Is middle school miserable for most kids

[Anonymous]

My older child had a rough time in middle and now much happier in high school. My current rising 8th grader also seems to be having a tough time all around. I don’t know if it is the school (Cooper) or just the age. My friends with kids at other schools also seem to have challenges as well.

[Anonymous]

I'd say most kids do. It's just not fun, kids are made to grow up too fast imo and it's just alot of work. Alot of kids face bullying that schools do nothing about.

[Anonymous]

It's the age and the environment. The more insecure, newly hormonal, body-changing, academically stressed kids you have in one place all day long together, the more the pot seethes.

[Anonymous]

I have three kids, and they were all miserable in different ways:

Kid #1: Dropped by friend group
Kid #2: 6th grade was pretty good, then COVID knocked out half of 7th and half of 8th. Struggled HORRIBLY with online school.
Kid #3: Better than the other two, but definitely some struggles with identity, trying to be cool, etc.

This seems pretty typical among my friends and acquaintances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's the age and the environment. The more insecure, newly hormonal, body-changing, academically stressed kids you have in one place all day long together, the more the pot seethes.

+1. When you think about it, it’s unnatural to stick all these kids together with limited interaction from adults or other age groups, at a time when they are going through big changes.

[Anonymous]

My kids did not have any issues in middle school. For me, it absolutely sucked. Totally depends on a number of things.

[Anonymous]

Yes we are very rich and despite throwing lots of money at the problem and making sure the child appeared affluent it didn't help , this is public school

[Anonymous]

Yes, generally it's a hard time to be a kid. My first kid who struggled socially quite a bit in 5th/6th actually did much better than I expected in 7th/8th because she locked in with a nice little friend group that was refreshingly kind and was protective against all the social drama. Second kid was doing okay and then covid hit in 7th so we don't know what would have happened otherwise but it basically pushed him outside a lot which was nice. My personal recollection of those years was it was just terribly uncomfortable so much of the time, and I think kids deal with that discomfort in all kinds of ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd say most kids do. It's just not fun, kids are made to grow up too fast imo and it's just alot of work. Alot of kids face bullying that schools do nothing about.

All of this.

[Anonymous]

My kid had a much better 6th than 5th. I think the academic piece can be boring because kids aren’t getting the kind of opportunities for self-direction they get later in HS. But socially doing great.

[Anonymous]

The key is to give your kid as much autonomy and room for growth as possible. I had a miserable 7th grade year - giant MS that I had to bus to, difficulty making new friends because we all got bused to different places. 8th grade we moved and I went to a smaller MS that all the kids walked or biked to, and I made a ton of friends right away because we could organize our own social lives after school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's the age and the environment. The more insecure, newly hormonal, body-changing, academically stressed kids you have in one place all day long together, the more the pot seethes.

+1 from a middle school teacher and parent of teens.

[Anonymous]

I don't know about most kids, and I don't know about miserable. I would say, in some ways, MS is a tough experience for many kids.

My DD entering 8th is absolutely thriving in a way she didn't in elementary. Elementary was okay, even 6th grade MS was fine. But in 7th? Loved her teachers, the kids in her classes, the groups of kids in the main ECs.... she was just so happy and refused to miss school. That's one kid, obvs, but I think many of her friends are relatively happy. And then plenty of kids have issues with school, on teams, and socially. It just depends on so many circumstances and probably luck.

I'm glad to hear HS has been a better experience for your kid! MS is definitely a weird time.

[Anonymous]

MS is usually miserable for so many kids it makes me wonder why it even exists. Or what could be done, if anything to make it better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MS is usually miserable for so many kids it makes me wonder why it even exists. Or what could be done, if anything to make it better.

My kid hd a very happy sixth grade year. That said, I much prefer the system I had in the Midwest in the 80s where sixth grade was elementary and 7-9 was junior high. 6th graders really are still children and should not be with eight graders.