Why isn’t divorce justified if my wife lets herself slide or withholds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Buddy, no fault divorce has been around a longtime now. You don't have to justify it -- just get a divorce. If you have kids, assume you'll need to do joint custody and may need to pay support if you are the higher earner.

This is very much exactly what you signed up for. The details of your relationship are for you and your wife to figure out, if you can't, split up. No one else cares.

This.

If you mean why won’t anyone agree with you that’s another problem. Whose validation are you seeking?

[Anonymous]

I dunno, maybe if you watched more Andrew Tate videos you'd find the answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Next time include a prenup for weight to hold them accoutable

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2317173/How-relationship-contracts-growing-popularity-Sex-twice-week-I-agree-stay-120lbs.html#ixzz2VFiohPHp

OMG. What strange things are mentioned in the article. Why would any woman want to marry a man who has these types of conditions and wants them written down? Why marry in this case?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dunno, maybe if you watched more Andrew Tate videos you'd find the answer.

LOL love this answer.

I don’t even get the question. OP, you can divorce any time. Just do it and give her a chance to find a real relationship.

[Anonymous]

You simply tell the judge that you want a divorce because your wife is fat and lazy and won't put out. Then the judge will say "This is a no-fault divorce state" and grant the divorce.

Then you can explain that to your kids and to everyone in your social circle. They will say "Of course, she should definitely have sex with you, how could any woman resist your charms?" Then, young women with an acceptable waist-to-hip ratio personally measured and certified by Jordan Peterson will climb into your bed, and you will at last find the happiness you deserve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You signed up to rape someone at will and control their body? Weird.

So true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's wrong to feel entitled to somebody else's body for the sake of your own gratification. Also the reason you wife is "letting herself slide" and "withholding" is because she doesn't want to look cute for or have sex with somebody who feels entitled to her body for his own gratification. You're not treating her like her own person with her own desires, feelings, etc.

As for divorce being justified, I dunno. Depends on how many innocents will be hurt by the divorce.

I’m a woman but I loathe this stance. Of course his wife should be treated like her own person, and likewise, she should be intimate with her husband; it’s part of marriage and if it’s not happening, it’s time for counseling. Nobody should be forced to endure a sexless marriage. And I say this as someone who lost my drive and struggle with this in my own marriage.

He may not be entitled to her body, but he’s entitled to divorce. The part about “letting herself go” does rub me the wrong way, though.

Jesus you are ridiculous move to Missouri with the other hand maids

DP and as psycho feminist as they come but I agree. No woman should be pressured into s3x. No woman should be forced into s3x. But those two central truisms are not incompatible with another truth, 'barring specific exceptional circumstances, people enter into marriage with the expectation of having regular s3x and not having s3x with your spouse will likely lead to a significant degradation in the quality of the relationship, up to and including divorce'.

'No one should have to endure a sexless marriage' is directly compatible with 'no one should be forced to have sex they don't want to have'. Both mean that both parties in the relationship have agency and can advocate for their own needs. Both mean that all relationships are voluntary, as they should be.

Someone shouldn't have to have sex with someone who's being a jerk to them, though. Saying it's part of marriage comes with the implication that it's a functional marriage, where people are reasonably nice to one another and try to get along. When that degrades, sex diminishes too, because they're connected. That's a big part of OP's problem I believe.

I said no one should have sex if they don't want to. No qualifiers on why they don't. You are correct that the implication is that it is a functional marriage, but I know women in marriages where they have let it slide for long periods of time because it just isn't as important to them and that has degraded the relationship too. Not prioritizing s3x degrades the marriage just as much as not pulling your weight or anything else.

I'm not saying women who aren't having s3x with their husbands are bad wives, there are a lot of reasons this happens, I'm just saying that prioritizing s3x is a part of keeping a marriage healthy (an activity that has MANY parts) and that just like it is ok for a person in the relationship to say 'I'm unhappy and don't want to have s3x' it is also ok for the other person to say, 'I don't want to live without s3x and this is what will push us over the hump into divorce'. In that situation I don't think either party is wrong.

OP's problem is that he is a misogynist. Because he does not actually want a divorce, he wants to coerce his wife into having s3x with him. Because the concept of a 'justified' divorce is very antiquated and he is just bitter that the only choices before him are stay with someone he doesn't like or accept the vast logistical and financial consequences of divorce.

[Anonymous]

You don't sound like the kind of person who cares if something is justified or not.

[Anonymous]

Divorce will never be justified because the circumstances leading to it are not factual.

Divorce or not, but justification should never be a factor. Have the emotional maturity to make a decision and have your back.

[Anonymous]

You have numerous options. You can divorce for any reason you want. You can also declare your sexless marriage open.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You signed up to rape someone at will and control their body? Weird.

Your reading comprehension is terrible! OP wants to divorce and you shout rape?!? Usually it's the man getting raped in a divorce proceeding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not what I signed up for.

What did SHE sign up for — and is she getting it? If you’re going to be entitled and transactional, it goes both ways. Also, pictures would be nice. If your wife’s body has changed slightly with time and perhaps pregnancies, and you’re a demanding wildebeest, that would be useful to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not what I signed up for.

What did SHE sign up for — and is she getting it? If you’re going to be entitled and transactional, it goes both ways. Also, pictures would be nice. If your wife’s body has changed slightly with time and perhaps pregnancies, and you’re a demanding wildebeest, that would be useful to know.

+1. OP, did you keep your girlish figure into middle age? Going bald or gray? ED?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You simply tell the judge that you want a divorce because your wife is fat and lazy and won't put out. Then the judge will say "This is a no-fault divorce state" and grant the divorce.

Then you can explain that to your kids and to everyone in your social circle. They will say "Of course, she should definitely have sex with you, how could any woman resist your charms?" Then, young women with an acceptable waist-to-hip ratio personally measured and certified by Jordan Peterson will climb into your bed, and you will at last find the happiness you deserve.

This seems like the best path to happiness for OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's wrong to feel entitled to somebody else's body for the sake of your own gratification. Also the reason you wife is "letting herself slide" and "withholding" is because she doesn't want to look cute for or have sex with somebody who feels entitled to her body for his own gratification. You're not treating her like her own person with her own desires, feelings, etc.

As for divorce being justified, I dunno. Depends on how many innocents will be hurt by the divorce.

I’m a woman but I loathe this stance. Of course his wife should be treated like her own person, and likewise, she should be intimate with her husband; it’s part of marriage and if it’s not happening, it’s time for counseling. Nobody should be forced to endure a sexless marriage. And I say this as someone who lost my drive and struggle with this in my own marriage.

He may not be entitled to her body, but he’s entitled to divorce. The part about “letting herself go” does rub me the wrong way, though.

Jesus you are ridiculous move to Missouri with the other hand maids

DP and as psycho feminist as they come but I agree. No woman should be pressured into s3x. No woman should be forced into s3x. But those two central truisms are not incompatible with another truth, 'barring specific exceptional circumstances, people enter into marriage with the expectation of having regular s3x and not having s3x with your spouse will likely lead to a significant degradation in the quality of the relationship, up to and including divorce'.

'No one should have to endure a sexless marriage' is directly compatible with 'no one should be forced to have sex they don't want to have'. Both mean that both parties in the relationship have agency and can advocate for their own needs. Both mean that all relationships are voluntary, as they should be.

Someone shouldn't have to have sex with someone who's being a jerk to them, though. Saying it's part of marriage comes with the implication that it's a functional marriage, where people are reasonably nice to one another and try to get along. When that degrades, sex diminishes too, because they're connected. That's a big part of OP's problem I believe.

+1

I think modern day society needs to have their vows changed to something like, "To have an to hold only

- If you don't change any part of you
- if you don't treat me differently
- if you are never too tired to have sex with me;