I think my tween needs to lose weight. How to handle?

[Anonymous]

Are you sure this isn't a problem that can't be fixed by just a new pair of pants?

Seriously, by any measure your kid is in a normal weight range (what exactly do you think his ped is going to say?), perhaps his body type just tends to carry weight around his middle? So yeah, perhaps he gains a couple extra pounds--still in a very healthy range--and he just carries them a bit differently than his brothers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he hasn’t had his growth spurt yet, I would definitely leave it alone. Both my kids got pudgy right before their growth spurts and I’m glad I didn’t say anything.

In my family, the kids all get pudgy in winter and then have a growth spurt in the summer. By August, they look tall and skinny. Does this happen in your family, OP?

No, it hasn't in the past.

Maybe his stats are wrong - he said the other day he was 113 pounds but maybe he's closer to 5'0?

Anyway - if you look at him, the middle section is....well, pudgy. And the face too. You wouldn't look at him and say, hey that kid is fat. But he's thick in the middle, and I usually buy "husky" pants so that they work for his waistline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My almost 11yo DD has the same height/weight stats. She started puberty about a year ago. So personally I would cut out either the muffin OR the cereal in the morning. Add an extra egg maybe or other protein. I wouldn’t cut out the after school and k but you can make it healthier depending on what cereal he is eating now. Does he not like any fruit? My DD is muscular but not fat imo. She swims twice a week, does soccer twice a week, walks the dog, plays outside with friends a couple times a week.

He has never eaten fruit. I've forced him to a few times, but he literally gags. I think it's the texture (juicy, slimy) that he can't stand. He will eat it baked into other things, like apple pie, blueberry muffins, banana pancakes. But no way would he just eat a banana for a snack. It's killer!

Not everyone eats fruit. My son hates it, always has. His pediatrician said it was fine and in the range of normal (my mom is the same way).

Let your son eat. Focus on protein and filling meals.

np Does he hate all fruit? My kids didn't like veggies but, love strawberries, raspberies, apples, peaches, plums etc Maybe he hasn't had any good ripe fruit?

Maybe we could just let people who don't like fruit not eat fruit? If someone isn't eating any produce, I'd be concerned, but I know people who just don't like it. I also know people who don't like dairy or eggs or cheese or meat or pasta or rice -- none of them have developed beriberi or been blown away by a puff of wind. They all figured out how to eat in a way that makes them feel good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My almost 11yo DD has the same height/weight stats. She started puberty about a year ago. So personally I would cut out either the muffin OR the cereal in the morning. Add an extra egg maybe or other protein. I wouldn’t cut out the after school and k but you can make it healthier depending on what cereal he is eating now. Does he not like any fruit? My DD is muscular but not fat imo. She swims twice a week, does soccer twice a week, walks the dog, plays outside with friends a couple times a week.

He has never eaten fruit. I've forced him to a few times, but he literally gags. I think it's the texture (juicy, slimy) that he can't stand. He will eat it baked into other things, like apple pie, blueberry muffins, banana pancakes. But no way would he just eat a banana for a snack. It's killer!

Not everyone eats fruit. My son hates it, always has. His pediatrician said it was fine and in the range of normal (my mom is the same way).

Let your son eat. Focus on protein and filling meals.

np Does he hate all fruit? My kids didn't like veggies but, love strawberries, raspberies, apples, peaches, plums etc Maybe he hasn't had any good ripe fruit?

Maybe we could just let people who don't like fruit not eat fruit? If someone isn't eating any produce, I'd be concerned, but I know people who just don't like it. I also know people who don't like dairy or eggs or cheese or meat or pasta or rice -- none of them have developed beriberi or been blown away by a puff of wind. They all figured out how to eat in a way that makes them feel good.

That'd be find for an adult. But I doubt an 11 yr old has tasted all the fruits, and tasted them in all formats. I'm 46 and just got into nectarines last summer, and just started liking mango during the pandemic. So until he's tried freeze dried blueberries in cereal, fruit smoothies, raw fruit at room temp and fridge temp, etc., I wouldn't give up on him.

[Anonymous]

That's totally normal, OP.

All 3 of my boys grew out before up. Their pediatrician said that we didn't need to worry until age 14 if they were still growing out without growing up or growing out faster than up.

So many of their friends were the same. I have a bunch of cute photos of them around ages 11/12 as little pudge-sters at various games with their friends and then the next year, they all look totally different. They had shot up and slimmed down.

[Anonymous]

He sounds absolutely fine to me- so many boys put on a bit of weight at this age. And he is at a healthy weight anyway.

It’s always good to minimize outright junk food and increase fruit/veggies- for anyone and everyone. But I personally would not limit hearty foods to the degree that he isn’t satiated (if that makes sense)- he is beginning a rapid growth period. Better for him IMO to eat a hearty meal and feel satisfied, than to feed light meals and then have him sneaking junk food an hour later KWIM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:110 at 5'2" is not overweight, you nut. Leave him be, he's still growing.

Yep, this is my height/weight as a 45 year old woman, and I’m not pudgy at all! I wear a size 2.

I assume your weight is distributed different because you are an adult woman - boobs, hips, booty, thighs.
11 year old boys are usually scrawny, all elbow, and so if you have a little extra weight it stands out. So have a little sympathy!

Who am I supposed to have sympathy for, the boy who will undoubtedly have a growth spurt soon and become a string bean, or the frantic, weight-obsessed mother? Either way, 110 at 5'2" is not a problem that needs to be solved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:110 at 5'2" is not overweight, you nut. Leave him be, he's still growing.

Plus 1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he hasn’t had his growth spurt yet, I would definitely leave it alone. Both my kids got pudgy right before their growth spurts and I’m glad I didn’t say anything.

This. My son gained 20 pounds the year he was 12 and was definitely on the pudgy side. But then the next year he grew 4 inches without gaining any weight and is back on his height: weight baseline. Kids grow in all sorts of ways.

[Anonymous]

I suspect OP weighs less than her growing son and is afraid that his body reflects poorly on her.

My mom was like this when I was 5'4 and 120 pounds as a young teen - she was 5'4 and 105. She thought I was fat and would just get fatter and fatter. (At 50, I am 5'4 and 115 pounds, but thanks for screwing up my body image, Mom!)

If your son is self-conscious about how his body looks right now, talk to him about how puberty looks different on everyone - he is not the only 11 year old with a pudgy middle and its perfectly normal for him to be built like that. Don't play muffin police or cut off food. Make sure his brothers arent bullying him over it. My kids ate more as tweens before their big growth spurts than they did as teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My almost 11yo DD has the same height/weight stats. She started puberty about a year ago. So personally I would cut out either the muffin OR the cereal in the morning. Add an extra egg maybe or other protein. I wouldn’t cut out the after school and k but you can make it healthier depending on what cereal he is eating now. Does he not like any fruit? My DD is muscular but not fat imo. She swims twice a week, does soccer twice a week, walks the dog, plays outside with friends a couple times a week.

He has never eaten fruit. I've forced him to a few times, but he literally gags. I think it's the texture (juicy, slimy) that he can't stand. He will eat it baked into other things, like apple pie, blueberry muffins, banana pancakes. But no way would he just eat a banana for a snack. It's killer!

Not everyone eats fruit. My son hates it, always has. His pediatrician said it was fine and in the range of normal (my mom is the same way).

Let your son eat. Focus on protein and filling meals.

np Does he hate all fruit? My kids didn't like veggies but, love strawberries, raspberies, apples, peaches, plums etc Maybe he hasn't had any good ripe fruit?

Some kids hate fruit. Some kids hate vegetables. Its not that they haven't had "good" fruit, LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He needs to eat fruit and vegetables, and less baked goods//starch. Tell him to figure out fruits and veg - three of each, that he's willing to eat.

\

11 year old boys are growing and growing fast. Their bodies need carbs. This kid isn't even overweight!

[Anonymous]

I agree with everyone here, but just wanted to add that the pattern of eating a healthy breakfast and not lunch is the Concerta.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My almost 11yo DD has the same height/weight stats. She started puberty about a year ago. So personally I would cut out either the muffin OR the cereal in the morning. Add an extra egg maybe or other protein. I wouldn’t cut out the after school and k but you can make it healthier depending on what cereal he is eating now. Does he not like any fruit? My DD is muscular but not fat imo. She swims twice a week, does soccer twice a week, walks the dog, plays outside with friends a couple times a week.

He has never eaten fruit. I've forced him to a few times, but he literally gags. I think it's the texture (juicy, slimy) that he can't stand. He will eat it baked into other things, like apple pie, blueberry muffins, banana pancakes. But no way would he just eat a banana for a snack. It's killer!

Not everyone eats fruit. My son hates it, always has. His pediatrician said it was fine and in the range of normal (my mom is the same way).

Let your son eat. Focus on protein and filling meals.

np Does he hate all fruit? My kids didn't like veggies but, love strawberries, raspberies, apples, peaches, plums etc Maybe he hasn't had any good ripe fruit?

I find that if I cut up fruit and leave it out, my kids eat it (as do I). Apple slices and mandarin sections are somehow more appealing than the whole fruit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I suspect OP weighs less than her growing son and is afraid that his body reflects poorly on her.

My mom was like this when I was 5'4 and 120 pounds as a young teen - she was 5'4 and 105. She thought I was fat and would just get fatter and fatter. (At 50, I am 5'4 and 115 pounds, but thanks for screwing up my body image, Mom!)

If your son is self-conscious about how his body looks right now, talk to him about how puberty looks different on everyone - he is not the only 11 year old with a pudgy middle and its perfectly normal for him to be built like that. Don't play muffin police or cut off food. Make sure his brothers arent bullying him over it. My kids ate more as tweens before their big growth spurts than they did as teens.

NO! (OP here). I am not worried about how it reflects on me. I want him to be happy and healthy. The American Academy of Pediatrics just recently came out with a big push to be more aggressive in fighting obesity or overweight status with kids/teens. I know my son is not obese or perhaps even technically overweight right now. But he's definitely heavier than most of his friends and I know it bothers him, and I'm just trying to figure out how to help. My top priority is to NOT give him a complex.

And for what it's worth I am not some weight-obsessed skinny mom. I'm solidly average, always have been, and am fine with that.