Are some people just cheerful, or is she being fake?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I think people need to stop calling others fake. It takes so much energy and effort to put on an act, PP. 99.99% of people aren't going to do that. They might exaggerate part of their personality for the workplace if they find it works for them... but it's not fake in the sense that they already have tendencies to be that way naturally.

I would have to fake it. That's why I worried.

You "would have", so you wouldn't actually fake it, because it's too much work. And why do you need to worry, even if she's putting on act? This is just a transaction, OP. You're not seeking a life partner here. Why are you expending this much mind space on your contractor's personality? You look like the weird one, here, not her.

I am worried I won't get honest feedback from someone who might not be honest with her personality.

(She's an editor.)

In that case, she wouldn't be doing a good job. Personality is irrelevant.

Sure, but if she's being dishonest about one thing, how would I KNOW she's being honest about my work?

How would you know someone who is surly and unpleasant is being honest about your work? Presumably you are able to judge whether or not your editors comments are valid and helpful.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like my sister. She's incredibly positive, optimistic, kind, and bubbly. Always has been. Drives me nuts sometimes because I'm very "I hate everyone here."

[Anonymous]

Some people have to fake it til they make it. I would rather deal with a person in a fake good mood than an irritable jerk.

[Anonymous]

Some people are actually cheerful and some people fake cheerfulness, so both of the things you ask about could be true.

[Anonymous]

Op you may be talking about me. I naturally tend toward sunny, but especially now that I'm sleep deprived with small kids, somedays I need to amp up my enthusiasm a bit to get through things. It's not fake, just some days I need to remind myself to act the way I want to feel. Then when I act sunny I usually feel sunny after all. Also, I'm a nerd who finds editing fun, so if I say I think a project will be fun, I probably mean it

If you told me something like, "It's surprising how you're so positive all the time. I value honest and frank feedback, so please tell me clearly where you think my writing needs to improve. No need to sugarcoat anything, just the facts, please," I would modulate how I communicated with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like my sister. She's incredibly positive, optimistic, kind, and bubbly. Always has been. Drives me nuts sometimes because I'm very "I hate everyone here."

+1

Same

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like my sister. She's incredibly positive, optimistic, kind, and bubbly. Always has been. Drives me nuts sometimes because I'm very "I hate everyone here."

I am going to age myself here by this post reminds of the old MTV show Daria!

[Anonymous]

I am a Hs teacher. Yes some people are genuinely cheerful and optimistic. To another PPs comment I’ve seen no correlation between cheerfulness and intelligence. In fact it’s often to arrogant pessimistic kids who think they know everything who are less academically successful. With the optimism and cheerfulness usually comes with an excitement to learn. It’s really a lovely quality.

[Anonymous]

Personally the "we're going to have so much fun" isn't my cup of tea when talking about work, but I don't consider someone who says that to be faking it.

I prefer to be cheerful. It actually makes me feel better mentally.

[Anonymous]

Its fine to part ways because you guys arent a good fit. But accusing her of being fake isn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like my sister. She's incredibly positive, optimistic, kind, and bubbly. Always has been. Drives me nuts sometimes because I'm very "I hate everyone here."

I am going to age myself here by this post reminds of the old MTV show Daria!

I was going to call myself Daria but didn't know if anyone would get it! -OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op you may be talking about me. I naturally tend toward sunny, but especially now that I'm sleep deprived with small kids, somedays I need to amp up my enthusiasm a bit to get through things. It's not fake, just some days I need to remind myself to act the way I want to feel. Then when I act sunny I usually feel sunny after all. Also, I'm a nerd who finds editing fun, so if I say I think a project will be fun, I probably mean it

If you told me something like, "It's surprising how you're so positive all the time. I value honest and frank feedback, so please tell me clearly where you think my writing needs to improve. No need to sugarcoat anything, just the facts, please," I would modulate how I communicated with you.

This is a lesson many people haven't learned or refuse to learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op you may be talking about me. I naturally tend toward sunny, but especially now that I'm sleep deprived with small kids, somedays I need to amp up my enthusiasm a bit to get through things. It's not fake, just some days I need to remind myself to act the way I want to feel. Then when I act sunny I usually feel sunny after all. Also, I'm a nerd who finds editing fun, so if I say I think a project will be fun, I probably mean it

If you told me something like, "It's surprising how you're so positive all the time. I value honest and frank feedback, so please tell me clearly where you think my writing needs to improve. No need to sugarcoat anything, just the facts, please," I would modulate how I communicated with you.

I super hope you're not copyediting a trilogy of cozies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I think people need to stop calling others fake. It takes so much energy and effort to put on an act, PP. 99.99% of people aren't going to do that. They might exaggerate part of their personality for the workplace if they find it works for them... but it's not fake in the sense that they already have tendencies to be that way naturally.

I would have to fake it. That's why I worried.

You "would have", so you wouldn't actually fake it, because it's too much work. And why do you need to worry, even if she's putting on act? This is just a transaction, OP. You're not seeking a life partner here. Why are you expending this much mind space on your contractor's personality? You look like the weird one, here, not her.

I am worried I won't get honest feedback from someone who might not be honest with her personality.

She will give you honest feedback, but if she's usually very positive, bear in mind that she might couch criticism so constructively that you will have to pay attention to what she wants you to change.

My kids have had music teachers and academic tutors like this. They've learned to listen and pay attention to what actually needs to change, even when it's delivered like this, I kid you not: "Wow! This was very very good! Really very very very very very very good! Now if I can just hear that again, with a tiny bit more vibrato on the E string and articulation at the end of the phrase! But otherwise you did such a wonderful job!...!!!" (Large smile, sparkling eyes, all friendship and enthusiasm). Some people are like that.

This is fair (and your example is exactly what she's like). Thanks.

It’s called “sandwiching”, I have a friend that does this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fire her immediately and hire someone that tells you everything is wrong.

This is what I want. So am I wrong to be concerned?

What if everything isn't wrong?