I am sad for DD--this past weekend

[Anonymous]

VV is a big deal for the local teenagers and having someone to go with is key. Sure the siblings could have gone together but that's not really the point, is it?

Being inclusive means, at the very least being aware. I teach my kids to make sure their friends know they can join them in an activity like Viva Vienna. So while DD didn't go with each one of her friends, she made sure that her friends who wanted to go, felt included/invited to her plans. Unlike birthday parties or sleepovers or home parties or activities that require rides, Viva Vienna lends itself to the "more the merrier" type inclusivity.

[Anonymous]

DD went to Viva Vienna but she didn't go with a good friend. In fact, I have my doubts that good friend would have even checked with DD to see if she wanted to join her. That's where parents could and should step in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD went to Viva Vienna but she didn't go with a good friend. In fact, I have my doubts that good friend would have even checked with DD to see if she wanted to join her. That's where parents could and should step in.

So in this case, what makes the friend a "good" friend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sure was a low brow teen crowd there this weekend. The girls were barely clothed. SMH.

Stop the misogynistic body shaming. And you sound pathetically unaware of contemporary fashion/culture.

Not pp, but the stuff girls wear is in appropriate. Do you wear things with your stomach or behind sticking out at work??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD went to Viva Vienna but she didn't go with a good friend. In fact, I have my doubts that good friend would have even checked with DD to see if she wanted to join her. That's where parents could and should step in.

Where and how exactly are the parents supposed to step in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD went to Viva Vienna but she didn't go with a good friend. In fact, I have my doubts that good friend would have even checked with DD to see if she wanted to join her. That's where parents could and should step in.

So in this case, what makes the friend a "good" friend?

To this specific case, Good Friend hasn't been taught by parents to mesh her social circles. So each friend is in a compartment. Sad really because DD knows her other friend but for whatever reason Good Friend does something with X or does something with Y. Never shall the two mesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD went to Viva Vienna but she didn't go with a good friend. In fact, I have my doubts that good friend would have even checked with DD to see if she wanted to join her. That's where parents could and should step in.

With an 8 year old? Sure. With a 13 year old? Nope. Let them figure it out. That’s way too old to “step in.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD went to Viva Vienna but she didn't go with a good friend. In fact, I have my doubts that good friend would have even checked with DD to see if she wanted to join her. That's where parents could and should step in.

So in this case, what makes the friend a "good" friend?

To this specific case, Good Friend hasn't been taught by parents to mesh her social circles. So each friend is in a compartment. Sad really because DD knows her other friend but for whatever reason Good Friend does something with X or does something with Y. Never shall the two mesh.

There are lots of reasons people don’t mesh completely separate friend circles, it doesn’t make someone a bad friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sure was a low brow teen crowd there this weekend. The girls were barely clothed. SMH.

Stop the misogynistic body shaming. And you sound pathetically unaware of contemporary fashion/culture.

Not pp, but the stuff girls wear is in appropriate. Do you wear things with your stomach or behind sticking out at work??

Viva Vienna isn't work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why kids shouldn't have social media. You sound very immature if you are sad about this.

It’s understandable to feel upset. They reached out to friends, and friends couldn’t be bothered to respond back.

To say what? They already have plans with someone else to go? I don’t think that would make the kid feel any better.

I wouldn’t want a pity invite. I’d rather none at all and make my own plans

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD went to Viva Vienna but she didn't go with a good friend. In fact, I have my doubts that good friend would have even checked with DD to see if she wanted to join her. That's where parents could and should step in.

So in this case, what makes the friend a "good" friend?

To this specific case, Good Friend hasn't been taught by parents to mesh her social circles. So each friend is in a compartment. Sad really because DD knows her other friend but for whatever reason Good Friend does something with X or does something with Y. Never shall the two mesh.

There are lots of reasons people don’t mesh completely separate friend circles, it doesn’t make someone a bad friend.

+1
Why does anyone need to be taught to mesh any social circles?
Man this forced inclusivity has to stop. People are allowed to make choices. Even if someone else gets left out.

[Anonymous]

Another Vienna parent here whose kids didn’t go. I have a 13 yo who thought about it and at the last minute said she wasn’t. There’s been a lot of drama in middle school this year so I know that was part of avoiding it all. Viva Vienna is a lot of social pressure and stressful for them. Also a surprise was my 16 yo, who also didn’t go. They talked about it with a friend for a few days and decided they were too old to go, but then drove by many times looking to see if they knew anyone there and likely wishing they had just went. I have dreaded this weekend for years now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why kids shouldn't have social media. You sound very immature if you are sad about this.

It’s understandable to feel upset. They reached out to friends, and friends couldn’t be bothered to respond back.

To say what? They already have plans with someone else to go? I don’t think that would make the kid feel any better.

I wouldn’t want a pity invite. I’d rather none at all and make my own plans

I don't think it's hard to say "Hey, sorry but I already made plans with X"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD went to Viva Vienna but she didn't go with a good friend. In fact, I have my doubts that good friend would have even checked with DD to see if she wanted to join her. That's where parents could and should step in.

So in this case, what makes the friend a "good" friend?

To this specific case, Good Friend hasn't been taught by parents to mesh her social circles. So each friend is in a compartment. Sad really because DD knows her other friend but for whatever reason Good Friend does something with X or does something with Y. Never shall the two mesh.

There are lots of reasons people don’t mesh completely separate friend circles, it doesn’t make someone a bad friend.

+1
Why does anyone need to be taught to mesh any social circles?
Man this forced inclusivity has to stop. People are allowed to make choices. Even if someone else gets left out.

+2
DD is careful not to mesh social circles because when one has drama, she likes to be able to shift to another. In her mind, the less overlap the better

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another Vienna parent here whose kids didn’t go. I have a 13 yo who thought about it and at the last minute said she wasn’t. There’s been a lot of drama in middle school this year so I know that was part of avoiding it all. Viva Vienna is a lot of social pressure and stressful for them. Also a surprise was my 16 yo, who also didn’t go. They talked about it with a friend for a few days and decided they were too old to go, but then drove by many times looking to see if they knew anyone there and likely wishing they had just went. I have dreaded this weekend for years now.

+1. Viva Vienna is only fun for some and AWFUL for others.