Why is the patriarchy still alive and well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymousquote wrote:

I'm a left wing and very educated but begrudgingly admit that my role as mother and homemaker has been exponentially better for my children and my husband's career. Which means better for my life but short term and long term. We could have switched roles but while I could have made what DH makes (which is a lot), he would have been mediocre at raising the kids and keeping our house running. American society is barely set up for 2 working parents, let alone 2 working parents who want to have high-achieving, well-adjusted kids and happy parents. That's why the patriarchy is alive and well.

This would be 100% true for me as well!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely women contribute to this problem. Particularly right wing uneducated Christian women who still believe their role is mother/homemaker, supporting their man.

...and all the liberal women contribute to it too by treating their daughters and sons differently. The liberal women here often complain that the husbands don't do more at home or that they take the lions share of the work with the kids and house. Why in the heck did they marry a guy like that, let alone reproduce with him!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Definitely women contribute to this problem. Particularly right wing uneducated Christian women who still believe their role is mother/homemaker, supporting their man.

I'm a left wing and very educated but begrudgingly admit that my role as mother and homemaker has been exponentially better for my children and my husband's career. Which means better for my life but short term and long term. We could have switched roles but while I could have made what DH makes (which is a lot), he would have been mediocre at raising the kids and keeping our house running. American society is barely set up for 2 working parents, let alone 2 working parents who want to have high-achieving, well-adjusted kids and happy parents. That's why the patriarchy is alive and well.

The idea that men are incapable and inefficient at household duties is myth. Of course your husband never cared about learning how to manage a household, he saw his mother do it all for him and then you happily stepped into the role to do the same. And then of course your daughters will do the same and leave the workforce while your sons never learn to do chores or manage a household.

[Anonymous]

ask Aunt Lydia

[Anonymous]

I’m a woman and a feminist, but if I were a man there’s no way I would want to cede power. It’s human nature, it’s institutional, and it’s passed down via conditioning, much of it subconscious. Where is the *collective* desire for things to change?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know we like to blame men, and that's definitely a big part of it, but I think we need to look at the issue other women bring to it as well. This forum is a good example to see how women play a part in contributing to the patriarchy. Shaming women for working, shaming women for putting themselves first, shaming women for staying at home, shame, shame, shame. Im real life, I've dealt with female managers trying to tear me down because the big boss has liked my ideas. I've seen people talk shit about a female boss for no reason other than she was a powerful female.

So yes, men play a huge role. But ignoring how we contribute to it too will never get the issue solved.

All of this. The patriarchy persists because internalized misogyny is everywhere and there are insufficient social supports for women with professional ambition who'd also like to be good, engaged mothers.

Yes and yes.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Definitely women contribute to this problem. Particularly right wing uneducated Christian women who still believe their role is mother/homemaker, supporting their man.

I'm a left wing and very educated but begrudgingly admit that my role as mother and homemaker has been exponentially better for my children and my husband's career. Which means better for my life but short term and long term. We could have switched roles but while I could have made what DH makes (which is a lot), he would have been mediocre at raising the kids and keeping our house running. American society is barely set up for 2 working parents, let alone 2 working parents who want to have high-achieving, well-adjusted kids and happy parents. That's why the patriarchy is alive and well.

The idea that men are incapable and inefficient at household duties is myth. Of course your husband never cared about learning how to manage a household, he saw his mother do it all for him and then you happily stepped into the role to do the same. And then of course your daughters will do the same and leave the workforce while your sons never learn to do chores or manage a household.

household.

Ooh, I have an idea. Let's shame women for their decisions! That will improve things....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman and a feminist, but if I were a man there’s no way I would want to cede power. It’s human nature, it’s institutional, and it’s passed down via conditioning, much of it subconscious. Where is the *collective* desire for things to change?

Yep, and if you have a son, you want him to be powerful and successful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely women contribute to this problem. Particularly right wing uneducated Christian women who still believe their role is mother/homemaker, supporting their man.

God I hope you don’t consider yourself a feminist. If you do, you suck at it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely women contribute to this problem. Particularly right wing uneducated Christian women who still believe their role is mother/homemaker, supporting their man.

AND because those roles are not valued or compensated of what they give to the family and on broader level to society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman and a feminist, but if I were a man there’s no way I would want to cede power. It’s human nature, it’s institutional, and it’s passed down via conditioning, much of it subconscious. Where is the *collective* desire for things to change?

In women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman and a feminist, but if I were a man there’s no way I would want to cede power. It’s human nature, it’s institutional, and it’s passed down via conditioning, much of it subconscious. Where is the *collective* desire for things to change?

In women?

Nope. It sure ain't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I believe that unequal burden of having children is the biggest driver.

If you want to have your own biological children and you are a woman you need to have months of a physically limitations, then have months of leave from work. All during the prime promotion/sorting years of work.

That is even if both spouses contribute equally to raising the kids once they are born, which isn't the current societal norm.

It's this. Most of my female peers and I lived in an equal world and were on equal footing with men until the childbirthing years.

[Anonymous]

The real reason patriarchy exists and will continue to exist, is because women (for the most part) seek a provider, "strong" "confident", breadwinner. For men, being seen and successful, strong / "dominant" seemingly impresses women. This almost universal across all cultures where boys (as they hit puberty) see that all the pretty girls want the cool/rich/hunk.

It plays out in adulthood on DCUM threads where women lament to lack of tall/wealthy/emotionally balanced guys to choose from. Meanwhile the douche with the Ferrari has babe-of-the-week riding shotgun..

[Anonymous]

Can you explain what you mean by patriarchy and how you experience it?

If I am being frank, it seems like most of the "patriarchy" talks I see are from unhappy left wing progressives who simultaneously seem so out of touch that they have to invent excuses to blame their failures on. Slapping a bumpersticker on your broken down car, along with the queer and Ukraine and BLM stickers doesn't make it so.

Useful to provide clear examples of the patriarchy in today's America before you start moaning about it.