Friendly gesture or inappropriate?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
Are you a needy person OP?
Predators sniff that out fast. |
Anonymous
| As a man I might touch a woman’s arm but thigh…..hell no. Plenty of women have touched my arm and I think nothing of it. If I was getting divorced any conversations I have with a married woman would purely be about kid logistics and not about my feelings. That’s step one of an EA. |
Anonymous
Why dont you ask your husband what he thinks about this encounter? 
|
Anonymous
| Absolutely inappropriate. |
Anonymous
|
https://www.tiktok.com/@matrixizreal720/video/7147326439145229610
Puts me at risk of being the baby thigh poster. 😅😅😅 (well worth it) |
Anonymous
+1 Welp, now you know why that other guy is divorced, and has no problem trying to blow up another family, OP! |
Anonymous
My husband would just say stay away from him and he’d likely take my place at the next travel team event. |
Anonymous
This is my first thought. He sounds like a loser, OP. Distance yourself. Yesterday. |
Anonymous
| Highly inappropriate. You need to be firm and tell him to knock it off. |
Anonymous
|
Older than most on this board, and as the old woman, chiming in to say yes, this was inappropriate in a big way. He may never do it again; he may have had too much to drink (which is NOT an excuse but only an explanation); he may even not think of it as hitting on you, may be a touchy-feely-huggy guy ....BUT it's still a red flag. A worse one, too, because he'd already made you into an emotional confidante about his divorce, OP. He's not your old friend. He's a parent you really only know through your kid. His making you into a confidante on whom he can pour thoughts and feelings about his divorce was inappropriate even before the thigh touching. Do not be where you're alone with him, and "alone" includes conversations at the sidelines of the kids' activity or conversations in restaurants where the group's there but he's trying to chat to you in asides. Keep your kid and his kid friends, because the kid likely needs support and friendship amid the divorce, but arrange any meet-ups through the mom. Tell your DH what happened, for sure, if you have not already. Keep it direct and simple and note that the guy has been talking about the divorce and that this blindsided you. Tell DH (before he can ask it) that you are not going to listen to any more of the guy's divorce talk and will have DH do more of the activity stuff with your child. Note that if other parents at the travel event saw this guy touch you, it may get back to your DH and you want him to hear if from you, not from someone else. |
Anonymous
"Would say"? You mean you haven't told him? That's incredibly foolish, OP. You need to tell him, or if he hears about it another way, he may misconstrue your role here, OP. Even if your DH is a great guy and not the suspicious type at all, why not tell him and let him take your place at the next travel team event? That needs to happen anyway. Sends a signal to the guy that the touch was not welcome, your DH knows, and all the chats with you about his divorce are over. It also may send a needed signal to other parents there that, if they saw this encounter, it was not an encouraged or welcomed one. |
Anonymous
| OP here - the above reply was not me but wow, hearing you all loud and clear. I did get out of the conversation/move away shortly after this happened but did not say or do anything directly when it happened. I think I was a little taken aback and just ignored it. It ran through my mind that someone might have observed the interaction and gotten the wrong idea and I did feel a little embarrassed/self-conscious. So I guess my gut was telling me it was crossing a line. I have not said anything to my DH because I didn’t want to blow anything out of proportion, plus our kids are good friends and I wouldn’t want to interfere with that in any way. I guess just avoiding any unnecessary interactions is the best bet. Thanks for the wake up call. |
Anonymous
And to pull this at a team parents event? In front of all the other parents? With the kids nearby? Beyond gross. Stop defending him, OP. I think part of you liked his confiding. Get that connection from DH or friends or family. |
Anonymous
I'd say something to DH, OP, he may hear about it from someone else who was there. Your kids can still be friends, make plans with the mom. |
Anonymous
|
People who are going through extreme stress do things that are out of character. Lots on internet about it
there is a even something called affection displacement (Lool up exact term) when there is a loss . |