My girlfriend doesn’t clean when she’s here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you ever go and stay with her? And do you help her clean her place while you're there?

I think if you do that it's reasonable to ask for reciprocation. But, if she does all the traveling to you, and cleans up after herself, then you look like a douche asking her to clean up your place.

No she comes and stays with me. The reason why I brought it up is because I came home from the gym and there was hair on the bathroom floor. I told her I wasn’t trying to fight but it was making me question how it would be if we lived together.

Why don’t you go to her? Maybe she feels that she is already contributing more than her share by being the one to commute 6 hours round trip to spend time together…I seriously doubt you are spending anywhere near an equivalent amount of time cleaning the bathroom floor. I’m sure your pettiness is making her question living with you as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Buy her a vacuum for her next birthday and tell her it's to be used at your place only. She'll soon get the hint.

I wouldn’t bother, I’m sure op’s girlfriend will have fled long before then.

[Anonymous]

Hope your girlfriend is reading this and get out of this relationship ASAP.

[Anonymous]

OP, how does your girlfriend get to/from you place when she comes to visit? I certainly hope you’re at minimum paying for half her gas+ wear and tear on her vehicle or whatever mode of transport she’s taking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you ever go and stay with her? And do you help her clean her place while you're there?

I think if you do that it's reasonable to ask for reciprocation. But, if she does all the traveling to you, and cleans up after herself, then you look like a douche asking her to clean up your place.

No she comes and stays with me. The reason why I brought it up is because I came home from the gym and there was hair on the bathroom floor. I told her I wasn’t trying to fight but it was making me question how it would be if we lived together.

You good have said it in a nice way. Hey Sarah, I love your long hair but can you sweep up the bathroom. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Why should she? She is already bearing the burden of traveling.

It's your house. You need to clean, or pay someone to do so.

[Anonymous]

If you two can't amicably discuss and solve small issues to mutual satisfaction then its a problem.

[Anonymous]

Even Airbnb requires some cleaning from their guests.

[Anonymous]

Dang I spend a lot of time at my boyfriends house and do clean up after myself but I don’t clean his house for him. I wouldn’t think to! I don’t live there and, while he cleans up after himself when he comes to my place, I would never expect him to clean my house for me. Such a weird expectation. Get a roomba OP, you can thank me later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you two can't amicably discuss and solve small issues to mutual satisfaction then its a problem.

No OP can’t have an amicable discussion. He tells her over text, after she’s left, there’s hair on the floor and now I’m questioning how it would be to live with you. What a POS. No one is going to receive that well. More importantly, if something like hair on the floor makes you question how your future is going to be then you don’t need to be in a relationship.

OP is 100% in the wrong here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even Airbnb requires some cleaning from their guests.

So you’re equating it to a business transaction?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why should she? She is already bearing the burden of traveling.

It's your house. You need to clean, or pay someone to do so.

NP. If she's a guest - act like a guest then. I'd be grossed out if a guest left their hair on the bathroom floor. They'd clean up after themselves. If you're a guest in an airbnb you at least sweep sometimes and wash dishes. I don't think OP wants a housekeeper and I think it's right to look at it regarding hygiene/cleanliness in terms of ever living together. So she drives there. She also gets a place to stay, a bf and presumably they go out and do bf/gf things. It's not a lot to ask to clean as if you're living with someone while you're there in a relationship. Stop piling on OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you two can't amicably discuss and solve small issues to mutual satisfaction then its a problem.

No OP can’t have an amicable discussion. He tells her over text, after she’s left, there’s hair on the floor and now I’m questioning how it would be to live with you. What a POS. No one is going to receive that well. More importantly, if something like hair on the floor makes you question how your future is going to be then you don’t need to be in a relationship.

OP is 100% in the wrong here.

He could have used a different approach but cleaning hair off the floor is the basics of cleaning after yourself. I would also wonder how she lives and cleans by herself.

OP - have you ever stayed at her place or does she live with her parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why should she? She is already bearing the burden of traveling.

It's your house. You need to clean, or pay someone to do so.

NP. If she's a guest - act like a guest then. I'd be grossed out if a guest left their hair on the bathroom floor. They'd clean up after themselves. If you're a guest in an airbnb you at least sweep sometimes and wash dishes. I don't think OP wants a housekeeper and I think it's right to look at it regarding hygiene/cleanliness in terms of ever living together. So she drives there. She also gets a place to stay, a bf and presumably they go out and do bf/gf things. It's not a lot to ask to clean as if you're living with someone while you're there in a relationship. Stop piling on OP.

You must live a very precious life if finding a hair in the bathroom seems like such an extraordinary event. Sorry, op is way out of line and I hope the gf figures this out sooner rather than later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you two can't amicably discuss and solve small issues to mutual satisfaction then its a problem.

No OP can’t have an amicable discussion. He tells her over text, after she’s left, there’s hair on the floor and now I’m questioning how it would be to live with you. What a POS. No one is going to receive that well. More importantly, if something like hair on the floor makes you question how your future is going to be then you don’t need to be in a relationship.

OP is 100% in the wrong here.

He could have used a different approach but cleaning hair off the floor is the basics of cleaning after yourself. I would also wonder how she lives and cleans by herself.

OP - have you ever stayed at her place or does she live with her parents?

No, it’s really not. Human beings shed hair. No one is chasing down every lost hair when they visit someone’s house. That’s the sort of thing regular cleaning takes care of. Op thinks his gf should be his maid.