Estrangement from parents causing them to reach out more in really weird and surface-level ways?

[Anonymous]

OP, they are not acting out in weird ways. They are trying rapprochement. You are the difficult party here. grow up and try to repair this FOR YOUR CHILDREN!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your mention of cops makes me think you’re not a reasonable actor here, OP.

A lot of us are, or have been, estranged from our parents. We did it the grown up way, by ignoring attempts to reconnect. You can block their email addresses and phone numbers if you wish.

But again… reaching out every week is nowhere near police involvement. So you’re crazy too, apparently.

Exactly. They have a new grandchild. They aren’t guilt tripping op or rehashing old wounds. They are taking superficial steps as op calls them to see if there is a way to mend things. Maybe there isn’t, and OP needs to be explicit and tell them if she doesn’t want any more contact for the rest of her life. I would reserve this for instances of physical and sexual abuse. Not “they told me they were going to leave me money and I found out they left the money to the cat.”

[Anonymous]

Blocked phones don’t ring, and don’t receive texts.

Unopened letters don’t get read.

[Anonymous]

What was the lie?

[Anonymous]

I thought people grew up after having children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The cops? Grow up, OP.

You sound unhinged OP. You're not helping your credibility by suggesting the police will deal with an unwelcome Valentine's day card to a grandchild.

[Anonymous]

Why are you acting like Nov 2023 was a really long time ago? So you've been "estranged" about 3 months. And you just had a baby, like yesterday, if you were 7 months pregnant then. Do you really want your baby to grow up with no grandparents? Pregnancy is a stressful time and having a newborn is stressful. Maybe you're just not thinking very clearly or making good decisions. Calling the cops on your parents for attempting to reach you is insane.

[Anonymous]

So you pushed your parents away when you were pregnant and are now freaking out about their attempts to contact you as a post-partum mother?

I think you need to ask yourself whether hormonal involvement is affecting your sense of proportion. Progesterone and estrogen are sky high before giving birth and crash right after. This triggers post partum depression in some mothers, but also other types of psychiatric issues, like paranoia.

Talk to your doctor about your state of mind. This could devolve very quickly, and your husband seems clueless.

[Anonymous]

OP I was feeling sorry for you, I really was. Then you said you were thinking of calling the Cops on your parents. You lost me. You said you are a recent Mom. I'm sure you have all kinds of hormones going on which is not helping with the situation with your parents. Breathe and really think about what is that you want out of the relationship. Also, I would recommend you speak with a non biased professional.

[Anonymous]

They are probably trying to be hallmark card because they don't know you'll see it that way. You need to be clear what you need from them - an open acknowledgement and apology. They may think this would dredge things up you'd rather not. They may think you'd rather hear that in person or live. I am a mom with kids just a few years ahead of yours, so not a grandparent, and I don't have easy relationships with the grandparents of my children, so not biased by that, but even I think not letting them see their grandchild is unspeakably cruel if they are trying to reach out. You are being emotionally immature. Grow up and give your child a sliver of opportunity to have a relationship with their grandparents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How dramatic. But you like that, don't you?

+1. I feel like we've heard this story before.

OP, if you really don't want contact, then you have to go no contact. As it is now, you're entertaining the idea of contact but are doing the whole, no, that contact isn't right. No, not that either. You've got this idea in your head of what they have to do to get back in your good graces, but I don't think you actually know what it is, which is why you are still opening the letters, receiving the texts, and obsessing over it with your husband (who seems to be feeding into the drama?), hoping that some magical thing will happen.

Well, that's not reality. Go to therapy and focus on whether/why you want to cut them off, or better yet, focus on healthy boundaries and perhaps meeting flawed people where they are if that's possible for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are probably trying to be hallmark card because they don't know you'll see it that way. You need to be clear what you need from them - an open acknowledgement and apology. They may think this would dredge things up you'd rather not. They may think you'd rather hear that in person or live. I am a mom with kids just a few years ahead of yours, so not a grandparent, and I don't have easy relationships with the grandparents of my children, so not biased by that, but even I think not letting them see their grandchild is unspeakably cruel if they are trying to reach out. You are being emotionally immature. Grow up and give your child a sliver of opportunity to have a relationship with their grandparents.

Honestly if the OP is planning on calling the cops, I think it's fine for the parents to just apologize generally for any past wrongs and move on. Why would someone want to hash out old wounds with someone ready to litigate at a moment's notice?

[Anonymous]

I think the problem is you and your DH, OP. You both are brats and selfish people,

But, you were raised by your parents and so I am sure they suck too. The worst thing in all of this is that you actually gave birth to an innocent human being who will be first tortured by you and later become you.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a trashy family all round.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the problem is you and your DH, OP. You both are brats and selfish people,

But, you were raised by your parents and so I am sure they suck too. The worst thing in all of this is that you actually gave birth to an innocent human being who will be first tortured by you and later become you.

DP. Give them a break, they’re first time parents and post partum. Emotionally labile, not sleeping for weeks will make you a little crazy.

I had terrible abusive parents but worked really hard not to become them. I have an amazing kid and am so grateful for that and the relationship I am able to have with him.

I think a lot of the insulting responders have never had kids or have forgotten what post partum feels like or just feel like piling on. Hope you feel better now.