“Not a sign of good breeding”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is the striving bourgeoisie who desperately seeks to judge others on their breeding, or lack thereof.

The poor and aristocrats don't care. The former because they believe they will never arrive, and the latter because their ancestors already secured their place for them. The middle classes are the ones who face the strongest social pressures and the most incentive to signal their belonging to desired groups.

- European aristocrat. My family would never think to judge you or anyone else on such ridiculous details as personal habits, casual remarks or clothing choices, OP. They will always be courteous no matter what.

Why, oh why, is everyone "European" always so coy about the actual country? Do you think we'll instantly know who you are if say you're Lithuanian or Danish or Greek or whatever? It's really annoying, almost as if none of you know that Europe is a continent with 40+ countries

I've never someone say "I'm from South America", it's generally always I'm Colombian, Peruvian, Brazilian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Today I learned that saying something like “I am going to order the eggs Benedict rather than the French toast because I can make French toast at home” marks me as someone who is ill-bred. I had no idea!

Wondering what other faux pas I commit on a regular basis. Someone please enlighten me! What other ideas, phrases and practices give me away as someone who was raised poor?

You want some good breeding? Call me. <wink> <wink>

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is the striving bourgeoisie who desperately seeks to judge others on their breeding, or lack thereof.

The poor and aristocrats don't care. The former because they believe they will never arrive, and the latter because their ancestors already secured their place for them. The middle classes are the ones who face the strongest social pressures and the most incentive to signal their belonging to desired groups.

- European aristocrat. My family would never think to judge you or anyone else on such ridiculous details as personal habits, casual remarks or clothing choices, OP. They will always be courteous no matter what.

Why, oh why, is everyone "European" always so coy about the actual country? Do you think we'll instantly know who you are if say you're Lithuanian or Danish or Greek or whatever? It's really annoying, almost as if none of you know that Europe is a continent with 40+ countries

I've never someone say "I'm from South America", it's generally always I'm Colombian, Peruvian, Brazilian.

I mean, it also sounds weird to say "I'm from North America" instead of Canada, the US or Mexico.

[Anonymous]

Smoking
Too many tattoos
Too many earrings
Poor grammar
Bad manners

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is the striving bourgeoisie who desperately seeks to judge others on their breeding, or lack thereof.

The poor and aristocrats don't care. The former because they believe they will never arrive, and the latter because their ancestors already secured their place for them. The middle classes are the ones who face the strongest social pressures and the most incentive to signal their belonging to desired groups.

- European aristocrat. My family would never think to judge you or anyone else on such ridiculous details as personal habits, casual remarks or clothing choices, OP. They will always be courteous no matter what.

'Princess Margaret never ate “scrambled eggs,” only “buttered eggs.” When creating a seating plan, she would never say “placement” — “Placement is what maids have when they are engaged in a household!” Margaret insisted on the French place à table instead.'

https://www.vox.com/culture/2018/8/14/17674868/ninety-nine-glimpses-of-princess-margaret-craig-brown-review

But the Saxe-Coburg-Gothas were always a bit insecure about their arriviste status.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Going to Ocean City MD for vacation.

Or Virginia Beach.

Unless you’re an old money Richmond-bred type, in which case the north end of Va Beach or Sandbridge are acceptable. But never, ever OBX.

Otherwise, talking about money or how much something costs is a dead giveaway.

I am the OP and I am actually serious. On this forum I have learned that complimenting someone’s home when you visit is considered tacky. That kind of stuff. I had no idea! I mean I know enough not to buy a truck but am genuinely curious about what more subtle things I am doing that blow my cover when I try to pass as someone raised middle or upper class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Going to Ocean City MD for vacation.

Or Virginia Beach.

Unless you’re an old money Richmond-bred type, in which case the north end of Va Beach or Sandbridge are acceptable. But never, ever OBX.

Otherwise, talking about money or how much something costs is a dead giveaway.

I am the OP and I am actually serious. On this forum I have learned that complimenting someone’s home when you visit is considered tacky. That kind of stuff. I had no idea! I mean I know enough not to buy a truck but am genuinely curious about what more subtle things I am doing that blow my cover when I try to pass as someone raised middle or upper class.

I have never heard this. I thought saying something positive and sincere was the right thing to do! And all this time people thought "wow, what a peasant" when I did it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Going to Ocean City MD for vacation.

lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Successful people laugh at well-bred people clinging desperately to their parents’ status like toddlers.

+1 And they are boring

[Anonymous]

Hi OP,
Here’s a hilarious video that speaks to what you’re talking about. It’s a British spoof about teaching the working class how to pass as UK middle class (more like our UMC). There are American parallels.

The narrator says something like, “I’m teaching working class people about the invisible things that give them away and hold them back from opportunities.”…As she points to a plate of avacado toast, “Don’t say how much or I could make better at home!”
It’s so funny, in part because it’s a bit true.

https://youtu.be/jbt2-Xzlf2k

[Anonymous]

I was told my an old money boyfriend thirty years ago to “make sure I didn’t dip anything” - like bread in sauce or whatever- in front of his grandmother or she’s consider me low class.

I remember being so shocked. I’m Italian. We dip. Apparently, Ill bred

[Anonymous]

I pretty sure I'm a pure-bread. Between my backside and belly I'm starting to look like the Pillsbury Doughboy. I'm certain my la-di-da neighbor is disapproving.

[Anonymous]

OMG, I was the person who said "good breeding" in that other discussion, and I was being facetious. Don't take things so literally.

You (or I) can never fully learn all the rules, just stop worrying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of times it shows up in physical ailments like deafness, blindness, and hip dysplasia, or psycho-emotional issues like aggression, anxiety, or stupidity.

Genetic diversity is really important, which is why I really stay away from purebreds.

Hip displasia, and if British genes are involved, a class 2 overbite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good breeding means you don’t have the Habsburg jaw.

So true!

That jaw is EXPENSIVE to correct and can only be helped so much…