Do you have kids and/or animals in your bed regularly?

[Anonymous]

I'm in a group chat with my close girlfriends and they were all commiserating about the kids and animals that sleep in their bed every night and it seems wild to me that I'm in the minority.

Friend 1: 2yo in their bed, 5yo on their floor next to their bed

Friend 2: 4yo, 2yo, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and my friend in their cali king bed every night. Her husband sleeps on the couch.

Friend 3: 2 dogs in their bed, 11mo in pack n play next to their bed

Friend 4: dog and cat in their bed (dog sleeps between them)

Do you have animals and/or kids in your bed? When do you and your partner have alone time? Where do you have sex?

[Anonymous]

8 year old on a bed at the foot of my bed
Spouse sleeping in another room with the dog and cat

[Anonymous]

This is pretty judgmental OP. Different strokes for different folks. Our dog sleeps with us and I will always let a kid in if they have a nightmare or need a snuggle. It's not my goal to start out with my kids in my bed at night but I honestly love that they want to be close to me and if they come in, they are generally seeking security. I am happy to be able to provide that to them.

We have sex at other times.

[Anonymous]

Kids and pets hang out in my bed. I barely fit, and I love it. But the kids sleep in their own bed.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes 8 year old in a sleeping bag on the floor. Only in the bed when DH is traveling. We work from home so sex is during the day.

[Anonymous]

No pets, but our kid never regularly slept in our bed. She's 7 now, but it was never a thing when she was younger either. We sleep in a full though, so there's not really room either way.

[Anonymous]

DS only slept in our bed if he had a nightmare or something similar. All that stopped around 5 though. He likes to have the whole bed to himself.

Dog sleeps with us but if we snap our fingers and say "off bed" he will go down to his dog bed on the floor and wait until we give him the command to come back up.

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised it was that many within your group as it is definitely not common in my friend group at least the children. Our cat sometimes sleeps at the end of the bed but that has zero impact on sleep. Kids have never slept in our beds, I don't think it would really work for us and our kids haven't really asked much. The couple times they have we've just said that we all sleep better in our own beds and I always respond and go into them if they call at night. But I can imagine it is sweet and cuddly at times! To each their own OP.

[Anonymous]

Cat sleeps with DH and and I every night. She'll usually start curled up on my stomach but ends up in the exact middle of the bed at some point in the night.

[Anonymous]

All of those situations sound like a nightmare to me!

We went through a brief period when my daughter was 18 months where she was having a terrible sleep regression and we let her sleep in our bed for a few weeks. It was awful--my husband and I barely slept (though my daughter did haha). Other than that, the only time a kid has ever been in the bed with us is for a short time like an hour or less if they had a nightmare. I could never sleep w/ animals in there either. Sounds terrible. we don't have pets now but when we did, they always slept elsewhere/in their own dog bed or in a chair in another room.

[Anonymous]

Kids never, a dog is ok if they're small, clean and stay still

[Anonymous]

No and never have. 2 teens and on our second dog as a couple.

[Anonymous]

I have no judgement of other families and their sleep arrangements. Do what works for you. Co-sleeping, not co-sleeping, however you help kids fall asleep (or not if you just let them do it themselves). Whatever works. Sleep is really important.

But I don't get complaining about a sleep arrangement that isn't working for you, for years. A few months, sure, I've been there. DD has mostly slept in her own room since 10 months but over the last 6 years we've certainly gone through phases where she was coming into our bed at night, or calling out for us to come to her, or unable to fall asleep on her own, etc. We've had weeks or sometimes even a month or two where the sleep arrangement is not ideal. Basically anytime she's coming into our bed to sleep, we'll be exhausted because our bed is really not big enough for three people and she's a super active sleeper -- we will do it temporarily to address fears or insecurity for her, but it is not a long term sleep solution for us. But I don't get why someone would cosleep or whatever for years without addressing it and fixing the situation.

I also don't get complaining about pets in the bed. My cat sleeps by my feet and has for 13 years. I love it and it's one of the reasons I got him. I had a cat growing up who did the same and it has always helped me to sleep to have an animal in bed with me. My DH runs super hot at night and has never been a cuddle, but the cat loves to cuddle. I would never complain about this, it's a behavior I intentionally cultivated when he was a kitten and now it's part of our routine.

So do what you want and what works for you, but why are you complaining? Take care of your sleep needs and don't be a martyr about it. If your kids and pets are disrupting your sleep, find a way to fix it.

[Anonymous]

Weird how we can just move the cat if we want sex.

[Anonymous]

Dog sleeps in our bed. Kids never ever, that's a family rule. If they have a bad night we sleep in their bed. They're welcome to get in our bed to snuggle and watch tv at any other time though.