worse for them.

OP, are you staying for financial reasons?

OP Here - I work FT. But divorcing would put a major financial strain on us, so finances are of consideration (ie - we can't afford 2 separate living arrangements)

Why are you beating around the bush? Yes, you are staying for financial reasons. Not for the kids.

Not beating around the bush at all. It's absolutely about the kids and how a divorce would impact their lives. On top of that, there are financial challenges to divorcing.

[Anonymous]

As soon as one person cheats they have opened the marriage. Clearly they did it without consulting their partner but if when they find out about the cheating they seek out other sex partners too it's because the cheater has already opened the marriage. It might be a good idea to have a discussion about it so you both realize what has happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you just don’t want to get a job lol. It also sounds like your DH has no respect for you or your family. He’s already in an open relationship, giving it freely to anyone he can. Assuming his younger plaything gave him that gross bracelet. Honestly really really gross if she’s young enough to make it swiftie-esque. You don’t actually care about it affecting the children, you just don’t want to lose your rich friends and fancy cars and house.

Just know this is the type of relationship you are modelling for your children. No respect, no caring, no truth, no self esteem. I hope you realize how badly that reflects on you both. Your sons are learning it’s totally fine to have multiple side pieces- their POS wives will never leave. And you’ll be responsible for that behavior. Your daughters are learning that they have no value if they aren’t someone’s wife, even if their husband doesn’t love them, doesn’t show them any respect and uses them.

This is why people say that “staying for the kids” isn’t actually helping. At least admit that you want to stay because you’re scared, lazy and don’t want to be alone. Don’t put your la k of self esteem on your poor children.

Those are some profoundly misogynistic assumptions, there. OP never suggested that she's staying for money. For all we know, she's the major breadwinner. She's in it for her kids. Anyone who has been in or near a divorce understands how heartbreaking it is to give up 50% of the time you have with your children. If OP wants to date other people and stay married, I hope she finds someone who blows her mind in bed.

They might be misogynistic assumptions, but they are also probably true statements. Op is unlikely to be the breadwinner staying with a cheater. Use your brain here. She doesn’t care about her children - all she posted was about her friends and lifestyle! THATS what she doesn’t want to lose.

Sorry not sorry, f***ing up your kids life by staying in this type of marriage is not any better than divorce and is likely profoundly worse for them.

OP, are you staying for financial reasons?

OP Here - I work FT. But divorcing would put a major financial strain on us, so finances are of consideration (ie - we can't afford 2 separate living arrangements)

Why are you beating around the bush? Yes, you are staying for financial reasons. Not for the kids.

Not beating around the bush at all. It's absolutely about the kids and how a divorce would impact their lives. On top of that, there are financial challenges to divorcing.

As opposed to staying with a serial cheater and showing your children how little worth a spouse has? Yikes mama. Please actually think about your children. Divorce is not better than whatever f*** show you’re putting on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you just don’t want to get a job lol. It also sounds like your DH has no respect for you or your family. He’s already in an open relationship, giving it freely to anyone he can. Assuming his younger plaything gave him that gross bracelet. Honestly really really gross if she’s young enough to make it swiftie-esque. You don’t actually care about it affecting the children, you just don’t want to lose your rich friends and fancy cars and house.

Just know this is the type of relationship you are modelling for your children. No respect, no caring, no truth, no self esteem. I hope you realize how badly that reflects on you both. Your sons are learning it’s totally fine to have multiple side pieces- their POS wives will never leave. And you’ll be responsible for that behavior. Your daughters are learning that they have no value if they aren’t someone’s wife, even if their husband doesn’t love them, doesn’t show them any respect and uses them.

This is why people say that “staying for the kids” isn’t actually helping. At least admit that you want to stay because you’re scared, lazy and don’t want to be alone. Don’t put your la k of self esteem on your poor children.

Those are some profoundly misogynistic assumptions, there. OP never suggested that she's staying for money. For all we know, she's the major breadwinner. She's in it for her kids. Anyone who has been in or near a divorce understands how heartbreaking it is to give up 50% of the time you have with your children. If OP wants to date other people and stay married, I hope she finds someone who blows her mind in bed.

They might be misogynistic assumptions, but they are also probably true statements. Op is unlikely to be the breadwinner staying with a cheater. Use your brain here. She doesn’t care about her children - all she posted was about her friends and lifestyle! THATS what she doesn’t want to lose.

Sorry not sorry, f***ing up your kids life by staying in this type of marriage is not any better than divorce and is likely profoundly worse for them.

OP, are you staying for financial reasons?

OP Here - I work FT. But divorcing would put a major financial strain on us, so finances are of consideration (ie - we can't afford 2 separate living arrangements)

Why are you beating around the bush? Yes, you are staying for financial reasons. Not for the kids.

Not beating around the bush at all. It's absolutely about the kids and how a divorce would impact their lives. On top of that, there are financial challenges to divorcing.

As opposed to staying with a serial cheater and showing your children how little worth a spouse has? Yikes mama. Please actually think about your children. Divorce is not better than whatever f*** show you’re putting on.

I actually hope that if my children ever learn about this situation, they’ll see a mother who did everything she could to give them a stable and happy home. They are smart kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you just don’t want to get a job lol. It also sounds like your DH has no respect for you or your family. He’s already in an open relationship, giving it freely to anyone he can. Assuming his younger plaything gave him that gross bracelet. Honestly really really gross if she’s young enough to make it swiftie-esque. You don’t actually care about it affecting the children, you just don’t want to lose your rich friends and fancy cars and house.

Just know this is the type of relationship you are modelling for your children. No respect, no caring, no truth, no self esteem. I hope you realize how badly that reflects on you both. Your sons are learning it’s totally fine to have multiple side pieces- their POS wives will never leave. And you’ll be responsible for that behavior. Your daughters are learning that they have no value if they aren’t someone’s wife, even if their husband doesn’t love them, doesn’t show them any respect and uses them.

This is why people say that “staying for the kids” isn’t actually helping. At least admit that you want to stay because you’re scared, lazy and don’t want to be alone. Don’t put your la k of self esteem on your poor children.

This x 1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you just don’t want to get a job lol. It also sounds like your DH has no respect for you or your family. He’s already in an open relationship, giving it freely to anyone he can. Assuming his younger plaything gave him that gross bracelet. Honestly really really gross if she’s young enough to make it swiftie-esque. You don’t actually care about it affecting the children, you just don’t want to lose your rich friends and fancy cars and house.

Just know this is the type of relationship you are modelling for your children. No respect, no caring, no truth, no self esteem. I hope you realize how badly that reflects on you both. Your sons are learning it’s totally fine to have multiple side pieces- their POS wives will never leave. And you’ll be responsible for that behavior. Your daughters are learning that they have no value if they aren’t someone’s wife, even if their husband doesn’t love them, doesn’t show them any respect and uses them.

This is why people say that “staying for the kids” isn’t actually helping. At least admit that you want to stay because you’re scared, lazy and don’t want to be alone. Don’t put your la k of self esteem on your poor children.

This x 1000

I wish more people on DCUM put their kids first without bashing others. Those who put their kids first will at the very least, understand the OP perspective..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you just don’t want to get a job lol. It also sounds like your DH has no respect for you or your family. He’s already in an open relationship, giving it freely to anyone he can. Assuming his younger plaything gave him that gross bracelet. Honestly really really gross if she’s young enough to make it swiftie-esque. You don’t actually care about it affecting the children, you just don’t want to lose your rich friends and fancy cars and house.

Just know this is the type of relationship you are modelling for your children. No respect, no caring, no truth, no self esteem. I hope you realize how badly that reflects on you both. Your sons are learning it’s totally fine to have multiple side pieces- their POS wives will never leave. And you’ll be responsible for that behavior. Your daughters are learning that they have no value if they aren’t someone’s wife, even if their husband doesn’t love them, doesn’t show them any respect and uses them.

This is why people say that “staying for the kids” isn’t actually helping. At least admit that you want to stay because you’re scared, lazy and don’t want to be alone. Don’t put your la k of self esteem on your poor children.

Those are some profoundly misogynistic assumptions, there. OP never suggested that she's staying for money. For all we know, she's the major breadwinner. She's in it for her kids. Anyone who has been in or near a divorce understands how heartbreaking it is to give up 50% of the time you have with your children. If OP wants to date other people and stay married, I hope she finds someone who blows her mind in bed.

They might be misogynistic assumptions, but they are also probably true statements. Op is unlikely to be the breadwinner staying with a cheater. Use your brain here. She doesn’t care about her children - all she posted was about her friends and lifestyle! THATS what she doesn’t want to lose.

Sorry not sorry, f***ing up your kids life by staying in this type of marriage is not any better than divorce and is likely profoundly worse for them.

OP, are you staying for financial reasons?

OP Here - I work FT. But divorcing would put a major financial strain on us, so finances are of consideration (ie - we can't afford 2 separate living arrangements)

Why are you beating around the bush? Yes, you are staying for financial reasons. Not for the kids.

Not beating around the bush at all. It's absolutely about the kids and how a divorce would impact their lives. On top of that, there are financial challenges to divorcing.

So how does it work? The husband goes out a few nights a week to get laid while you stay at home and play board games with the kids? Are you really ready to shut down your own intimate life? What if you take a lover? Or go home with randoms on your free nights? Is husband cool with that? They rarely are once they realize how easy it is for women to find random sex. And I don't see how any of this is modeling healthy relationships for your kids.

The likelihood of any family with younger children surviving an open marriage without it leading to divorce and profound issues for the children is approximately zero.

[Anonymous]

Your children’s best interest is for their parents to stay married (absent abuse). It is not in their interest for their father to marry someone who might have her own kids or have kids with him herself—either way, your children will lose their father because a lot of men just move on from kids from first marriage.