Is middle school miserable for most kids

[Anonymous]

I think MS can be on as long as kids don't grow up too quickly and still get to be kids. And if more can be done with the kids who end up being jerks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It wasn't miserable for me, in the sense that I was not teased or picked on, but except for two friends that I had since elementary, I was generally politely ignored, for the most part. So not especially enjoyable.

Same for me. I found outside activities and found good friends there. But only one friend in school.

[Anonymous]

MS was fine for me. I went to a big public for sixth grade and basically was a quiet mouse who was largely ignored but had several good friends I enjoyed hanging out wiht, and then I transferred to a small private school where I had lots of fun and really enjoyed the close-knit community. The people I met in seventh grade are still my best friends who I communicate with on almost a daily basis.

[Anonymous]

No, my kid liked it but they stayed virtual.

[Anonymous]

It's an awkward stage when kids are changing rapidly, but at different times/rates. They are physically growing and often feel awkward in their new form, especially when some in a friend group experience this changes a year or more before others. Hormones drive their emotions nuts. They are gaining independence, but still learning how to use it responsibly. Friend groups shift and change as their interests change from "little kid" to more grown up interests.

All of that can make for a very turbulent period. So, while obviously not every single kid is miserable in middle school, it does tend to have more drama and turmoil than most other ages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MS is usually miserable for so many kids it makes me wonder why it even exists. Or what could be done, if anything to make it better.

I mean the concept of middle school is fairly recent. Elementaries used to go through 6th grade and then you either had a junior high (7-9th) and high school (10-12) or in rare cases a combined high school that was 7-12.

At some point they figured out that separating all the super hormonal kids at peak puberty from everyone else would at least make elementary school and high school a bit better. But I don't think they've ever really figured out how to make middle school better serve the needs of this age group. I think a lot of it has to do with our discomfort as a society with kids sexually maturing. But it's made worse by increased pressure on kids academically. So basically middle school kids are given too little support with puberty and hormonal changes but are simultaneously told that if they aren't smart and accomplished enough it will ruin their entire lives. It's a recipe for disaster.

I feel like we should approach middle school like early childhood education. With a different focus of course but the same idea -- major focus on life skills and socio-emotional learning and then wrap the academics up in that package. But basically no focus on grades -- just meeting academic and developmental benchmarks and acclimating to the increased expectations of high school.

Yikes no, it’s the opposite. MS kids are ready for challenges and independence. Babying them is the opposite of what they need. Academics and grades are totally appropriate. They also don’t generally need adult-led “social emotional” lessons; but guidance on how to resolve the issues that come up.

I don't think it's babying them. Sure, you can ramp school work up a little bit, but don't forget that they're still kids.

But they are not kids any more. They are not adults, either, but neither are they kids like five years olds are. It's hard for parents to accept that and it's often hard for them to accept that. But treating them as kids is not helping them.

[Anonymous]

Kid 1 struggled all through middle school (different issues, but lots of ups and downs). Starting high school now, hoping *so much* things get better.

Kid 2 has enjoyed fifth and sixth grade (DC charter middle), keeping fingers crossed for smooth sailing but prepping for issues.

My own middle school experience was pretty awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MS is usually miserable for so many kids it makes me wonder why it even exists. Or what could be done, if anything to make it better.

I mean the concept of middle school is fairly recent. Elementaries used to go through 6th grade and then you either had a junior high (7-9th) and high school (10-12) or in rare cases a combined high school that was 7-12.

At some point they figured out that separating all the super hormonal kids at peak puberty from everyone else would at least make elementary school and high school a bit better. But I don't think they've ever really figured out how to make middle school better serve the needs of this age group. I think a lot of it has to do with our discomfort as a society with kids sexually maturing. But it's made worse by increased pressure on kids academically. So basically middle school kids are given too little support with puberty and hormonal changes but are simultaneously told that if they aren't smart and accomplished enough it will ruin their entire lives. It's a recipe for disaster.

I feel like we should approach middle school like early childhood education. With a different focus of course but the same idea -- major focus on life skills and socio-emotional learning and then wrap the academics up in that package. But basically no focus on grades -- just meeting academic and developmental benchmarks and acclimating to the increased expectations of high school.

Yikes no, it’s the opposite. MS kids are ready for challenges and independence. Babying them is the opposite of what they need. Academics and grades are totally appropriate. They also don’t generally need adult-led “social emotional” lessons; but guidance on how to resolve the issues that come up.

I don't think it's babying them. Sure, you can ramp school work up a little bit, but don't forget that they're still kids.

But they are not kids any more. They are not adults, either, but neither are they kids like five years olds are. It's hard for parents to accept that and it's often hard for them to accept that. But treating them as kids is not helping them.

But, they are kids 11-14. You don't need to treat them like they're 3, but they should get to be kids. Have time to be kids, and do kid stuff. It's not like they stop being kids the second they start middle school. I dint know why adults expect that out of them. I'm glad adults didn't do that to me. Especially when I was only 11 and 12.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MS is usually miserable for so many kids it makes me wonder why it even exists. Or what could be done, if anything to make it better.

I mean the concept of middle school is fairly recent. Elementaries used to go through 6th grade and then you either had a junior high (7-9th) and high school (10-12) or in rare cases a combined high school that was 7-12.

At some point they figured out that separating all the super hormonal kids at peak puberty from everyone else would at least make elementary school and high school a bit better. But I don't think they've ever really figured out how to make middle school better serve the needs of this age group. I think a lot of it has to do with our discomfort as a society with kids sexually maturing. But it's made worse by increased pressure on kids academically. So basically middle school kids are given too little support with puberty and hormonal changes but are simultaneously told that if they aren't smart and accomplished enough it will ruin their entire lives. It's a recipe for disaster.

I feel like we should approach middle school like early childhood education. With a different focus of course but the same idea -- major focus on life skills and socio-emotional learning and then wrap the academics up in that package. But basically no focus on grades -- just meeting academic and developmental benchmarks and acclimating to the increased expectations of high school.

Yikes no, it’s the opposite. MS kids are ready for challenges and independence. Babying them is the opposite of what they need. Academics and grades are totally appropriate. They also don’t generally need adult-led “social emotional” lessons; but guidance on how to resolve the issues that come up.

I don't think it's babying them. Sure, you can ramp school work up a little bit, but don't forget that they're still kids.

But they are not kids any more. They are not adults, either, but neither are they kids like five years olds are. It's hard for parents to accept that and it's often hard for them to accept that. But treating them as kids is not helping them.

But, they are kids 11-14. You don't need to treat them like they're 3, but they should get to be kids. Have time to be kids, and do kid stuff. It's not like they stop being kids the second they start middle school. I dint know why adults expect that out of them. I'm glad adults didn't do that to me. Especially when I was only 11 and 12.

The stop being kids the moment they enter puberty (it's not the same moment for everyone which is a part of the problem). They are now more interested in adult stuff than kid stuff. Nobody is making them grow up - they want to, and it's natural.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MS is usually miserable for so many kids it makes me wonder why it even exists. Or what could be done, if anything to make it better.

I mean the concept of middle school is fairly recent. Elementaries used to go through 6th grade and then you either had a junior high (7-9th) and high school (10-12) or in rare cases a combined high school that was 7-12.

At some point they figured out that separating all the super hormonal kids at peak puberty from everyone else would at least make elementary school and high school a bit better. But I don't think they've ever really figured out how to make middle school better serve the needs of this age group. I think a lot of it has to do with our discomfort as a society with kids sexually maturing. But it's made worse by increased pressure on kids academically. So basically middle school kids are given too little support with puberty and hormonal changes but are simultaneously told that if they aren't smart and accomplished enough it will ruin their entire lives. It's a recipe for disaster.

I feel like we should approach middle school like early childhood education. With a different focus of course but the same idea -- major focus on life skills and socio-emotional learning and then wrap the academics up in that package. But basically no focus on grades -- just meeting academic and developmental benchmarks and acclimating to the increased expectations of high school.

Yikes no, it’s the opposite. MS kids are ready for challenges and independence. Babying them is the opposite of what they need. Academics and grades are totally appropriate. They also don’t generally need adult-led “social emotional” lessons; but guidance on how to resolve the issues that come up.

I don't think it's babying them. Sure, you can ramp school work up a little bit, but don't forget that they're still kids.

But they are not kids any more. They are not adults, either, but neither are they kids like five years olds are. It's hard for parents to accept that and it's often hard for them to accept that. But treating them as kids is not helping them.

But, they are kids 11-14. You don't need to treat them like they're 3, but they should get to be kids. Have time to be kids, and do kid stuff. It's not like they stop being kids the second they start middle school. I dint know why adults expect that out of them. I'm glad adults didn't do that to me. Especially when I was only 11 and 12.

The stop being kids the moment they enter puberty (it's not the same moment for everyone which is a part of the problem). They are now more interested in adult stuff than kid stuff. Nobody is making them grow up - they want to, and it's natural.

I don't think it's as simple as just puberty and hormones. Some kids start puberty early, like myself. There is no way I was done being a kid that early or would have wanted to be, I was 9. Even still, I'm not letting my kid get adult interests, puberty or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MS is usually miserable for so many kids it makes me wonder why it even exists. Or what could be done, if anything to make it better.

I mean the concept of middle school is fairly recent. Elementaries used to go through 6th grade and then you either had a junior high (7-9th) and high school (10-12) or in rare cases a combined high school that was 7-12.

At some point they figured out that separating all the super hormonal kids at peak puberty from everyone else would at least make elementary school and high school a bit better. But I don't think they've ever really figured out how to make middle school better serve the needs of this age group. I think a lot of it has to do with our discomfort as a society with kids sexually maturing. But it's made worse by increased pressure on kids academically. So basically middle school kids are given too little support with puberty and hormonal changes but are simultaneously told that if they aren't smart and accomplished enough it will ruin their entire lives. It's a recipe for disaster.

I feel like we should approach middle school like early childhood education. With a different focus of course but the same idea -- major focus on life skills and socio-emotional learning and then wrap the academics up in that package. But basically no focus on grades -- just meeting academic and developmental benchmarks and acclimating to the increased expectations of high school.

Yikes no, it’s the opposite. MS kids are ready for challenges and independence. Babying them is the opposite of what they need. Academics and grades are totally appropriate. They also don’t generally need adult-led “social emotional” lessons; but guidance on how to resolve the issues that come up.

I don't think it's babying them. Sure, you can ramp school work up a little bit, but don't forget that they're still kids.

But they are not kids any more. They are not adults, either, but neither are they kids like five years olds are. It's hard for parents to accept that and it's often hard for them to accept that. But treating them as kids is not helping them.

But, they are kids 11-14. You don't need to treat them like they're 3, but they should get to be kids. Have time to be kids, and do kid stuff. It's not like they stop being kids the second they start middle school. I dint know why adults expect that out of them. I'm glad adults didn't do that to me. Especially when I was only 11 and 12.

The stop being kids the moment they enter puberty (it's not the same moment for everyone which is a part of the problem). They are now more interested in adult stuff than kid stuff. Nobody is making them grow up - they want to, and it's natural.

I don't think it's all them actually. Outside influences are huge. Other kids, other adults and even parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MS is usually miserable for so many kids it makes me wonder why it even exists. Or what could be done, if anything to make it better.

I mean the concept of middle school is fairly recent. Elementaries used to go through 6th grade and then you either had a junior high (7-9th) and high school (10-12) or in rare cases a combined high school that was 7-12.

At some point they figured out that separating all the super hormonal kids at peak puberty from everyone else would at least make elementary school and high school a bit better. But I don't think they've ever really figured out how to make middle school better serve the needs of this age group. I think a lot of it has to do with our discomfort as a society with kids sexually maturing. But it's made worse by increased pressure on kids academically. So basically middle school kids are given too little support with puberty and hormonal changes but are simultaneously told that if they aren't smart and accomplished enough it will ruin their entire lives. It's a recipe for disaster.

I feel like we should approach middle school like early childhood education. With a different focus of course but the same idea -- major focus on life skills and socio-emotional learning and then wrap the academics up in that package. But basically no focus on grades -- just meeting academic and developmental benchmarks and acclimating to the increased expectations of high school.

Yikes no, it’s the opposite. MS kids are ready for challenges and independence. Babying them is the opposite of what they need. Academics and grades are totally appropriate. They also don’t generally need adult-led “social emotional” lessons; but guidance on how to resolve the issues that come up.

I don't think it's babying them. Sure, you can ramp school work up a little bit, but don't forget that they're still kids.

But they are not kids any more. They are not adults, either, but neither are they kids like five years olds are. It's hard for parents to accept that and it's often hard for them to accept that. But treating them as kids is not helping them.

But, they are kids 11-14. You don't need to treat them like they're 3, but they should get to be kids. Have time to be kids, and do kid stuff. It's not like they stop being kids the second they start middle school. I dint know why adults expect that out of them. I'm glad adults didn't do that to me. Especially when I was only 11 and 12.

The stop being kids the moment they enter puberty (it's not the same moment for everyone which is a part of the problem). They are now more interested in adult stuff than kid stuff. Nobody is making them grow up - they want to, and it's natural.

I don't think it's as simple as just puberty and hormones. Some kids start puberty early, like myself. There is no way I was done being a kid that early or would have wanted to be, I was 9. Even still, I'm not letting my kid get adult interests, puberty or not.

Not being interested in little kid things is not the same as wanting adult interests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MS is usually miserable for so many kids it makes me wonder why it even exists. Or what could be done, if anything to make it better.

I mean the concept of middle school is fairly recent. Elementaries used to go through 6th grade and then you either had a junior high (7-9th) and high school (10-12) or in rare cases a combined high school that was 7-12.

At some point they figured out that separating all the super hormonal kids at peak puberty from everyone else would at least make elementary school and high school a bit better. But I don't think they've ever really figured out how to make middle school better serve the needs of this age group. I think a lot of it has to do with our discomfort as a society with kids sexually maturing. But it's made worse by increased pressure on kids academically. So basically middle school kids are given too little support with puberty and hormonal changes but are simultaneously told that if they aren't smart and accomplished enough it will ruin their entire lives. It's a recipe for disaster.

I feel like we should approach middle school like early childhood education. With a different focus of course but the same idea -- major focus on life skills and socio-emotional learning and then wrap the academics up in that package. But basically no focus on grades -- just meeting academic and developmental benchmarks and acclimating to the increased expectations of high school.

Yikes no, it’s the opposite. MS kids are ready for challenges and independence. Babying them is the opposite of what they need. Academics and grades are totally appropriate. They also don’t generally need adult-led “social emotional” lessons; but guidance on how to resolve the issues that come up.

I don't think it's babying them. Sure, you can ramp school work up a little bit, but don't forget that they're still kids.

But they are not kids any more. They are not adults, either, but neither are they kids like five years olds are. It's hard for parents to accept that and it's often hard for them to accept that. But treating them as kids is not helping them.

But, they are kids 11-14. You don't need to treat them like they're 3, but they should get to be kids. Have time to be kids, and do kid stuff. It's not like they stop being kids the second they start middle school. I dint know why adults expect that out of them. I'm glad adults didn't do that to me. Especially when I was only 11 and 12.

The stop being kids the moment they enter puberty (it's not the same moment for everyone which is a part of the problem). They are now more interested in adult stuff than kid stuff. Nobody is making them grow up - they want to, and it's natural.

I don't think it's as simple as just puberty and hormones. Some kids start puberty early, like myself. There is no way I was done being a kid that early or would have wanted to be, I was 9. Even still, I'm not letting my kid get adult interests, puberty or not.

Not being interested in little kid things is not the same as wanting adult interests.

I was responding to the poster saying that they are getting into more adult things. I'm not saying treat them like babies, but let them be kids. Don't treat them like they're 16 either

[Anonymous]

I think most kids hate it. I hated it. My oldest says now it was great but she was miserable. I remember it very clearly. My youngest also hated it. The only one who liked it was my middle child but he went to a small private K-8 that was very supportive with the kindest group of kids so I think that helped a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MS is usually miserable for so many kids it makes me wonder why it even exists. Or what could be done, if anything to make it better.

I mean the concept of middle school is fairly recent. Elementaries used to go through 6th grade and then you either had a junior high (7-9th) and high school (10-12) or in rare cases a combined high school that was 7-12.

At some point they figured out that separating all the super hormonal kids at peak puberty from everyone else would at least make elementary school and high school a bit better. But I don't think they've ever really figured out how to make middle school better serve the needs of this age group. I think a lot of it has to do with our discomfort as a society with kids sexually maturing. But it's made worse by increased pressure on kids academically. So basically middle school kids are given too little support with puberty and hormonal changes but are simultaneously told that if they aren't smart and accomplished enough it will ruin their entire lives. It's a recipe for disaster.

I feel like we should approach middle school like early childhood education. With a different focus of course but the same idea -- major focus on life skills and socio-emotional learning and then wrap the academics up in that package. But basically no focus on grades -- just meeting academic and developmental benchmarks and acclimating to the increased expectations of high school.

Yikes no, it’s the opposite. MS kids are ready for challenges and independence. Babying them is the opposite of what they need. Academics and grades are totally appropriate. They also don’t generally need adult-led “social emotional” lessons; but guidance on how to resolve the issues that come up.

I don't think it's babying them. Sure, you can ramp school work up a little bit, but don't forget that they're still kids.

But they are not kids any more. They are not adults, either, but neither are they kids like five years olds are. It's hard for parents to accept that and it's often hard for them to accept that. But treating them as kids is not helping them.

But, they are kids 11-14. You don't need to treat them like they're 3, but they should get to be kids. Have time to be kids, and do kid stuff. It's not like they stop being kids the second they start middle school. I dint know why adults expect that out of them. I'm glad adults didn't do that to me. Especially when I was only 11 and 12.

The stop being kids the moment they enter puberty (it's not the same moment for everyone which is a part of the problem). They are now more interested in adult stuff than kid stuff. Nobody is making them grow up - they want to, and it's natural.

What interests and things do you think these kids should have/do then? If they arent kids anymore, would you stop your own MS kid from doing kid stuff if they wanted to?