DIL never participates, never joins in

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am taking in the feedback. I know this is a trivial example. It’s just always no thank you, no thanks, and she barely talks to DH and me but is effusive with aunts, uncles, cousins.

When her parents visit, she goes out for margaritas with her mom and her visiting female relatives and her friends. She’s never once invited me or my daughter out.

She’s warm to others, cool to us.

Are there your aunts, uncles, and cousins? Sounds like she does join in and participate, just not with you. I mean, you obviously don't like her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’ve not said a single kind thing about her, and presumably, she’s onto you. You’ve even managed to triangulate your daughter into your manufactured drama.

PP was right that you should be grateful she’s there at all.

Yes!!

[Anonymous]

You’re in a common dynamic where she doesn’t care for you & vice versa. Let it go. You’ve got your son there, & she’s there & presumably their children - so it’s not horrible where the family is being kept apart. You can have fun with your son & the other people you are on vacation with - enjoy! Let her feel/do whatever she wants & go have fun with the many other people you are with.

[Anonymous]

Op, you have daughters, right? That's a very strong bond. You all have a very established way of dealing with each other. You may not recognize that dynamic. To you it's just acting like family. For someone else, though, it's not something to step-into.

Not saying it's completely relevant but I was raised with only brothers. I know others who were only children, other different family dynamics. Something different from your family. We are not going to assimilate the way you envision.

[Anonymous]

She went with you to the beach and needs to care for her kids. She is participating.

[Anonymous]

The idea of drinking a margarita after a glass of red wine is disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am taking in the feedback. I know this is a trivial example. It’s just always no thank you, no thanks, and she barely talks to DH and me but is effusive with aunts, uncles, cousins.

When her parents visit, she goes out for margaritas with her mom and her visiting female relatives and her friends. She’s never once invited me or my daughter out.

She’s warm to others, cool to us.

She is closer to her family of origin than she is to you.

And this surprises you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am taking in the feedback. I know this is a trivial example. It’s just always no thank you, no thanks, and she barely talks to DH and me but is effusive with aunts, uncles, cousins.

When her parents visit, she goes out for margaritas with her mom and her visiting female relatives and her friends. She’s never once invited me or my daughter out.

She’s warm to others, cool to us.

Have you invited her out? Or is your hospitality limited to offering liquor after wine?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should be grateful she’s even there.

X10000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She went with you to the beach and needs to care for her kids. She is participating.

X100000

OP, back off. Try offering to babysit for the nice couple sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’ve not said a single kind thing about her, and presumably, she’s onto you. You’ve even managed to triangulate your daughter into your manufactured drama.

PP was right that you should be grateful she’s there at all.

Yes!!

+1

Offer to take them out, op

[Anonymous]

Of course she goes out with her mom and her friends. You are different. You are the judgmental lush who despises her.

Guess who they talk about at marg night?

[Anonymous]

Nice job troll! Was it difficult finding a topic DCUM would pounce on? No?

[Anonymous]

Why is all your focus on drinking?

Oh she turned down a margarita (after already drinking a glass of red wine); oh she didn’t invite you out for margaritas…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t blame her, drinking margs after wine is a recipe for a rough hangover. Signed, fellow margarita enthusiast

Plus too much sugar.
Only make skinny margaritas