Why Are College Applications So Secretive Among Private School Parents/Students But Not Among Public School Families?

[Anonymous]

My kid is in his senior year at GDS and the college application process here is very intense. People get very uncomfortable and offended if you ask where their kid is thinking of applying. Students tend to not want to share this information with each other.

My neighbor's children all go to Jackson-Reed and all the kids openly share where they are applying, their struggles on the SAT and often laugh about it together. There seems to be far less competition and anxiety over the college process at JRHS than at GDS and other top private schools.

I also notice many Jackson-Reed families have no issue saying "yeah, my kid got rejected by all their top choices but will be attending Penn State and is excited about it." Families at GDS would be mortified to say anything like that.

I wanted to know why do students from each of these environments have such disparate approaches to college applications?

[Anonymous]

Because you dropped $500k on a private K12 education. If the end result of that is Clemson or Penn State it’s embarrassing.

[Anonymous]

Because GDS families feel they are competing against each other for a limited number of spots that colleges are willing to give to any one private school. Families at big publics are in a bigger bubble and don't feel that sense of competition.

[Anonymous]

Uh. You are wrong bro. Public school application discussions can be just a secretive and competitive. (Parent of kid at MoCo public high school)

[Anonymous]

Because parents of kids at expensive private schools who behave this way are in it for the bragging rights. Kids do it because they feel so much pressure from these parents to go to the “right” school. It’s fun for all!

[Anonymous]

Private school counselors have their hand in their students’ applications. Many are applying ED and counselors help identify these students while discouraging others. They ask students not to talk!

Public school counselors have no such role. Everyone is for themselves. Kids share information freely - but too much IMO. It can be competitive and toxic, and better when info is kept private.

[Anonymous]

It is believed: information is power. It is believed, at private schools, the guidance dept, has some power re: who gets accepted over whom. There is not that assumption at public.

[Anonymous]

Schools like GDS are filled with competitive and ambitious kids that are mostly aiming for T10 schools. Over their 4 years of high school, most will realize they don't have the grades or accomplishments to land them a spot at one of those schools. This can trigger feelings of shame, anxiety, or embarrassment.

Public school kids, however, are mostly not trying to get into a top college and their peers will not judge them for their rejections. At JRHS, there's no shame in ending up at Clemson, Alabama, or Tulane.

[Anonymous]

My kid is at a Big3 and so many kids are applying to the same schools. Some are legit candidates, others are not (kid and/or parent is delusional). In the end it seems to all sort out as it should (contrary to a few DCUM conspiracy theorists who insist that VIP kids trump all with inferior grades).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Schools like GDS are filled with competitive and ambitious kids that are mostly aiming for T10 schools. Over their 4 years of high school, most will realize they don't have the grades or accomplishments to land them a spot at one of those schools. This can trigger feelings of shame, anxiety, or embarrassment.

The fact that GDS students not attending T10 schools voluntarily post their destination on Instagram belies your contention that there are feelings of shame, anxiety, or embarrassment.

[Anonymous]

You can’t make conclusions about other public schools based on JR.

Our public school is just like GDS in terms of secrecy and paranoia.

[Anonymous]

If you plan to ED to a SLAC that probably isn't going to take more than a couple of kids from the same school, you probably aren't going around signing its praises

[Anonymous]

Our independent advised both parents and students to not talk about it - it is an individualized decision and a lot of discussion only creates anxiety and you also lose focus on what matters if you are influenced by others opinions. I always appreciated this advice and had no idea what my kids friends were doing (for the most part) until decisions started coming out.

[Anonymous]

Why do you ask?

[Anonymous]

There is more variation in public school on where students will apply.