Why Are College Applications So Secretive Among Private School Parents/Students But Not Among Public School Families?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Schools like GDS are filled with competitive and ambitious kids that are mostly aiming for T10 schools. Over their 4 years of high school, most will realize they don't have the grades or accomplishments to land them a spot at one of those schools. This can trigger feelings of shame, anxiety, or embarrassment.

Public school kids, however, are mostly not trying to get into a top college and their peers will not judge them for their rejections. At JRHS, there's no shame in ending up at Clemson, Alabama, or Tulane.

Well the second paragraph is wrong. Spoiler alert: high achieving public school kids are ambitious. The first comment in this thread is correct, public school kids just didn’t spend a bunch of money to get in to a top school.

My kids have all gone to Jackson-Reed and trust me there is a whole cohort of extremely smart, competitive and motivated students there. A lot of chose to send our kids there for many reasons - true diversity, a school where they have to learn to advocated for themselves but also a school where there is always a niche for them, so many opportunities in terms of math, science, engineering, and other academies not to mention tons of extracurriculars and sports. Though it is wicked hard to make the Varsity teams as there are too many kids.

My kids and their friends have all openly talked scores, grades where they are applying and where they get in. They are also smart enough to know how a hook works and not to get too upset and not getting into an elite school. Many of them are so used to big schools, they want to go to even bigger schools. There are also a lot of STEM kids and the opportunities are often better at the big publics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because they just paid $500,000 and their kid is only going to Penn state. They might as well have saved the money and gone public school.

That is a really shallow view of life you have there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they just paid $500,000 and their kid is only going to Penn state. They might as well have saved the money and gone public school.

Doesn't work like that. The private school kid will still most likely be more successful in life and more prepared for college - better writer, better studying skills, and definitely better public speaking as they are used to speaking in class and engaging one on one with adult teachers.

Please. As someone who did go to a private school like that, yes you might be more prepared for college, but don’t think this is some lifetime exclusive benefit and public school kids aren’t bringing a lot of skills to the table as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is in his senior year at GDS and the college application process here is very intense. People get very uncomfortable and offended if you ask where their kid is thinking of applying. Students tend to not want to share this information with each other.

My neighbor's children all go to Jackson-Reed and all the kids openly share where they are applying, their struggles on the SAT and often laugh about it together. There seems to be far less competition and anxiety over the college process at JRHS than at GDS and other top private schools.

I also notice many Jackson-Reed families have no issue saying "yeah, my kid got rejected by all their top choices but will be attending Penn State and is excited about it." Families at GDS would be mortified to say anything like that.

I wanted to know why do students from each of these environments have such disparate approaches to college applications?

Frankly, it's no one else's business. Focus on your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because they just paid $500,000 and their kid is only going to Penn state. They might as well have saved the money and gone public school.

Keep on thinking that's the reason why parents send their kids to private school!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Schools like GDS are filled with competitive and ambitious kids that are mostly aiming for T10 schools. Over their 4 years of high school, most will realize they don't have the grades or accomplishments to land them a spot at one of those schools. This can trigger feelings of shame, anxiety, or embarrassment.

Public school kids, however, are mostly not trying to get into a top college and their peers will not judge them for their rejections. At JRHS, there's no shame in ending up at Clemson, Alabama, or Tulane.

My DC attended a Big3 and proudly attends Tulane. No shame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is in his senior year at GDS and the college application process here is very intense. People get very uncomfortable and offended if you ask where their kid is thinking of applying. Students tend to not want to share this information with each other.

My neighbor's children all go to Jackson-Reed and all the kids openly share where they are applying, their struggles on the SAT and often laugh about it together. There seems to be far less competition and anxiety over the college process at JRHS than at GDS and other top private schools.

I also notice many Jackson-Reed families have no issue saying "yeah, my kid got rejected by all their top choices but will be attending Penn State and is excited about it." Families at GDS would be mortified to say anything like that.

I wanted to know why do students from each of these environments have such disparate approaches to college applications?

Frankly, it's no one else's business. Focus on your kid.

This is OP. I know it's not my business. I didn't need you to tell me this. I am asking about why are the cultures different between school types.

[Anonymous]

Jackson Reed has 32% of student body classified as at risk. My guess is GDS has less than 1%
The student experience is very different when 1/3 of your classmates are living near poverty or have housing in stability.
I know a few GDS students from the current class and although the kids work hard, they have limited sense of their privilege. Don't get me wrong they had a lovely period product drive and advocated on capital hill. But their summer was not working at Chic Fila

[Anonymous]

Where does your kids rank at Jackson Reed? A friends son was toke his number ranking. He’s in the top 5%.

[Anonymous]

It’s the parents, stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is in his senior year at GDS and the college application process here is very intense. People get very uncomfortable and offended if you ask where their kid is thinking of applying. Students tend to not want to share this information with each other.

My neighbor's children all go to Jackson-Reed and all the kids openly share where they are applying, their struggles on the SAT and often laugh about it together. There seems to be far less competition and anxiety over the college process at JRHS than at GDS and other top private schools.

I also notice many Jackson-Reed families have no issue saying "yeah, my kid got rejected by all their top choices but will be attending Penn State and is excited about it." Families at GDS would be mortified to say anything like that.

I wanted to know why do students from each of these environments have such disparate approaches to college applications?

Frankly, it's no one else's business. Focus on your kid.

This is OP. I know it's not my business. I didn't need you to tell me this. I am asking about why are the cultures different between school types.

but they are not different. Our public and private have identical cultures on this issue. Why do you assume your experience is true across the board?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they just paid $500,000 and their kid is only going to Penn state. They might as well have saved the money and gone public school.

Keep on thinking that's the reason why parents send their kids to private school!

You are missing the point. Any specific college result is not the reason parents send their kids to private school, but I don’t know anyone the sends their kid to a private school expecting from the outset their kid is going to Alabama…even though some do (athletic recruits aside).

I know several GDS parents and they basically have said there kid isn’t going anywhere lower than top 25 through hell or high water. Seems like it will work out for them, but a place like Alabama just isn’t on the table even if their kid really wants it.

[Anonymous]

I'm a recent GDS parent and our experience was entirely different that OP's. Lots of sharing among parents, and shared frustration with the CCO. Might have to do with your particular social circle, but ours was supportive and pretty open.
BTW, regardless of how secretive the parents are, the kids share a lot amongst themselves.

[Anonymous]

Everyone is secretive but I'm not entirely sure why.

It's not like any kid is going to decide to ED to Duke (random example) because they find out a classmate/friend is Ed'ing to Duke.

If anything, knowing where others are applying will dissuade kids from applying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is in his senior year at GDS and the college application process here is very intense. People get very uncomfortable and offended if you ask where their kid is thinking of applying. Students tend to not want to share this information with each other.

My neighbor's children all go to Jackson-Reed and all the kids openly share where they are applying, their struggles on the SAT and often laugh about it together. There seems to be far less competition and anxiety over the college process at JRHS than at GDS and other top private schools.

I also notice many Jackson-Reed families have no issue saying "yeah, my kid got rejected by all their top choices but will be attending Penn State and is excited about it." Families at GDS would be mortified to say anything like that.

I wanted to know why do students from each of these environments have such disparate approaches to college applications?

It seems like you want to find a negative in having a sense of personal privacy? Regardless of what kind of school they attend, some kids are more comfortable keeping this kind of information close to the chest, and we should all respect that, not belittle it in hopes of satisfying curiosity.