Is middle school miserable for most kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MS is usually miserable for so many kids it makes me wonder why it even exists. Or what could be done, if anything to make it better.

My kid hd a very happy sixth grade year. That said, I much prefer the system I had in the Midwest in the 80s where sixth grade was elementary and 7-9 was junior high. 6th graders really are still children and should not be with eight graders.

Agree.

Avoids this sick dynamic of 5th and 6th graders trying to act like 8th graders.

Let it go, it is not “sick” for a 12 year old 6th grader to act more like a 14 year old 8th grader than a 10 year old 4th grader. Kids mature at different rates and this shaming that you are doing of kids that have outgrown ES interests by 6th grade is no better than shaming a 6th grader who hasn’t outgrown ES interests.

Weird, maybe the issue is holding back kids. My 14 year old was in 9th.

The cut off in this area is September 1 or September 30 depending on the district. Many kids are 14 for a lot of 8th grade. Mine turned 14 in October of 8th grade. Not held back, went to school on time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MS is usually miserable for so many kids it makes me wonder why it even exists. Or what could be done, if anything to make it better.

My kid hd a very happy sixth grade year. That said, I much prefer the system I had in the Midwest in the 80s where sixth grade was elementary and 7-9 was junior high. 6th graders really are still children and should not be with eight graders.

Agree.

Avoids this sick dynamic of 5th and 6th graders trying to act like 8th graders.

Let it go, it is not “sick” for a 12 year old 6th grader to act more like a 14 year old 8th grader than a 10 year old 4th grader. Kids mature at different rates and this shaming that you are doing of kids that have outgrown ES interests by 6th grade is no better than shaming a 6th grader who hasn’t outgrown ES interests.

Weird, maybe the issue is holding back kids. My 14 year old was in 9th.

The cut off in this area is September 1 or September 30 depending on the district. Many kids are 14 for a lot of 8th grade. Mine turned 14 in October of 8th grade. Not held back, went to school on time.

Yeah, I don't see why anyone is surprised by 14 year olds in 8th grade. Almost all of them turn 14 in the 8th grade school year, at least in Virginia. No clue what the cutoff is other places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MS is usually miserable for so many kids it makes me wonder why it even exists. Or what could be done, if anything to make it better.

I mean the concept of middle school is fairly recent. Elementaries used to go through 6th grade and then you either had a junior high (7-9th) and high school (10-12) or in rare cases a combined high school that was 7-12.

At some point they figured out that separating all the super hormonal kids at peak puberty from everyone else would at least make elementary school and high school a bit better. But I don't think they've ever really figured out how to make middle school better serve the needs of this age group. I think a lot of it has to do with our discomfort as a society with kids sexually maturing. But it's made worse by increased pressure on kids academically. So basically middle school kids are given too little support with puberty and hormonal changes but are simultaneously told that if they aren't smart and accomplished enough it will ruin their entire lives. It's a recipe for disaster.

I feel like we should approach middle school like early childhood education. With a different focus of course but the same idea -- major focus on life skills and socio-emotional learning and then wrap the academics up in that package. But basically no focus on grades -- just meeting academic and developmental benchmarks and acclimating to the increased expectations of high school.

Yikes no, it’s the opposite. MS kids are ready for challenges and independence. Babying them is the opposite of what they need. Academics and grades are totally appropriate. They also don’t generally need adult-led “social emotional” lessons; but guidance on how to resolve the issues that come up.

I don't think it's babying them. Sure, you can ramp school work up a little bit, but don't forget that they're still kids.

Maybe it’s just my experience with my tweens, but by 6th grade they were much closer developmentally to an 8th grader than to a 4th grader. It was also to their benefit to start to adjust to the independence that comes with MS. My kids enjoyed 6th grade much more than 5th grade. By 5th grade the same kids had been together for years and the drama was a lot.

I think that every kid is different. In 6th grade I still felt like a kid, also in 7th and 8th. Not at all saying the independence and freedom is at all a bad thing, it's not, but even the 7th and 8th graders are still kids and I think that they should be able to be.

But the thing is they are really not all still kids. This is why middle school sucks. Puberty timing varies WIDELY. And this age range is when it's most obvious and apparent. Some really do need more independence, more autonomy, and they're not interested in things that kids are interested in developmentally. And that's okay. Just like it's okay that some still look and act like "kids". I think there is no avoiding a wide disparity of where kids are in a group setting at this age. It's just a tough time.

Ok, so they're not kids anymore, what do you want them to be acting like? What do you want them to be doing?

Why the hostility? No one wants them to be acting like anything. However, the thing that naturally happens is they mature and their interests and senses of humor and how they interact with each other shifts. It's called growing up and it's okay that some of them get there sooner than others. Pretty normal stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MS is usually miserable for so many kids it makes me wonder why it even exists. Or what could be done, if anything to make it better.

I mean the concept of middle school is fairly recent. Elementaries used to go through 6th grade and then you either had a junior high (7-9th) and high school (10-12) or in rare cases a combined high school that was 7-12.

At some point they figured out that separating all the super hormonal kids at peak puberty from everyone else would at least make elementary school and high school a bit better. But I don't think they've ever really figured out how to make middle school better serve the needs of this age group. I think a lot of it has to do with our discomfort as a society with kids sexually maturing. But it's made worse by increased pressure on kids academically. So basically middle school kids are given too little support with puberty and hormonal changes but are simultaneously told that if they aren't smart and accomplished enough it will ruin their entire lives. It's a recipe for disaster.

I feel like we should approach middle school like early childhood education. With a different focus of course but the same idea -- major focus on life skills and socio-emotional learning and then wrap the academics up in that package. But basically no focus on grades -- just meeting academic and developmental benchmarks and acclimating to the increased expectations of high school.

Yikes no, it’s the opposite. MS kids are ready for challenges and independence. Babying them is the opposite of what they need. Academics and grades are totally appropriate. They also don’t generally need adult-led “social emotional” lessons; but guidance on how to resolve the issues that come up.

I don't think it's babying them. Sure, you can ramp school work up a little bit, but don't forget that they're still kids.

Maybe it’s just my experience with my tweens, but by 6th grade they were much closer developmentally to an 8th grader than to a 4th grader. It was also to their benefit to start to adjust to the independence that comes with MS. My kids enjoyed 6th grade much more than 5th grade. By 5th grade the same kids had been together for years and the drama was a lot.

I think that every kid is different. In 6th grade I still felt like a kid, also in 7th and 8th. Not at all saying the independence and freedom is at all a bad thing, it's not, but even the 7th and 8th graders are still kids and I think that they should be able to be.

But the thing is they are really not all still kids. This is why middle school sucks. Puberty timing varies WIDELY. And this age range is when it's most obvious and apparent. Some really do need more independence, more autonomy, and they're not interested in things that kids are interested in developmentally. And that's okay. Just like it's okay that some still look and act like "kids". I think there is no avoiding a wide disparity of where kids are in a group setting at this age. It's just a tough time.

Ok, so they're not kids anymore, what do you want them to be acting like? What do you want them to be doing?

Why the hostility? No one wants them to be acting like anything. However, the thing that naturally happens is they mature and their interests and senses of humor and how they interact with each other shifts. It's called growing up and it's okay that some of them get there sooner than others. Pretty normal stuff.

No hostility at all or at least I didn't mean it like that. It was just q question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boys sailed through MS but struggled socially in 9th-10th

My daughter had a tough time in MS but sailed thru HS

This is our experience so far. It was better for our son once he got to 11th grade. Our youngest daughter is currently still in MS and it’s been rough, nothing like our son’s experience. We hope it’s better for her in HS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MS is usually miserable for so many kids it makes me wonder why it even exists. Or what could be done, if anything to make it better.

I mean the concept of middle school is fairly recent. Elementaries used to go through 6th grade and then you either had a junior high (7-9th) and high school (10-12) or in rare cases a combined high school that was 7-12.

At some point they figured out that separating all the super hormonal kids at peak puberty from everyone else would at least make elementary school and high school a bit better. But I don't think they've ever really figured out how to make middle school better serve the needs of this age group. I think a lot of it has to do with our discomfort as a society with kids sexually maturing. But it's made worse by increased pressure on kids academically. So basically middle school kids are given too little support with puberty and hormonal changes but are simultaneously told that if they aren't smart and accomplished enough it will ruin their entire lives. It's a recipe for disaster.

I feel like we should approach middle school like early childhood education. With a different focus of course but the same idea -- major focus on life skills and socio-emotional learning and then wrap the academics up in that package. But basically no focus on grades -- just meeting academic and developmental benchmarks and acclimating to the increased expectations of high school.

Yikes no, it’s the opposite. MS kids are ready for challenges and independence. Babying them is the opposite of what they need. Academics and grades are totally appropriate. They also don’t generally need adult-led “social emotional” lessons; but guidance on how to resolve the issues that come up.

I don't think it's babying them. Sure, you can ramp school work up a little bit, but don't forget that they're still kids.

Maybe it’s just my experience with my tweens, but by 6th grade they were much closer developmentally to an 8th grader than to a 4th grader. It was also to their benefit to start to adjust to the independence that comes with MS. My kids enjoyed 6th grade much more than 5th grade. By 5th grade the same kids had been together for years and the drama was a lot.

I think that every kid is different. In 6th grade I still felt like a kid, also in 7th and 8th. Not at all saying the independence and freedom is at all a bad thing, it's not, but even the 7th and 8th graders are still kids and I think that they should be able to be.

But the thing is they are really not all still kids. This is why middle school sucks. Puberty timing varies WIDELY. And this age range is when it's most obvious and apparent. Some really do need more independence, more autonomy, and they're not interested in things that kids are interested in developmentally. And that's okay. Just like it's okay that some still look and act like "kids". I think there is no avoiding a wide disparity of where kids are in a group setting at this age. It's just a tough time.

Ok, so they're not kids anymore, what do you want them to be acting like? What do you want them to be doing?

Why the hostility? No one wants them to be acting like anything. However, the thing that naturally happens is they mature and their interests and senses of humor and how they interact with each other shifts. It's called growing up and it's okay that some of them get there sooner than others. Pretty normal stuff.

It's not like I'm trying to prevent my kid from growing up at all. I know it'll happen, actually they do some "teen" things already going out to the movies or local shops and things like that in addition to doing kid things. I don't want them to grow up too fast.

[Anonymous]

Depends. Mine loved middle school due to the environment. When they moved to a Catholic high school where fun goes to die, they didn't like it all.

[Anonymous]

Kid at k-8 LOVES middle school. Of course they complain about the homework, but they do it and are doing well. They have a great group of friends, minimal drama, and play sports for their school (which they love). We are not excited about navigating the HS application process because it’s so competitive, and frankly gross, but after watching our older DC go through hell in MS, we are just trying to enjoy watching our youngest thrive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes we are very rich and despite throwing lots of money at the problem and making sure the child appeared affluent it didn't help , this is public school

You ARE the problem.

[Anonymous]

It's sure as hell miserable for me with a DD 12 and DS 14!!!!

They were awesome younger. Ugh!

[Anonymous]

In FCPS, because of the early wake up time, 100% miserable. DD did fine socially and academically. High school should be a bit better.