Do you have kids and/or animals in your bed regularly?

[Anonymous]

Two 30lb dogs and a cat in our king size bed. 7 year old will come in for a few minutes of snuggling in the morning sometimes, but doesn't even like her cat sleeping in her room. I don't really consider the animals around as not alone time and we mostly have sex during the day since we both WFH full time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:...

But I don't get complaining about a sleep arrangement that isn't working for you, for years.

...

So do what you want and what works for you, but why are you complaining? Take care of your sleep needs and don't be a martyr about it. If your kids and pets are disrupting your sleep, find a way to fix it.

This. We have a friend couple who complain about poor sleep but let their large dog (who still rarely makes it through the night without having to 'go') sleep in their bed. That's a them problem. I've also a sibling & IL who allow their cats to literally sleep on their heads, then wonder why they have a disrupted night and sniffles in the morning.

To answer OP's question, we're a hard no to kids in the bed. No pets so not an issue.

[Anonymous]

Dog yes, kid no

[Anonymous]

The cat sleeps at the foot of the bed. He hides under the bed during sex.
The kids (8 and 5) sometimes come to our bed around 6 am and I let them in. If they try that in the middle of the night I lead them back to their own beds.

[Anonymous]

Cats yes, kids no thankfully since they started sharing a room at 2 and 4. (Prior to that my then 3yo would crawl into our bed when she had a nightmare; sharing a room with another kid seems to prevent that.) We move the cats for sex (although that’s also usually during the day).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:...

But I don't get complaining about a sleep arrangement that isn't working for you, for years.

...

So do what you want and what works for you, but why are you complaining? Take care of your sleep needs and don't be a martyr about it. If your kids and pets are disrupting your sleep, find a way to fix it.

This. We have a friend couple who complain about poor sleep but let their large dog (who still rarely makes it through the night without having to 'go') sleep in their bed. That's a them problem. I've also a sibling & IL who allow their cats to literally sleep on their heads, then wonder why they have a disrupted night and sniffles in the morning.

To answer OP's question, we're a hard no to kids in the bed. No pets so not an issue.

I think part of the problem is that people are not always honest about how they actually feel about having pets or kids in their bed.

My perception is that some people who complain about kids or animals in the bed actually do not mind it and may even like it, but adopt this attitude of "oh no it's terrible but what are you going to do?" about it because they know some people are judgmental about cosleeping so they pretend it's a problem with it's not. Just own it! If you like having your kids sleep with you, and it works for your family and everyone gets enough sleep, then who cares? You don't even need to talk about it. Same with animals. You don not have to justify your sleep set up in your own home.

But conversely, I think sometimes people genuinely are suffering with animals in bed or kids who come in at all hours and disrupt sleep, but people are afraid to just say, "I don't like this, I want my space when I sleep." Like that somehow makes you a bad parent because you don't want to snuggle with your kids all night long. But it doesn't. Wanting some space for sleep is normal and not offensive, and it's okay to teach your kids to sleep independently so that you can get the sleep you need.

We should just normalize all sleep arrangements as fine, as long as the people and animals involved are getting enough rest. We are not cosleepers even though I thought we might be, but it turns out that kids in their own beds is what works best for us. But I do sleep best with the cat in the bed with us -- he keeps my feet warm in the winter and I find his presence comforting, and he doesn't bother my DH so it's fine.

The problem is not cosleeping or not, it's people who don't trust their own instincts about what works and are trying to satisfy someone else's expectations for family life that might not apply to them. Make your own choices but then don't whine about how hard they are. Either it works or it doesn't -- this is something in your control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in a group chat with my close girlfriends and they were all commiserating about the kids and animals that sleep in their bed every night and it seems wild to me that I'm in the minority.

Friend 1: 2yo in their bed, 5yo on their floor next to their bed

Friend 2: 4yo, 2yo, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and my friend in their cali king bed every night. Her husband sleeps on the couch.

Friend 3: 2 dogs in their bed, 11mo in pack n play next to their bed

Friend 4: dog and cat in their bed (dog sleeps between them)

Do you have animals and/or kids in your bed? When do you and your partner have alone time? Where do you have sex?

Children under 5, occasionally but no pets or Children over 5.

[Anonymous]

Kids who bathe every day, wash after every poop, wash hands often, change into clean PJs, doesn't walk outside without shoes, can occasionally sleep in parental bed.

Pets if they follow the same hygiene so basically not possible.

[Anonymous]

Would you let an adult in your bed if they have same hygiene as dogs?

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it’s weird or even unusual at all but it’s not for me. Daughter (toddler) required cosleeping for most of her life so we got her a queen sized floor bed so I go to her for a portion of the night as needed; she’s never slept in our bed. I hate pets in the bed. They are hot and fidgety and make licking sounds that wake me up. We love them and they have their own little memory foam beds.

[Anonymous]

Yes to both. 2 dogs. Kids don't sleep in my bed anymore as teens but they did a lot a few years ago.

[Anonymous]

I'm a single mom and an introvert. I have my son 24/7/365 and except for a few nights when he was sick or we stayed in hotel rooms, he has slept in his own bed. I need some time alone. Our dog is crate trained and sleeps in her crate.

[Anonymous]

Never since that viral video of the lady eating what she thought were grains of rice but in reality it was anal worms from her cat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in a group chat with my close girlfriends and they were all commiserating about the kids and animals that sleep in their bed every night and it seems wild to me that I'm in the minority.

Friend 1: 2yo in their bed, 5yo on their floor next to their bed

Friend 2: 4yo, 2yo, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and my friend in their cali king bed every night. Her husband sleeps on the couch.

Friend 3: 2 dogs in their bed, 11mo in pack n play next to their bed

Friend 4: dog and cat in their bed (dog sleeps between them)

Do you have animals and/or kids in your bed? When do you and your partner have alone time? Where do you have sex?

No, it is a good way to catch lice!

[Anonymous]

Dog, often. She doesn’t disturb us.

We always said “never!” to kids in our bed, which worked for the first 2. Third kid very often crawled into bed with us in the middle of the night from ages 5-9 or so. We tried a sleeping bag on the floor etc but honestly it never worked well. He finally stopped doing it at 9ish.