Friendly gesture or inappropriate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why dont you ask your husband what he thinks about this encounter?

My husband would just say stay away from him and he’d likely take my place at the next travel team event.

"Would say"? You mean you haven't told him? That's incredibly foolish, OP.

You need to tell him, or if he hears about it another way, he may misconstrue your role here, OP.

Even if your DH is a great guy and not the suspicious type at all, why not tell him and let him take your place at the next travel team event? That needs to happen anyway. Sends a signal to the guy that the touch was not welcome, your DH knows, and all the chats with you about his divorce are over. It also may send a needed signal to other parents there that, if they saw this encounter, it was not an encouraged or welcomed one.

All of this! OP, your DH has to hear about this from you first. Why are you being so weird about this guy? A bunch of parents saw all this go down so it was not some secret moment. Do you have any insight into your reactions? Why you liked the confiding, why you are not telling DH, any of it?

[Anonymous]

He was testing the waters to see if you were dtf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my DD’s friends’ parents are going through a divorce and the dad has opened up to me about it (he is the parent more often at games etc and we text to make kids’ plans). I was glad he shared since our kids spend time together and it explains some stuff that had been going on. Recently we had to travel for a tournament and all the parents tend to gather for dinner/drinks at the hotel while the kids eat and do their thing. He got talking about everything again and casually touched my thigh a couple times while we were talking. It made me a little uncomfortable but he tends to just be a friendly guy and I’m sure didn’t mean anything by it but I did find a way to get out of the conversation and move on to talking to others. Was this weird or just harmless/friendly? Maybe he wasn’t even aware he was doing it? I doubt there were any intentions but want to make sure I’m not sending any mixed signals. I’m married BTW.

OP, you can be sure that your intimacy, thigh touch aside, was noted by other parents. He is weaponizing emotional intimacy to lure you in. NOT an appropriate convo for the setting, more like a DATE. How long were you 1:1?

What the heck is going on with you? Don't you care how you are perceived? Why are you not being straightforward with DH? I suspect it's because you want the cozy chats and confiding to continue on some level. I would be shocked if 2 parents, 1 divorcing, were displaying that kind of rapport at a team travel event and would wonder about hooking up. How does that not concern you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He was testing the waters to see if you were dtf.

For sure. And putting on a show for the other parents, apparently, them with their heads together until he started to put the moves on and paw. No discretion, he must be an exhibitionist. No idea what is up with YOU, OP, hope you are a troll.

Not telling your DH?

You may be the subject of gossip from the parents on the trip.

Since you don't want to really shut this down maybe you are? Or may be in the future?

[Anonymous]

Parents may have noted the intimate chats even before the trip. You have to tell DH, OP. This has been going on for a while in a public way.

He is not a good guy. Stop talking with him.

Kids can hang out at school or make plans through mom. Do not be alone with the dad, don't hang out at games and I wouldn't be psyched to have my kid at his home alone, he's a creep. Completely inappropriate and to escalate it with a school parents/ team audience is psycho.

[Anonymous]

How come this never happens to me on field trips or on sidelines ? Now I am just sad.

[Anonymous]

Come on OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He was testing the waters to see if you were dtf.

This

[Anonymous]

You can’t get the ego boost from an attractive guy propositioning you until he actually propositions you. It’s unfair to expect OP to shut this down prior to his asking if she’s DTF. If you’re married and at all normal, you enjoy seeing that you’ve still got it. Plus it’s not like OP is going to hook up with all those other parents around. She just has to say no and bemoan to other women her naïveté and how clueless she was. Then OP gets the ego boost, shows everyone how attractive she is, and has plausible deniability to maintain her reputation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, no. Not a friendly gesture. How many acquaintances thighs have you touched?

This. I have never accidentally touched someone’s thigh.

[Anonymous]

I am in this age group / divorced circle and this above is entirely possible

Everyone got a boost. + this fictional or real woman largely also got what she wanted. And she gets to boast online. win all around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Arm is borderline. Thigh is forward.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can’t get the ego boost from an attractive guy propositioning you until he actually propositions you. It’s unfair to expect OP to shut this down prior to his asking if she’s DTF. If you’re married and at all normal, you enjoy seeing that you’ve still got it. Plus it’s not like OP is going to hook up with all those other parents around. She just has to say no and bemoan to other women her naïveté and how clueless she was. Then OP gets the ego boost, shows everyone how attractive she is, and has plausible deniability to maintain her reputation.

No, it doesn't have to be this complicated. OP said the touching and conversation made her a little uncomfortable. So she can find subtle ways to end it. It doesn't have to be some grand pronouncement. I suspect that sometimes (not necessarily saying OP) this thing doesn't get quietly shut down is because people enjoy the attention.

[Anonymous]

Friendly gesture. Definitely.

Touching a woman’s thigh in public indefinitely “friendly in every culture and country I’ve been too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can’t get the ego boost from an attractive guy propositioning you until he actually propositions you. It’s unfair to expect OP to shut this down prior to his asking if she’s DTF. If you’re married and at all normal, you enjoy seeing that you’ve still got it. Plus it’s not like OP is going to hook up with all those other parents around. She just has to say no and bemoan to other women her naïveté and how clueless she was. Then OP gets the ego boost, shows everyone how attractive she is, and has plausible deniability to maintain her reputation.

Wrong.

Most women would be repulsed, not ego boosting. Disgusting.