NYT Article on Open Marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women are finally enjoying what men have always enjoyed. I don’t about some of you, but it’s common knowledge that my dad has his mistresses and of course my mom turned a blind eye. Men have always had open marriages but it was only one way. Now women are at least being “nice” and asking their husbands for an open marriage.

Fine. But the people who want to go on and on about how it's more evolved and all their partners and metamours are loved and happy....GMAFB. It's rarely true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women are finally enjoying what men have always enjoyed. I don’t about some of you, but it’s common knowledge that my dad has his mistresses and of course my mom turned a blind eye. Men have always had open marriages but it was only one way. Now women are at least being “nice” and asking their husbands for an open marriage.

I'm sorry you were raised by such a messed up man. I don't think your response of "be a sociopath just like dad!" Is the win you think.

I was raised by a serial cheater too. Before marriage, I was pretty fancy free. I was out there. I experimented. I sowed oats.

But after marriage? Why? Been there, done that, and all it would do is hurt someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Articles like this are just voyeurism on couples heading toward their inevitable end.

Polyamorous and open marriages never work. Ever. The human condition doesn't allow for it. Someone gets feelings. Someone gets resentment. It doesn't work.

It sounds like it's working for the author and her spouse. Not sure why you're saying never ever. You don't know.


To be fair they’ve only been at it for some 6 years. Let’s see where they are in 10.
But it's definitely rare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I miss the days when people considered their sex lives to be a private matter.

'+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fern is a good writer.

About something with an incredibly high failure rate.

But she writes well.

I think this is true for a lot of people who write for The Atlantic.

They are gifted writers who are really good at defending their own neurotic decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in an open marriage. I've been doing this for twenty years. I don't relate to this. I accept that at some point my kids may find out but I'm trying a lot harder to avoid it. To the extent that it doesn't occur to anyone that I might be doing this because I'm a mother, great. I'm not asking for wider cultural validation, I'm not proselytizing, I just want to be left alone.

You're a rarity. Many poly people are so proud of it. So so proud.

While they spend so many hours in difficult conversations with partners, and not paying enough attention to their kids.

You don't hear from the ones who are keeping it to themselves because they are keeping it to themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women are finally enjoying what men have always enjoyed. I don’t about some of you, but it’s common knowledge that my dad has his mistresses and of course my mom turned a blind eye. Men have always had open marriages but it was only one way. Now women are at least being “nice” and asking their husbands for an open marriage.

👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in an open marriage. I've been doing this for twenty years. I don't relate to this. I accept that at some point my kids may find out but I'm trying a lot harder to avoid it. To the extent that it doesn't occur to anyone that I might be doing this because I'm a mother, great. I'm not asking for wider cultural validation, I'm not proselytizing, I just want to be left alone.

Hate to break it to you, but your kids will find out and probably already know unless they’re toddlers. It’s not a matter of if, it’s a question of when and how. I’m the kid, my sister and I always knew and it messed both of us up emotionally.

[Anonymous]

Open marriage is one of those ridiculous constructs that destroys the entire purpose of marriage. I never want to worry about another person dating my spouse. We are mature people in the next stage of life.

Commitment is underrated.

[Anonymous]

I saw a comment to the effect of “Polyamory is the enjoyment of torturing [or being tortured by] your partner. The inflicting of pain is a part of the fetish.”

Emotional sadomasochism by the world’s least hottest people on display. Please go back behind closed doors, we are begging you!

[Anonymous]

Read the article. My main reaction is that I'm tired of efforts to legitimize polyamory. Yes, this is me clutching my pearls - it's wrong.

And I can't wait to see the reaction when right wing, religious men use the social acceptance of polyamory as a justification to take multiple wives. In the end, this will harm women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women are finally enjoying what men have always enjoyed. I don’t about some of you, but it’s common knowledge that my dad has his mistresses and of course my mom turned a blind eye. Men have always had open marriages but it was only one way. Now women are at least being “nice” and asking their husbands for an open marriage.

You are coming at this from a very sad personal perspective. Most of us, thankfully, cannot relate as our dads were honorable people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women are finally enjoying what men have always enjoyed. I don’t about some of you, but it’s common knowledge that my dad has his mistresses and of course my mom turned a blind eye. Men have always had open marriages but it was only one way. Now women are at least being “nice” and asking their husbands for an open marriage.

👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻

What are women enjoying.

Being a POS like men? Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I saw a comment to the effect of “Polyamory is the enjoyment of torturing [or being tortured by] your partner. The inflicting of pain is a part of the fetish.”

Emotional sadomasochism by the world’s least hottest people on display. Please go back behind closed doors, we are begging you!

Oh that quote is funny. I would add that for some people, part of the fetish is making people outside their marriage uncomfortable or awkward. They seem to take such pleasure in telling people about their arrangement, and genuinely hope someone will say they don't get it or don't like it. They want to argue about it.

As with most narcissists, if you shrug and ignore them, it makes them angry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Open marriage is one of those ridiculous constructs that destroys the entire purpose of marriage. I never want to worry about another person dating my spouse. We are mature people in the next stage of life.

Commitment is underrated.

What is the entire purpose of marriage?