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Less gender identity-focused private school recommendation for a non-religious family
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Anonymous
| Many of the fallacious claims people have made in this discussion remind me of the claims back in the 1980s that teaching students about why and how to use condoms would make them become more sexual active. |
Anonymous
It is stressful to be pushed to identify on gender or sexuality before one is ready too. Why push it? |
Anonymous
Dang! What school is asking to identify sexuality?!? Oh! None. |
Anonymous
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It's been interesting to watch how in the past five years or so (starting with Trump's Presidency) it has become impossible to question certain core tenets of the left. These sacred topics would be deeply strange to a progressive in 2010 if she could fast-forward to today. They are, in no particular order: masking in public places; positions on trans issues; anti-racism / race essentialism; and complete blind trust in certain media and government organizations (and hatred of others). I think I understand why this happened; there was (correctly) a deep fear of what Trump might do to America. In response, the only moral thing to do was to completely and totally embrace "the resistance." This meant subscribing to the Post (Democracy Dies in Darkness), supporting "the science" during the pandemic (meaning the people running NIH and CDC who didn't like Trump), supporting BLM and its adjacent parties no matter the inconvenient facts about the anti-racist movement; and, in this case, unquestioningly following the idea that gender identity is completely subjective and that this "fact" should be taught at an early age. I actually did all of these things for a while, because I wanted to fight what I saw as a real threat of authoritarianism in this country (I still do fear this, actually.)
Unfortunately, based on the comments to this OP and many others on this site, the left has become authoritarian, too, in response to the threat from the right. The poster simply wants a school that is a little less heavy-handed on gender subjectivity, and she is accused on being fascist, MAGA, etc. The responses are so predictable that it's gotten boring. I wonder when this fever will break, if ever. In-group political identity--and the belief system that is "accepted"--has become the defining religion for many Americans--and certainly most residents of the DC area. The left needs to start to realize that they have shed small-l liberalism in their quest for righteousness. Regarding the poster's question on a less gender identity-focused private for a non-religious family, I can only point you towards the worst offenders when it comes to progressive groupthink. I would say that GDS is far and away the worst, followed by Sidwell. The Episcopal Schools are very progressive but probably a bit more muted. Independent Catholic-wise, SR is as progressive as possible without getting a Diocesan slapdown while Visi will be more conservative. Good luck. |
Anonymous
So, one of the ways that people try and control the narrative is this constant confusing of gender and sexuality. No one, literally no one, is asking kids to identify their sexuality in a classroom. So, the fact that you're conflating the two is a sign that either you're listening to people who are manipulating you, or you're trying to manipulate us. It's also stressful to have people assume your gender. Teachers and classmates have always used pronouns to talk to and about students. Teachers in infant rooms use pronouns to talk to and about students. The question that is being asked is "do you want us to keep using the pronouns we've been using, or would you prefer something else." |
Anonymous
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Liberal democrat here. I also think it’s a trend and that the schools are putting way too much pressure on kids to reflect on their gender identities. It did not serve my child well (I’m talking months of anxiety and school avoidance - it’s a young child).
There is a growing backlash in the UK and elsewhere over this. It’s fair to assume that nothing you think you know about this topic is grounded in any data or evidence. I’ve looked, hard. I can’t figure out why exactly this started taking off in the past 4-6 years, but it’s clear that something changed and our collective abhorrence of Trunpism may have led to, ahem, an overcorrection. |
Anonymous
The question is not being asked which pronoun. It is specifically, how do you identify yourself, which leads to some kids who haven't focused on it, and may not know, to start questioning it. Why is it anyone's business before the kid has decided to share????? You can teach acceptance without asking a direct question. And middle schoolers are VERY CONFUSED about separating gender and sexual orientation. |
Anonymous
+1. It's stressful because we are asking kids if they feel like a boy or a girl, disregarding biology and the structuring role that gender has played for millennia for good or bad. If I were a kid today I would be asking myself if the way I feel is the way I should feel for girl. I would wonder if the reason why I feel different is because I'm in the wrong gender. I would probably like to call myself non-binary because I would feel too complex a being to be reduce to one of the genders. I feel bad for kids these days. At the very least they should be able to look up to adults to find guidance, but no. Parents are confused into thinking their kids know something new about gender. We are all a mix of ying and yang and there is need to encourage this navel gazing trend where everyone is looking for their own personal labels to feel important. |
Anonymous
I don't understand this. If you haven't given it any thought, you're probably cis gender, so just use pronouns you've always used and move on. It is much more stressful to be trans or non-binary and feel like you can't say that out loud. |
Anonymous
This plus infinity. It’s amazing to me how people can’t see this. |
Anonymous
I WAS TALKING ABOUT 12 and 13 YEAR OLDS |
Anonymous
| OP- so wish I had a good answer for you. DC are in a Catholic school and I feel they have had far less of this influence. It certainly was a part of their discussion and they have schoolmates that are in a questioning phase. IMO is started much later than our public school cohorts which I appreciated. All kids are welcomed in ideation as they figure this all out for themselves but their is no overt expression in school and the later timeline in their development was positive. |
Anonymous
Maybe not but my 6th grader told me that 1/3 of one of his classes was gender non-conforming. This numbers do not translate to the real world. |
Anonymous
| OP, your own kids sound like they were more influenced by their peer group as opposed to school curriculum. Teens are pretty open these days in terms of non-binary gender identity. I don’t think the school has quite as much power as you are attributing. |
Anonymous
This x a billion! So well put. Thank you. |