Neighbor child inappropriate touching 4yo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd move. I'd totally move away from that evil monster.

He's a struggling 6 year old. Not a monster.

No he’s a monster and this mom is an enabler

Six year olds cannot be monsters. He's being failed by the adults in his life. It's tragic.

He has a mental condition.

[Anonymous]

OP is the monster for allowing this not the kid

[Anonymous]

Was it the kid, or was it the dad initiating this? That is what I would be pondering.

[Anonymous]

Hi everyone it’s op. I’m not a troll. I’m also not a helicopter mom, that is true. But I don’t let my four year old roam the neighborhood. I was inside when this happened and my kids were playing outside with a bunch of other kids in our fenced backyard. According to my son and our outdoor cameras the boy came and got him and took him over to his house. It took literally the time it takes for pasta water to boil because that’s what I’m inside doing when it happened. The other children did not notice he was gone and neither did I until the dad brought him back. Do none of you let your kids play in your backyard without watching them every second? I thought it was ok but now I see I’ll have to be more vigilant even in this scenario. .

[Anonymous]

Yep, this is a situation where you have to be aware of what you can control, in service to and for the safety of your kid. While it *feels* unfair to make your kid go inside when the 6-year-old shows up, that is the right answer and the thing you can control. And as long as the 6-y-o is roaming unsupervised, you need to supervise your kid outside 100% of the time.

[Anonymous]

You can't control the 6-year old but you are crazy not to be supervising your 4-year old better. I would never let my 4 year old into somebody's house without me. And then posting about it on DCUM. Pretty soon you'll be posting about a lot worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can't control the 6-year old but you are crazy not to be supervising your 4-year old better. I would never let my 4 year old into somebody's house without me. And then posting about it on DCUM. Pretty soon you'll be posting about a lot worse.

All of this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi everyone it’s op. I’m not a troll. I’m also not a helicopter mom, that is true. But I don’t let my four year old roam the neighborhood. I was inside when this happened and my kids were playing outside with a bunch of other kids in our fenced backyard. According to my son and our outdoor cameras the boy came and got him and took him over to his house. It took literally the time it takes for pasta water to boil because that’s what I’m inside doing when it happened. The other children did not notice he was gone and neither did I until the dad brought him back. Do none of you let your kids play in your backyard without watching them every second? I thought it was ok but now I see I’ll have to be more vigilant even in this scenario. .

Supervising a 4 year old when they’re outside =\= being a helicopter mom.

[Anonymous]

I would say, that kudos to that kids dad for telling you. But what else has happened that someone didn't see.

Sorry OP you can't leave your 4 year old outside alone even if you aren't worried about some kid, but in this situation HELL no! You owe this to your child. You don't put them in a situation where this happens. what happens when your child does this with a playmate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi everyone it’s op. I’m not a troll. I’m also not a helicopter mom, that is true. But I don’t let my four year old roam the neighborhood. I was inside when this happened and my kids were playing outside with a bunch of other kids in our fenced backyard. According to my son and our outdoor cameras the boy came and got him and took him over to his house. It took literally the time it takes for pasta water to boil because that’s what I’m inside doing when it happened. The other children did not notice he was gone and neither did I until the dad brought him back. Do none of you let your kids play in your backyard without watching them every second? I thought it was ok but now I see I’ll have to be more vigilant even in this scenario. .

But the kid wasn't in your backyard? He left, and went somewhere else? Where he got his penis touched????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi everyone it’s op. I’m not a troll. I’m also not a helicopter mom, that is true. But I don’t let my four year old roam the neighborhood. I was inside when this happened and my kids were playing outside with a bunch of other kids in our fenced backyard. According to my son and our outdoor cameras the boy came and got him and took him over to his house. It took literally the time it takes for pasta water to boil because that’s what I’m inside doing when it happened. The other children did not notice he was gone and neither did I until the dad brought him back. Do none of you let your kids play in your backyard without watching them every second? I thought it was ok but now I see I’ll have to be more vigilant even in this scenario. .

The issue here is that your 4yr old is not ready to be left alone in the backyard. He has demonstrated that he is willing to leave the yard with someone else. While I get that the 6yr old touching your son is inappropriate, think of what else could have happened. What if a stranger has come to the fence and asked your 4yr old to come with him? You were inside boiling water and the other kids didn’t see him leave. Now where is your son?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi everyone it’s op. I’m not a troll. I’m also not a helicopter mom, that is true. But I don’t let my four year old roam the neighborhood. I was inside when this happened and my kids were playing outside with a bunch of other kids in our fenced backyard. According to my son and our outdoor cameras the boy came and got him and took him over to his house. It took literally the time it takes for pasta water to boil because that’s what I’m inside doing when it happened. The other children did not notice he was gone and neither did I until the dad brought him back. Do none of you let your kids play in your backyard without watching them every second? I thought it was ok but now I see I’ll have to be more vigilant even in this scenario. .

Honestly, no. I let my kids (9, 7 and 3.5) unsupervised only when alone. When we have friends over and house is crowded, I only let them play inside. This is mainly because of my 3 year old (I would be fine letting my 9 and 7 year old alone with friends anywhere).

Also, I would not let my 3 year old alone with a difficult kid or a kid I know my son might have an issue with

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi everyone it’s op. I’m not a troll. I’m also not a helicopter mom, that is true. But I don’t let my four year old roam the neighborhood. I was inside when this happened and my kids were playing outside with a bunch of other kids in our fenced backyard. According to my son and our outdoor cameras the boy came and got him and took him over to his house. It took literally the time it takes for pasta water to boil because that’s what I’m inside doing when it happened. The other children did not notice he was gone and neither did I until the dad brought him back. Do none of you let your kids play in your backyard without watching them every second? I thought it was ok but now I see I’ll have to be more vigilant even in this scenario. .

I’m not a helicopter parent, OP, so I get it. Allowing your 4year old child to play outside, especially with older siblings seems very reasonable to me. Really, it sounds like ODD kid is the one who needs intense supervision. He’s not getting it. The parents are negligent for letting him out, but yeah, you can’t let your kids out unsupervised if he’s around.

btw, ABA can be used for ODD and it sounds like a worthy suggestion for this particular kid. Would also help your situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi everyone it’s op. I’m not a troll. I’m also not a helicopter mom, that is true. But I don’t let my four year old roam the neighborhood. I was inside when this happened and my kids were playing outside with a bunch of other kids in our fenced backyard. According to my son and our outdoor cameras the boy came and got him and took him over to his house. It took literally the time it takes for pasta water to boil because that’s what I’m inside doing when it happened. The other children did not notice he was gone and neither did I until the dad brought him back. Do none of you let your kids play in your backyard without watching them every second? I thought it was ok but now I see I’ll have to be more vigilant even in this scenario. .

The issue here is that your 4yr old is not ready to be left alone in the backyard. He has demonstrated that he is willing to leave the yard with someone else. While I get that the 6yr old touching your son is inappropriate, think of what else could have happened. What if a stranger has come to the fence and asked your 4yr old to come with him? You were inside boiling water and the other kids didn’t see him leave. Now where is your son?

OP, does your son know that there is a rule that he may not leave the yard without your permission and he may not go into another home without permission? A four year old might definitely go with another kid even if there is a rule, so that's not a fail-safe, but if you haven't established those strict boundaries about what he is allowed/not allowed to do-now is the time. If I felt another child was a danger to mine, I would tell the child and the parents that they are not allowed in my yard and home and be really consistent about sending the kid away if he shows up. It doesn't feel good to exclude a kid but maybe it will be the thing that makes the parents get serious about addressing his behavior.

[Anonymous]

Thia child should not be allowed on your property.

Your 4 year old should be able to play in your own fenced back yard with minimal supervision! That is the whole reason to have a fenced backyard with young children.

Do you have a tall fence? If so i would keep it locked from the inside.