NYT Article on Open Marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women are finally enjoying what men have always enjoyed. I don’t about some of you, but it’s common knowledge that my dad has his mistresses and of course my mom turned a blind eye. Men have always had open marriages but it was only one way. Now women are at least being “nice” and asking their husbands for an open marriage.

You are coming at this from a very sad personal perspective. Most of us, thankfully, cannot relate as our dads were honorable people.

You mean ugly people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read the article. My main reaction is that I'm tired of efforts to legitimize polyamory. Yes, this is me clutching my pearls - it's wrong.

And I can't wait to see the reaction when right wing, religious men use the social acceptance of polyamory as a justification to take multiple wives. In the end, this will harm women.

Like Sister Wives? That would be so weird and strange and unprecedented!

[Anonymous]

I find it humorous that many of the people who condemn alternative life styles are more than happy to vote for someone who has definitely pursued a non monogamous lifestyle. Polygamy is not for me but to each their own.

[Anonymous]

I can relate, kind of, to the idea of having other relationships (l can imagine it, even if I don’t personally want to do it). I cannot relate at all to writing a memoir about it and admitting it publicly!

[Anonymous]

She and her husband can have sex with whomever they want (assuming consenting adults). But they need to do it away from their kids without discussing their sex lives with their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Articles like this are just voyeurism on couples heading toward their inevitable end.

Polyamorous and open marriages never work. Ever. The human condition doesn't allow for it. Someone gets feelings. Someone gets resentment. It doesn't work.

The point of polyamory is to have feelings for more than one person. It’s not swinging, which is just about sex. I’ve been in a poly quad for over 7 years. I don’t expect it to last forever, but that’s okay. It’s already lasted longer than some marriages I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in the seventies as a small child surrounded by couples with "open" marriages. It was a lot more like wife swapping, really. A lot of people did get hurt. Some parents I know even got AIDS... but that wouldn't be my concern now, my concern now is, marriage and kids works as a partnership. No matter how stable you think your open marriage is, it's never that. Without the binary of just having a self and an other, there's a lot more to balance. I also grew up in the seventies as a small child surrounded by people who couldn't stop talking about how progressive and wonderful and cool they were for having their open marriages... meanwhile we kids were thrown together and torn apart by whom our parents were or weren't sleeping with. Nothing like telling the school counselor, "Beth isn't my mom, she's just my dad's girlfriend. But yeah, she has permission to get me from school."

Thanks for sharing the perspective of the now grown child. I think adults get lost in their own worlds sometimes, with all sorts of things (work, marriage, divorce, drama, trauma - anything). It’s helpful to see this narrative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Articles like this are just voyeurism on couples heading toward their inevitable end.

Polyamorous and open marriages never work. Ever. The human condition doesn't allow for it. Someone gets feelings. Someone gets resentment. It doesn't work.

The point of polyamory is to have feelings for more than one person. It’s not swinging, which is just about sex. I’ve been in a poly quad for over 7 years. I don’t expect it to last forever, but that’s okay. It’s already lasted longer than some marriages I know.

So, swinging is not polyamory?

[Anonymous]

I am a mother that is “erotically charged”. DH is also erotically charged, I sought that out. Magic how that works.

And we have one rule, we don’t involve others in any form of intimacy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Articles like this are just voyeurism on couples heading toward their inevitable end.

Polyamorous and open marriages never work. Ever. The human condition doesn't allow for it. Someone gets feelings. Someone gets resentment. It doesn't work.

The point of polyamory is to have feelings for more than one person. It’s not swinging, which is just about sex. I’ve been in a poly quad for over 7 years. I don’t expect it to last forever, but that’s okay. It’s already lasted longer than some marriages I know.

So, swinging is not polyamory?

Swinging is a lot easier than polyamory. One love relationship is hard enough to manage. More than one would be impossible.

[Anonymous]

This is classic NYT clickbait. They have been pushing this ‘lifestyle’ for a while now because they can boost their ad revenue. Simple as that.

[Anonymous]

Why do they always look like that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do they always look like that?

She's more attractive than most poly women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in the seventies as a small child surrounded by couples with "open" marriages. It was a lot more like wife swapping, really. A lot of people did get hurt. Some parents I know even got AIDS... but that wouldn't be my concern now, my concern now is, marriage and kids works as a partnership. No matter how stable you think your open marriage is, it's never that. Without the binary of just having a self and an other, there's a lot more to balance. I also grew up in the seventies as a small child surrounded by people who couldn't stop talking about how progressive and wonderful and cool they were for having their open marriages... meanwhile we kids were thrown together and torn apart by whom our parents were or weren't sleeping with. Nothing like telling the school counselor, "Beth isn't my mom, she's just my dad's girlfriend. But yeah, she has permission to get me from school."

Thanks for sharing the perspective of the now grown child. I think adults get lost in their own worlds sometimes, with all sorts of things (work, marriage, divorce, drama, trauma - anything). It’s helpful to see this narrative.

Agreed.

People who want to live this way shouldn't have kids. They are too selfish.

The world would be a better place if many immature adults just skipped having kids and did what they really want to do...live for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do they always look like that?

She's more attractive than most poly women.

Maybe there's something to that. They have such dissatisfying relationships because there is minimal attraction there they have to keep seeking out new experiences because they are never fulfilled.