You just never know

[Anonymous]

It is crazy to me too. Our kids are all tween/teenage. We’ve witnessed 4 just since Covid. All but one were wives leaving husbands and immediately dating. Like immediately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A good friend of mine for the past 15+ years just called me and told me that he and his wife of nearly 20 years have separated and are likely divorcing. I honestly thought they had the perfect marriage. I was completely and totally shocked.

One of my neighbor got divorced after 25 years of marriage, was portraying a lovey dovey image the week before. Quickly remarried and started similar lovey divey theme with the new guy.

Some people are just good at being married

It’s like those men who have wives that die of cancer and then suddenly marry 3 months later. I could never understand it - perhaps they were already seeing these women while their wives have cancer, or perhaps they just can’t stand not being married

Getting divorced is not good at being married.

You can be good at it but then think you want something else the 2nd 30 years of your life.

My son's friend's father showed up to his wife's funeral with his mistress, lol but I guess he was good at marriage because he never divorced.

Well- duh. No- being a cheater is not being good at marriage and neither is divorces.

Either is being married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A good friend of mine for the past 15+ years just called me and told me that he and his wife of nearly 20 years have separated and are likely divorcing. I honestly thought they had the perfect marriage. I was completely and totally shocked.

One of my neighbor got divorced after 25 years of marriage, was portraying a lovey dovey image the week before. Quickly remarried and started similar lovey divey theme with the new guy.

Some people are just good at being married

It’s like those men who have wives that die of cancer and then suddenly marry 3 months later. I could never understand it - perhaps they were already seeing these women while their wives have cancer, or perhaps they just can’t stand not being married

Getting divorced is not good at being married.

You can be good at it but then think you want something else the 2nd 30 years of your life.[b]

My son's friend's father showed up to his wife's funeral with his mistress, lol but I guess he was good at marriage because he never divorced.

That statement alone shows someone not good at being married.

This one, not the bolded:

You can be good at it but then think you want something else the 2nd 30 years of your life.

It’s called being honest and realistic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A good friend of mine for the past 15+ years just called me and told me that he and his wife of nearly 20 years have separated and are likely divorcing. I honestly thought they had the perfect marriage. I was completely and totally shocked.

One of my neighbor got divorced after 25 years of marriage, was portraying a lovey dovey image the week before. Quickly remarried and started similar lovey divey theme with the new guy.

Some people are just good at being married

It’s like those men who have wives that die of cancer and then suddenly marry 3 months later. I could never understand it - perhaps they were already seeing these women while their wives have cancer, or perhaps they just can’t stand not being married

Or perhaps it’s none of your business? If I died of cancer, I’d want DH to find the most amazing woman asap (and if he went on a few dates while I was sleeping, so be it, and no, don’t tell me). I wouldn’t want him to wallow in pain. Life is short and the guy’s already been through more than his share.

Of course I don’t wanna die, for the record! And no dating unless I’m terminal, lol!

If I'm terminal DH had better be focusing on spending my last months with me, not lining up dates!

Eh. I Said while I’m sleeping. Mine has proven his love and devotion many times over, I would be ok with not knowing about a few coffee dates.

First… they’re not having coffee.

Second… he’s neglecting your children. They just lost a mother FFS.

[Anonymous]

I recently learned a friend is divorcing after 20+ years. I’m shocked.

-A few kids
-Nice lifestyle
-Breadwinner plus SAHM
-Well-educated, good people
-Seemed well-suited and happy

I don’t get it. No clue how they will manage the finances.

Partner and I are kicking around theories:

-Was the breadwinner annoyed that the SAHM wouldn’t go back to work?

-Is one gay?

-Cheating? Seems unlikely.

-Mental health issues?

I hope they reconcile.

[Anonymous]

I'll be one of those that shock you. My husband isn't a bad guy and there's no cheating but I've been carrying too much for too long. Despite my pleas, despite lots of counseling, my husband hasn't been a good partner.

Our marriage has died because of a 1,000 cuts. I recognized when our youngest was in HS that nothing would change. Having to carry so much has killed my love for my husband. I wouldn't want to be married to someone who feels the way I do about my husband. It's not like I'm hostile but just that I have accepted that my role is disproportionately responsible for the family and that once our youngest leaves for college, I will be free to pursue a more fulfilling life. I'm biding my time. I have no problem being in social/family situations with my husband. We're civil/polite. The ties that bind us are nearly broken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently learned a friend is divorcing after 20+ years. I’m shocked.

-A few kids
-Nice lifestyle
-Breadwinner plus SAHM
-Well-educated, good people
-Seemed well-suited and happy

I don’t get it. No clue how they will manage the finances.

Partner and I are kicking around theories:

-Was the breadwinner annoyed that the SAHM wouldn’t go back to work?

-Is one gay?

-Cheating? Seems unlikely.

-Mental health issues?

I hope they reconcile.

Why does cheating seem unlikely?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll be one of those that shock you. My husband isn't a bad guy and there's no cheating but I've been carrying too much for too long. Despite my pleas, despite lots of counseling, my husband hasn't been a good partner.

Our marriage has died because of a 1,000 cuts. I recognized when our youngest was in HS that nothing would change. Having to carry so much has killed my love for my husband. I wouldn't want to be married to someone who feels the way I do about my husband. It's not like I'm hostile but just that I have accepted that my role is disproportionately responsible for the family and that once our youngest leaves for college, I will be free to pursue a more fulfilling life. I'm biding my time. I have no problem being in social/family situations with my husband. We're civil/polite. The ties that bind us are nearly broken.

Trying to understand. Your husband just wasn't an active participant in the marriage and you were carrying most of the daily load or that your standards for his behavior and actions were just too high? Your mindset was set on a criteria he couldn't match up to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is crazy to me too. Our kids are all tween/teenage. We’ve witnessed 4 just since Covid. All but one were wives leaving husbands and immediately dating. Like immediately.

Cheaters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A good friend of mine for the past 15+ years just called me and told me that he and his wife of nearly 20 years have separated and are likely divorcing. I honestly thought they had the perfect marriage. I was completely and totally shocked.

One of my neighbor got divorced after 25 years of marriage, was portraying a lovey dovey image the week before. Quickly remarried and started similar lovey divey theme with the new guy.

Some people are just good at being married

It’s like those men who have wives that die of cancer and then suddenly marry 3 months later. I could never understand it - perhaps they were already seeing these women while their wives have cancer, or perhaps they just can’t stand not being married

Or perhaps it’s none of your business? If I died of cancer, I’d want DH to find the most amazing woman asap (and if he went on a few dates while I was sleeping, so be it, and no, don’t tell me). I wouldn’t want him to wallow in pain. Life is short and the guy’s already been through more than his share.

Of course I don’t wanna die, for the record! And no dating unless I’m terminal, lol!

If I'm terminal DH had better be focusing on spending my last months with me, not lining up dates!

Eh. I Said while I’m sleeping. Mine has proven his love and devotion many times over, I would be ok with not knowing about a few coffee dates.

I’m imagining you don’t have kids. If you did, you would want his focus to be 100% on them, “while you were sleeping.” I don’t think you would want another woman in your kid’s lives 3 months later.

[Anonymous]

People are shocked we are divorcing. Husband going through a textbook midlife crisis and sleeping with younger women. Completely out of character with the successful family man image he had for the last 14 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people stay married for children and financial reasons alone for many years while their marriage is already over on everything except paper.

Children and financial reasons are historically the main reason for marriage in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A good friend of mine for the past 15+ years just called me and told me that he and his wife of nearly 20 years have separated and are likely divorcing. I honestly thought they had the perfect marriage. I was completely and totally shocked.

One of my neighbor got divorced after 25 years of marriage, was portraying a lovey dovey image the week before. Quickly remarried and started similar lovey divey theme with the new guy.

I wasn't surprised that they got married quickly. I was surprised that they were keeping a faux facade on social media making others envy their lives while marriage was falling apart and she was already interested in a potential replacement.

Some people are just good at being married

It’s like those men who have wives that die of cancer and then suddenly marry 3 months later. I could never understand it - perhaps they were already seeing these women while their wives have cancer, or perhaps they just can’t stand not being married

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A good friend of mine for the past 15+ years just called me and told me that he and his wife of nearly 20 years have separated and are likely divorcing. I honestly thought they had the perfect marriage. I was completely and totally shocked.

One of my neighbor got divorced after 25 years of marriage, was portraying a lovey dovey image the week before. Quickly remarried and started similar lovey divey theme with the new guy.

Some people are just good at being married

It’s like those men who have wives that die of cancer and then suddenly marry 3 months later. I could never understand it - perhaps they were already seeing these women while their wives have cancer, or perhaps they just can’t stand not being married

I wasn't surprised that they got married quickly. I was surprised that they were keeping a faux facade on social media making others envy their lives while marriage was falling apart and she was already interested in a potential replacement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A good friend of mine for the past 15+ years just called me and told me that he and his wife of nearly 20 years have separated and are likely divorcing. I honestly thought they had the perfect marriage. I was completely and totally shocked.

One of my neighbor got divorced after 25 years of marriage, was portraying a lovey dovey image the week before. Quickly remarried and started similar lovey divey theme with the new guy.

It’s like those men who have wives that die of cancer and then suddenly marry 3 months later. I could never understand it - perhaps they were already seeing these women while their wives have cancer, or perhaps they just can’t stand not being married

Or perhaps it’s none of your business? If I died of cancer, I’d want DH to find the most amazing woman asap (and if he went on a few dates while I was sleeping, so be it, and no, don’t tell me). I wouldn’t want him to wallow in pain. Life is short and the guy’s already been through more than his share.

Of course I don’t wanna die, for the record! And no dating unless I’m terminal, lol!

I too would want him to find somebody but not he should be focusing on his sick wife's care and emotionally supporting his children. There should be a grace period.