The term orphan

[Anonymous]

Recently some adult friends of mine called themselves orphans, and I suppose they are, as they’ve lost both of their parents. But …. They are in their 50s and 60s. And lost their mum only in the last 5 years (father in last 10-20 years).

I was taken aback at the term. Do adults call themselves orphans? I have no experience, I have both of my parents still. But I always thought of orphans as children.

[Anonymous]

I haven't heard an adult who lost parents in their 50s and 60s refer to themselves as orphans. Seems attention seeking.

[Anonymous]

You have both of your parents, they don't. If they feel orphaned, why would you begrudge them the term?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have both of your parents, they don't. If they feel orphaned, why would you begrudge them the term?

Not op. But I don't have both my parents and as much as that can suck at times it's not anything like the experience my SO had losing both parents as a child and the turmoil and trauma that causes.
So yeah I'd be disgusted by a person 50+ years old who had parents their entire formative years well into mid life and likely has a spouse and kids of their own whining about being an orphan

[Anonymous]

I have a close friend who lost both parents at age 11 (we have been friends since before that tragedy so I saw first hand how it affected her). If someone age 60 who recently lost both parents claimed to be an “orphan” I’d be kind of taken aback, yes. Every elderly person is an orphan unless their parents live to be over 100 I guess. It’s not the same as being an actual orphan aka a child without parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have both of your parents, they don't. If they feel orphaned, why would you begrudge them the term?

“Feel orphaned”? What if I “feel like a POC” and call myself one even though I’m not? Is that also ok?

[Anonymous]

It's a misuse of the term.

noun
noun: orphan; plural noun: orphans

1.
a child whose parents are dead.
"he was left an orphan as a small boy"



Not that it's easy to lose a parent, but your friends are idiots.

[Anonymous]

I have heard an adult say they feel like an orphan even though they were adults when they lost their parents. How heartless to question them!

[Anonymous]

Interesting. The people I know who have actually lost parents before they became adults themselves never use that term.

I haven't heard it, but I get what they are saying. At some point, we need to stop being language police and let people express themselves. Some people are hit really, really hard when they lose both parents, regardless of age. And they are expressing that in terms that have meaning for them.

[Anonymous]

I don’t find it weird. I think being orphaned as an adult is of course very very different than being orphaned as a child but I think it’s still the correct term if people want to use it.

[Anonymous]

My mother used that term when her father died and we all shut her down. An orphan is a CHILD who’s lost both parents, not an adult. It’s being dramatic. A child can’t live in a home without an adult (parent). An adult can live in a home without their parent. It’s ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

I think depending on their relationship with their parents, even an adult finding themselves without can be a very jarring and painful experience.

It’s not a term I would use myself, but I also don’t engage in being the suffering or emotion police the way some people do.

I’d probably consider why you are so protective of the word orphan? Why does it bother you so much that this person uses it? Is your relationship with your parents not such that you would feel unmoored by their passing? If they’ve passed, have you fried to wall off that pain in some degree? It says more about you that you’re so irritated by this instead of just filing it under “people gonna people”.

[Anonymous]

My mom lost her mom at 14 and her dad at age 46.

She called herself an orphan after she lost her dad.

It was pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting. The people I know who have actually lost parents before they became adults themselves never use that term.

I haven't heard it, but I get what they are saying. At some point, we need to stop being language police and let people express themselves. Some people are hit really, really hard when they lose both parents, regardless of age. And they are expressing that in terms that have meaning for them.

Disagree. We need to be more protective of words and meanings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother used that term when her father died and we all shut her down. An orphan is a CHILD who’s lost both parents, not an adult. It’s being dramatic. A child can’t live in a home without an adult (parent). An adult can live in a home without their parent. It’s ridiculous.

Good for you and your siblings.