The term orphan

[Anonymous]

I lost both my parents in college in my early 20s. I never considered myself an orphan. To me an orphan is an underage child who has lost their parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I lost both my parents in college in my early 20s. I never considered myself an orphan. To me an orphan is an underage child who has lost their parents.

The most important words in your definition.

We know that all languages change over time. We also know that words can have an official meaning and other meanings that are informal or restricted to subcultures of society.

We can also reason that while we would not personally use that term as an adult who lost one or both parents, there’s no harm done if someone else self-describes that way out of either intense grief or as a tongue in cheek statement. I don’t think any adults are using the term to swindle a nice warm union suit from the Policemen’s Wives Charity for Orphans And Foundlings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I lost both my parents in college in my early 20s. I never considered myself an orphan. To me an orphan is an underage child who has lost their parents.

The most important words in your definition.

We know that all languages change over time. We also know that words can have an official meaning and other meanings that are informal or restricted to subcultures of society.

We can also reason that while we would not personally use that term as an adult who lost one or both parents, there’s no harm done if someone else self-describes that way out of either intense grief or as a tongue in cheek statement. I don’t think any adults are using the term to swindle a nice warm union suit from the Policemen’s Wives Charity for Orphans And Foundlings.

Yeah, this isn't one of those words.

[Anonymous]

This would bother me as my dad is an actual orphan. He grew up in an orphanage in Chicago and on his 18th birthday they said have a nice life and he was throw into an outside world he knew zero about.

[Anonymous]

I lost both my parents as an adult and I find their word choice dramatic and attention-seeking.

However; I wish there was a word to describe how one feels when both parents die and you don't have those mentors to talk with anymore, and you have now moved into their position. You do feel "orphaned" but that is not an appropriate word as it minimizes what orphaned kids go through.

[Anonymous]

I’ve heard it from adults and I thought it was inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

I lost both parents when I was in my 20s, and while it’s not a term I used, I get how unmooring it is to be without parents as an adult, so I understand why someone else might.

You lose your institutional memory, and that’s hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is an episode of curb your enthusiasm.

Yes, Little Orphan Funkhauser!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I lost both my parents in college in my early 20s. I never considered myself an orphan. To me an orphan is an underage child who has lost their parents.

The most important words in your definition.

We know that all languages change over time. We also know that words can have an official meaning and other meanings that are informal or restricted to subcultures of society.

We can also reason that while we would not personally use that term as an adult who lost one or both parents, there’s no harm done if someone else self-describes that way out of either intense grief or as a tongue in cheek statement. I don’t think any adults are using the term to swindle a nice warm union suit from the Policemen’s Wives Charity for Orphans And Foundlings.

Yeah, this isn't one of those words.

Exactly. The relativism and special snowflake syndrome needs to stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I lost both my parents as an adult and I find their word choice dramatic and attention-seeking.

However; I wish there was a word to describe how one feels when both parents die and you don't have those mentors to talk with anymore, and you have now moved into their position. You do feel "orphaned" but that is not an appropriate word as it minimizes what orphaned kids go through.

There is a way of expressing it, both my parents have passed like the hundreds of other people who have lost their parents in their 50s or 60s.

I lost parent earlier so I don't have much empathy for a 60 something year old feeling unmoored.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I lost both my parents as an adult and I find their word choice dramatic and attention-seeking.

However; I wish there was a word to describe how one feels when both parents die and you don't have those mentors to talk with anymore, and you have now moved into their position. You do feel "orphaned" but that is not an appropriate word as it minimizes what orphaned kids go through.

There is a way of expressing it, both my parents have passed like the hundreds of other people who have lost their parents in their 50s or 60s.

I lost parent earlier so I don't have much empathy for a 60 something year old feeling unmoored.

The lack of empathy may be a direct result of your experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I lost both my parents as an adult and I find their word choice dramatic and attention-seeking.

However; I wish there was a word to describe how one feels when both parents die and you don't have those mentors to talk with anymore, and you have now moved into their position. You do feel "orphaned" but that is not an appropriate word as it minimizes what orphaned kids go through.

There is a way of expressing it, both my parents have passed like the hundreds of other people who have lost their parents in their 50s or 60s.

I lost parent earlier so I don't have much empathy for a 60 something year old feeling unmoored.

The lack of empathy may be a direct result of your experience.

Adults are designed to lose their parents. It sucks, but there's a reason there isn't a special word for it whereas there is for children who have. People don't get to self-label with an inaccurate term of sympathy just because they're sad about what was always inevitable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Recently some adult friends of mine called themselves orphans, and I suppose they are, as they’ve lost both of their parents. But …. They are in their 50s and 60s. And lost their mum only in the last 5 years (father in last 10-20 years).

I was taken aback at the term. Do adults call themselves orphans? I have no experience, I have both of my parents still. But I always thought of orphans as children.

This is a deeply offensive term, OP.

Do better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Recently some adult friends of mine called themselves orphans, and I suppose they are, as they’ve lost both of their parents. But …. They are in their 50s and 60s. And lost their mum only in the last 5 years (father in last 10-20 years).

I was taken aback at the term. Do adults call themselves orphans? I have no experience, I have both of my parents still. But I always thought of orphans as children.

This is a deeply offensive term, OP.

Do better.

What is offensive here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This would bother me as my dad is an actual orphan. He grew up in an orphanage in Chicago and on his 18th birthday they said have a nice life and he was throw into an outside world he knew zero about.

What did he do? How did he survive?