Why Are College Applications So Secretive Among Private School Parents/Students But Not Among Public School Families?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Uh. You are wrong bro. Public school application discussions can be just a secretive and competitive. (Parent of kid at MoCo public high school)

+1 OP at publics in more wealthy DMV areas, secrecy about college applications is on the rise.

[Anonymous]

Another parent of a Moco public high school kid here and it's just as secretive and competitive at DD's school. Many families like us have some kids in public and some in private.

They are still the same people and there's almost a sort of paranoia about talking about the process, like if you say something the person you told the information to will use it against your child and you'll decrease their admissions chances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is in his senior year at GDS and the college application process here is very intense. People get very uncomfortable and offended if you ask where their kid is thinking of applying. Students tend to not want to share this information with each other.

My neighbor's children all go to Jackson-Reed and all the kids openly share where they are applying, their struggles on the SAT and often laugh about it together. There seems to be far less competition and anxiety over the college process at JRHS than at GDS and other top private schools.

I also notice many Jackson-Reed families have no issue saying "yeah, my kid got rejected by all their top choices but will be attending Penn State and is excited about it." Families at GDS would be mortified to say anything like that.

I wanted to know why do students from each of these environments have such disparate approaches to college applications?

The one Jackson Reed student we know is not concerned much with their college selection. They say they have all A's but they boast about not doing any homework. They do not do anything after school but hang out with friends in Tenley Town. Very different school experience and environment than my kids that are in school all day, sports after school, then active in school community and clubs a few evenings a week. Very different environments.

[Anonymous]

Our private school parents and students talk openly and give each other advice and encouragement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is in his senior year at GDS and the college application process here is very intense. People get very uncomfortable and offended if you ask where their kid is thinking of applying. Students tend to not want to share this information with each other.

My neighbor's children all go to Jackson-Reed and all the kids openly share where they are applying, their struggles on the SAT and often laugh about it together. There seems to be far less competition and anxiety over the college process at JRHS than at GDS and other top private schools.

I also notice many Jackson-Reed families have no issue saying "yeah, my kid got rejected by all their top choices but will be attending Penn State and is excited about it." Families at GDS would be mortified to say anything like that.

I wanted to know why do students from each of these environments have such disparate approaches to college applications?

You already know the answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can’t make conclusions about other public schools based on JR.

Our public school is just like GDS in terms of secrecy and paranoia.

The ‘W’ schools are like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Schools like GDS are filled with competitive and ambitious kids that are mostly aiming for T10 schools. Over their 4 years of high school, most will realize they don't have the grades or accomplishments to land them a spot at one of those schools. This can trigger feelings of shame, anxiety, or embarrassment.

Public school kids, however, are mostly not trying to get into a top college and their peers will not judge them for their rejections. At JRHS, there's no shame in ending up at Clemson, Alabama, or Tulane.

Well the second paragraph is wrong. Spoiler alert: high achieving public school kids are ambitious. The first comment in this thread is correct, public school kids just didn’t spend a bunch of money to get in to a top school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is in his senior year at GDS and the college application process here is very intense. People get very uncomfortable and offended if you ask where their kid is thinking of applying. Students tend to not want to share this information with each other.

My neighbor's children all go to Jackson-Reed and all the kids openly share where they are applying, their struggles on the SAT and often laugh about it together. There seems to be far less competition and anxiety over the college process at JRHS than at GDS and other top private schools.

I also notice many Jackson-Reed families have no issue saying "yeah, my kid got rejected by all their top choices but will be attending Penn State and is excited about it." Families at GDS would be mortified to say anything like that.

I wanted to know why do students from each of these environments have such disparate approaches to college applications?

The one Jackson Reed student we know is not concerned much with their college selection. They say they have all A's but they boast about not doing any homework. They do not do anything after school but hang out with friends in Tenley Town. Very different school experience and environment than my kids that are in school all day, sports after school, then active in school community and clubs a few evenings a week. Very different environments.

You are basing this on “one” student?

[Anonymous]

Because they just paid $500,000 and their kid is only going to Penn state. They might as well have saved the money and gone public school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is in his senior year at GDS and the college application process here is very intense. People get very uncomfortable and offended if you ask where their kid is thinking of applying. Students tend to not want to share this information with each other.

My neighbor's children all go to Jackson-Reed and all the kids openly share where they are applying, their struggles on the SAT and often laugh about it together. There seems to be far less competition and anxiety over the college process at JRHS than at GDS and other top private schools.

I also notice many Jackson-Reed families have no issue saying "yeah, my kid got rejected by all their top choices but will be attending Penn State and is excited about it." Families at GDS would be mortified to say anything like that.

I wanted to know why do students from each of these environments have such disparate approaches to college applications?

You live IB for Jackson Reed and do not understand this?
You may want to reach back to your undergrad because you clearly did not get the critical thinking skills that you should have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because they just paid $500,000 and their kid is only going to Penn state. They might as well have saved the money and gone public school.

Doesn't work like that. The private school kid will still most likely be more successful in life and more prepared for college - better writer, better studying skills, and definitely better public speaking as they are used to speaking in class and engaging one on one with adult teachers.

[Anonymous]

Ask yourself why you need to ask? Unless you’re footing the bill, you’re just being a busybody and looking for a reason to judge a child’s choices. I don’t recall other parents asking when I was in HS. You’ll know where they applied in the Spring and even then it’s really none of your business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Uh. You are wrong bro. Public school application discussions can be just a secretive and competitive. (Parent of kid at MoCo public high school)

Not in my circles in two Bethesda-area high schools my kids have attended or still attend.

And my private school friends talk to me about applications too - I don't know if they talk to each other, though.

But then I'm a sympathetic listener and willingly share my own experience and insight, so maybe that's a factor. I've noticed people are often comfortable sharing info with me.

[Anonymous]

4th kid is a senior this year and we are completely secret. It has nothing to do with being competitive with others at the private school. It has everythig to do with parents and their comments which my kids have learned the hard way. The random parents with the random comments: oh no one has ever gotten in there from here, you could definietly apply to a better school, have you looked at their _____ Larla took it off their list because of that, blah, blah, blah.

My kids have all been excited about the college application process. What they don't need is some judgemental parent giving them their random thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because you dropped $500k on a private K12 education. If the end result of that is Clemson or Penn State it’s embarrassing.

We paid for the education, not the college placement and WE ARE tremendously proud of our Nittany Lion.