DIL never participates, never joins in

[Anonymous]

I like beer but I don’t always want a beer.

I get what you are saying; she isn’t being “fun” but I’m going to need more than she doesn’t want a second drink to get on board with your opinion that she never participates. There are many good reasons to not want a drink, including you’re just not in the mood for one.

[Anonymous]

You should be grateful she’s even there.

[Anonymous]

We're going to be treated to the usual feelings of "DIL thinks she's too good for us, blah blah blah really uptight family... wish DS hadn't married her".

[Anonymous]

You’d be here complaining if she had two drinks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re at the beach with several families this weekend. It is well-known that DIL likes margaritas. We made a batch and she refused one, saying “I’ve already had a glass of red wine.”

I’m sure she would participate with her family. All we get is tight-lipped tolerance. I’m tired of constant rejection.

Oh that beetch!

[Anonymous]

People don’t mix drinks! I would never have a glass of red line followed by a margarita! That’s number one way to feeling terrible the next day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey Boomer, young people don’t drink like you do.

+1

[Anonymous]

OP, you feel "constant rejection" only if the relationship is lopsided. You need read DIL's signals and not do more that causes you resentment. If DIL likes a relationship that is more reserved, well, that's the relationship. Other gal pals in your life will have to fill-in.

[Anonymous]

Troll trying to make MIL look bad. You people are so gullible.

[Anonymous]

What beach are you at in October? Its red wine weather not margarita weather in the mid Atlantic!

[Anonymous]

OP here. I am taking in the feedback. I know this is a trivial example. It’s just always no thank you, no thanks, and she barely talks to DH and me but is effusive with aunts, uncles, cousins.

When her parents visit, she goes out for margaritas with her mom and her visiting female relatives and her friends. She’s never once invited me or my daughter out.

She’s warm to others, cool to us.

[Anonymous]

You’ve not said a single kind thing about her, and presumably, she’s onto you. You’ve even managed to triangulate your daughter into your manufactured drama.

PP was right that you should be grateful she’s there at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am taking in the feedback. I know this is a trivial example. It’s just always no thank you, no thanks, and she barely talks to DH and me but is effusive with aunts, uncles, cousins.

When her parents visit, she goes out for margaritas with her mom and her visiting female relatives and her friends. She’s never once invited me or my daughter out.

She’s warm to others, cool to us.

I bet she is mirroring your behavior towards her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey Boomer, young people don’t drink like you do.

Another boomer here. Sure they do. And you suck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am taking in the feedback. I know this is a trivial example. It’s just always no thank you, no thanks, and she barely talks to DH and me but is effusive with aunts, uncles, cousins.

When her parents visit, she goes out for margaritas with her mom and her visiting female relatives and her friends. She’s never once invited me or my daughter out.

She’s warm to others, cool to us.

So she's closer to her family of origin than to you? And she's polite if withdrawn? And she's friendly to others in your family? Seems like there's a backstory here.