Friendly gesture or inappropriate?

[Anonymous]

Definitely he is testing the waters.

There is an episode of The Office where Toby, who has gently had a crush on Pam for years, makes a lame joke and while laughing, pats her thigh. The entire office sees, and it is crickets, as everyone awkwardly stares. Because no man ever puts his hand on a woman’s thigh in a friendly way. Toby is so mortified, and no one says anything for several seconds, so that he ultimately runs out of the room, hops the fence, and leaves the show for six months - all in shame for the thigh touch.

That’s how non ambiguous a thigh tap is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um, no. Not a friendly gesture. How many acquaintances thighs have you touched?

This. I have never accidentally touched someone’s thigh.

Never have I ever! I stared at a man’s crotch far too long while waiting for the elevator once. Thanks for listening.

[Anonymous]

I’m the poster whose friend’s husband put his hand on my ass (when I was making a condolence visit to their home). It wasn’t “friendly” and neither is this. Best you can say is this guy is off the rails and making judgment errors while divorcing; worst is that this is germane to the reason he’s being divorced.

[Anonymous]

Making judgment errors during divorce is a thing.

[Anonymous]

I think it entirely depends. You guys were drinking, if you were joking around and laughed and he touched the outside of your thigh very briefly like an "oh my god this happened to me too I'm cracking up" kind of thing, it could just be he was feeling comfortable and it's mostly innocuous. Maybe he subconsciously does like you. I doubt it was some intentional test. If it didn't immediately make you clam up and excuse yourself from the convo, then it probably wasn't weird or awkward. We didn't see it, we don't know.

[Anonymous]

It’s obvious he is hitting on you and looking for a discreet relationship. The fact that you have the slightest question says a lot about you. To put it to rest, you should sleep with him just ONCE and then see how you feel. Be super careful not to get pregnant, obviously. If it feels yucky, then keep your distance going forward. But if you feel comfortable with him, then proceed with caution but keep it going under the radar as long as it works for both of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s obvious he is hitting on you and looking for a discreet relationship. The fact that you have the slightest question says a lot about you. To put it to rest, you should sleep with him just ONCE and then see how you feel. Be super careful not to get pregnant, obviously. If it feels yucky, then keep your distance going forward. But if you feel comfortable with him, then proceed with caution but keep it going under the radar as long as it works for both of you.

This post says a lot about you, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s obvious he is hitting on you and looking for a discreet relationship. The fact that you have the slightest question says a lot about you. To put it to rest, you should sleep with him just ONCE and then see how you feel. Be super careful not to get pregnant, obviously. If it feels yucky, then keep your distance going forward. But if you feel comfortable with him, then proceed with caution but keep it going under the radar as long as it works for both of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my DD’s friends’ parents are going through a divorce and the dad has opened up to me about it (he is the parent more often at games etc and we text to make kids’ plans). I was glad he shared since our kids spend time together and it explains some stuff that had been going on. Recently we had to travel for a tournament and all the parents tend to gather for dinner/drinks at the hotel while the kids eat and do their thing. He got talking about everything again and casually touched my thigh a couple times while we were talking. It made me a little uncomfortable but he tends to just be a friendly guy and I’m sure didn’t mean anything by it but I did find a way to get out of the conversation and move on to talking to others. Was this weird or just harmless/friendly? Maybe he wasn’t even aware he was doing it? I doubt there were any intentions but want to make sure I’m not sending any mixed signals. I’m married BTW.

Having a similar experienced with father at kid's sports events. We have had a couple of friendly chats that sort of progressed to "philosophy" of life and what it all means. Anytime I make a point he agrees with, or thinks is really interesting, he reaches out and taps the top of my head. Just a little tap, as in bing!, on the center of the top of my head. And anytime he makes a point that he thinks is really good, as in "right?!" he taps his own head. The problem is last weekend, I reached across and tapped the top if his head when he made a good point about choices in life. Was it wrong to do so?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my DD’s friends’ parents are going through a divorce and the dad has opened up to me about it (he is the parent more often at games etc and we text to make kids’ plans). I was glad he shared since our kids spend time together and it explains some stuff that had been going on. Recently we had to travel for a tournament and all the parents tend to gather for dinner/drinks at the hotel while the kids eat and do their thing. He got talking about everything again and casually touched my thigh a couple times while we were talking. It made me a little uncomfortable but he tends to just be a friendly guy and I’m sure didn’t mean anything by it but I did find a way to get out of the conversation and move on to talking to others. Was this weird or just harmless/friendly? Maybe he wasn’t even aware he was doing it? I doubt there were any intentions but want to make sure I’m not sending any mixed signals. I’m married BTW.

Having a similar experienced with father at kid's sports events. We have had a couple of friendly chats that sort of progressed to "philosophy" of life and what it all means. Anytime I make a point he agrees with, or thinks is really interesting, he reaches out and taps the top of my head. Just a little tap, as in bing!, on the center of the top of my head. And anytime he makes a point that he thinks is really good, as in "right?!" he taps his own head. The problem is last weekend, I reached across and tapped the top if his head when he made a good point about choices in life. Was it wrong to do so?

Tapping the top of someone ‘s head feels like the opposite of sexy

[Anonymous]

Seems infantalizing, or something like patting an obedient dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For what it’s worth: I am a man, and touching a woman’s thigh is almost guaranteed to been done with sexual intent.

Whether it’s inappropriate or not is up to you. It’s your thigh.

Woman here. If I am sitting next to someone, male or female, I would not think much of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s obvious he is hitting on you and looking for a discreet relationship. The fact that you have the slightest question says a lot about you. To put it to rest, you should sleep with him just ONCE and then see how you feel. Be super careful not to get pregnant, obviously. If it feels yucky, then keep your distance going forward. But if you feel comfortable with him, then proceed with caution but keep it going under the radar as long as it works for both of you.

This post says a lot about you, PP.

+1
This is awful advice. This guy is obviously horny for some action and if you sleep with him once, he is not going to go away. Plus, if your own husband finds out he will be pissed at you.

[Anonymous]

Op, how hot are you? Be honest. That will make pretty clear what his intentions are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s obvious he is hitting on you and looking for a discreet relationship. The fact that you have the slightest question says a lot about you. To put it to rest, you should sleep with him just ONCE and then see how you feel. Be super careful not to get pregnant, obviously. If it feels yucky, then keep your distance going forward. But if you feel comfortable with him, then proceed with caution but keep it going under the radar as long as it works for both of you.

This post says a lot about you, PP.

+1
This is awful advice. This guy is obviously horny for some action and if you sleep with him once, he is not going to go away. Plus, if your own husband finds out he will be pissed at you.

I had assumed PP was making a joke. This thread has been boring. We all agree!