Reply to Do you have kids and/or animals in your bed regularly?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]...

But I don't get complaining about a sleep arrangement that isn't working for you, for years.

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So do what you want and what works for you, but why are you complaining? Take care of your sleep needs and don't be a martyr about it. If your kids and pets are disrupting your sleep, find a way to fix it.[/quote]
This. We have a friend couple who complain about poor sleep but let their large dog (who still rarely makes it through the night without having to 'go') sleep in their bed. That's a [i]them[/i] problem. I've also a sibling & IL who allow their cats to literally sleep on their heads, then wonder why they have a disrupted night and sniffles in the morning.

To answer OP's question, we're a hard no to kids in the bed. No pets so not an issue.[/quote]

I think part of the problem is that people are not always honest about how they actually feel about having pets or kids in their bed.

My perception is that some people who complain about kids or animals in the bed actually do not mind it and may even like it, but adopt this attitude of "oh no it's terrible but what are you going to do?" about it because they know some people are judgmental about cosleeping so they pretend it's a problem with it's not. Just own it! If you like having your kids sleep with you, and it works for your family and everyone gets enough sleep, then who cares? You don't even need to talk about it. Same with animals. You don not have to justify your sleep set up in your own home.

But conversely, I think sometimes people genuinely are suffering with animals in bed or kids who come in at all hours and disrupt sleep, but people are afraid to just say, "I don't like this, I want my space when I sleep." Like that somehow makes you a bad parent because you don't want to snuggle with your kids all night long. But it doesn't. Wanting some space for sleep is normal and not offensive, and it's okay to teach your kids to sleep independently so that you can get the sleep you need.

We should just normalize all sleep arrangements as fine, as long as the people and animals involved are getting enough rest. We are not cosleepers even though I thought we might be, but it turns out that kids in their own beds is what works best for us. But I do sleep best with the cat in the bed with us -- he keeps my feet warm in the winter and I find his presence comforting, and he doesn't bother my DH so it's fine.

The problem is not cosleeping or not, it's people who don't trust their own instincts about what works and are trying to satisfy someone else's expectations for family life that might not apply to them. Make your own choices but then don't whine about how hard they are. Either it works or it doesn't -- this is something in your control.[/quote]

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