Are some people just cheerful, or is she being fake?

[Anonymous]

I recently hired a freelance contractor for a project. We chatted a bit online, then switched to email. She was perky throughout the entire interaction, and I realize this might be my dour personality coming out, but...she seemed faked. Who says "We're going to have so much fun!" in a an email? Not worried about the lack of professionalism as much as I am that she's manipulated me into hiring her by being over the top friendly. Or are some people just like this?

[Anonymous]

I think people need to stop calling others fake. It takes so much energy and effort to put on an act, PP. 99.99% of people aren't going to do that. They might exaggerate part of their personality for the workplace if they find it works for them... but it's not fake in the sense that they already have tendencies to be that way naturally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people need to stop calling others fake. It takes so much energy and effort to put on an act, PP. 99.99% of people aren't going to do that. They might exaggerate part of their personality for the workplace if they find it works for them... but it's not fake in the sense that they already have tendencies to be that way naturally.

I would have to fake it. That's why I worried.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people need to stop calling others fake. It takes so much energy and effort to put on an act, PP. 99.99% of people aren't going to do that. They might exaggerate part of their personality for the workplace if they find it works for them... but it's not fake in the sense that they already have tendencies to be that way naturally.

I would have to fake it. That's why I worried.

You "would have", so you wouldn't actually fake it, because it's too much work. And why do you need to worry, even if she's putting on act? This is just a transaction, OP. You're not seeking a life partner here. Why are you expending this much mind space on your contractor's personality? You look like the weird one, here, not her.

[Anonymous]

My friend is like this and it is 100% genuine. She's been called fake a lot and been mocked. Its sad that we are at a point of people being suspicious of happy and cheerful people

[Anonymous]

Wow OP. I'd do some serious self reflection about why you've turned into such a miserable and distrustful person

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently hired a freelance contractor for a project. We chatted a bit online, then switched to email. She was perky throughout the entire interaction, and I realize this might be my dour personality coming out, but...she seemed faked. Who says "We're going to have so much fun!" in a an email? Not worried about the lack of professionalism as much as I am that she's manipulated me into hiring her by being over the top friendly. Or are some people just like this?

I'm a bit of a cynic myself but you're going crazy here. Even if she put her best foot forward in an interview, that's not manipulating you. And why would "over-the-top friendly" be a winning manipulation tactic with you anyway, since you're suspicious of people that are pleasant?

You need a nap.

[Anonymous]

It's just how she is. Better to be overly cheerful than overly dour.

[Anonymous]

I am like this. Some people just are. I was described this way by others at age 9 so I think it's an innate personality thing. Please don't judge her!

[Anonymous]

I don't trust people like that. Sorry not sorry.

[Anonymous]

You decide how you are, she decides how she is, you don't approve of her choice. she isn't letting your choice bother her. You are letting her choice bother you.

[Anonymous]

I think often that level of enthusiasm is often faked cheeriness, but I don't think that means she "manipulated" you into hiring her. It might just mean that this is the work persona she's adopted because it helps her get through the day, or she's found people respond better to it, or she's masking other things. She might be "faking it til she makes it" or using cheerfulness to deal with burnout. You don't know.

Some people may genuinely be like this, though I also think if it feels fake, it probably is. I think you can intuit when someone isn't being genuine.

I only mind fake friendliness when there's a dark side to it. Like I've met people who are very fake friendly and cheerful and then it turns out they are major gossips. This actually is manipulative because they sometimes get you to open up more due to their cheerfulness, and then will share everything you say with other people. But then the issue is not that they are fake cheerful, it's that they are gossips. On it's own, fake cheerfulness is pretty harmless and could actually be nice.

[Anonymous]

She sounds enthusiastic to me.

[Anonymous]

It's really sad you discriminate based on what you perceive to be an overly-sunny personality, OP.

What on earth are you afraid of?!? This is what I don't get.

[Anonymous]

What the worst case scenario? She's pretending to be more excited about doing her piece of the project than she actually is? This is not something worth worrying about.