Friendly gesture or inappropriate?

[Anonymous]

Nope right out. Don't dismiss these signs because it will escalate and you'll feel shamed for not having seen the obvious. Try as best as you can to avoid any further contact, be busy all the time or send your dh in your place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my DD’s friends’ parents are going through a divorce and the dad has opened up to me about it (he is the parent more often at games etc and we text to make kids’ plans). I was glad he shared since our kids spend time together and it explains some stuff that had been going on. Recently we had to travel for a tournament and all the parents tend to gather for dinner/drinks at the hotel while the kids eat and do their thing. He got talking about everything again and casually touched my thigh a couple times while we were talking. It made me a little uncomfortable but he tends to just be a friendly guy and I’m sure didn’t mean anything by it but I did find a way to get out of the conversation and move on to talking to others. Was this weird or just harmless/friendly? Maybe he wasn’t even aware he was doing it? I doubt there were any intentions but want to make sure I’m not sending any mixed signals. I’m married BTW.

Yeah right.

You shut that sht down right way by getting up and moving away.
Keep things civil and out of contrived situations (sitting too close to him, inviting him in at night, too much alone time wo kids or other adults), and that stuff will not happen. Not with him, not at work, not watching games, not at BBqs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope right out. Don't dismiss these signs because it will escalate and you'll feel shamed for not having seen the obvious. Try as best as you can to avoid any further contact, be busy all the time or send your dh in your place.

Some people are good at being “unapproachable” in that way and others send the opposite vibe.

Don’t be an idiot OP.

I know very hot married women who always make sure to weave in a story or two about their husband or bounce up to get a drink when cornered or don’t take the bait for a nightcap or meeting in the hot tub.

Don’t be dense.

[Anonymous]

Inappropriate. I've seen this with men going through a divorce - they start inappropriately touching women and act like it's friendly. They never seem to notice it makes people uncomfortable. I'd have said to him, "Stop touching my leg." and swept his hand away.

[Anonymous]

Playing dumb works well too.
But no, you don’t sit there and let someone touch your thigh multiple times or give you a back rub or have an emotional relationship conversation. Thats just a test. And you failed or are a Troll.

[Anonymous]

Touching your thing "inadvertently"? Who does that? Are you dense, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my DD’s friends’ parents are going through a divorce and the dad has opened up to me about it (he is the parent more often at games etc and we text to make kids’ plans). I was glad he shared since our kids spend time together and it explains some stuff that had been going on. Recently we had to travel for a tournament and all the parents tend to gather for dinner/drinks at the hotel while the kids eat and do their thing. He got talking about everything again and casually touched my thigh a couple times while we were talking. It made me a little uncomfortable but he tends to just be a friendly guy and I’m sure didn’t mean anything by it but I did find a way to get out of the conversation and move on to talking to others. Was this weird or just harmless/friendly? Maybe he wasn’t even aware he was doing it? I doubt there were any intentions but want to make sure I’m not sending any mixed signals. I’m married BTW.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWW! That's so skeevy. Trying to overshare into a trauma bond to get laid by a fellow parent at a kids event?

Gross. So gross. What the trashy fsck?!!

[Anonymous]

Totally a huge No!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my DD’s friends’ parents are going through a divorce and the dad has opened up to me about it (he is the parent more often at games etc and we text to make kids’ plans). I was glad he shared since our kids spend time together and it explains some stuff that had been going on. Recently we had to travel for a tournament and all the parents tend to gather for dinner/drinks at the hotel while the kids eat and do their thing. He got talking about everything again and casually touched my thigh a couple times while we were talking. It made me a little uncomfortable but he tends to just be a friendly guy and I’m sure didn’t mean anything by it but I did find a way to get out of the conversation and move on to talking to others. Was this weird or just harmless/friendly? Maybe he wasn’t even aware he was doing it? I doubt there were any intentions but want to make sure I’m not sending any mixed signals. I’m married BTW.

Yeah right.

You shut that sht down right way by getting up and moving away.
Keep things civil and out of contrived situations (sitting too close to him, inviting him in at night, too much alone time wo kids or other adults), and that stuff will not happen. Not with him, not at work, not watching games, not at BBqs.

I do wonder about why people react the way they do in certain situations. OP, if the thigh touching made you uncomfortable, why no steps to stop it? Even easy ones; moving away, going to the bathroom, calling over to another parent.

I genuinely ask - as a younger women, I was always so nervous to speak up, change direction of conversation. But now that I have daughters, how could I still let that stuff go on?

[Anonymous]

He touched your thigh?

That’s technically sexual assault, OP.

How old are you?

I would distance myself quickly from this person. He sounds like trouble, and being willing to risk his kid’s friendship over this, he’s a selfish drama seeker, too.

[Anonymous]

Touching a thigh is not just "friendly." You are probably going to need to shut it down. Ugh, I'm sorry -- so awkward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Umm no - arm or shoulder fine. Thigh is too much in my mind.

Touching another adult without consent is not cool. This isn’t Italy. Keep your dirty paws to yourself and welcome to America.

[Anonymous]

If you touch someone once and you say, oops, or oh sorry about that, then it's accidental.

If you do it repeatedly and don't say anything, yeah, it's weird.

[Anonymous]

No. Just no - not appropriate

- a guy.

[Anonymous]

I love when we all agree on something! I love you guys (appropriately, from a distance)!