Neighbor child inappropriate touching 4yo
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Anonymous
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We’ve been having issues for years with a neighbor boy (6) being violent toward our kids. Examples include: hitting, pushing, bloodying nose, hitting with bike, etc. FWIW, the boy has been diagnosed with ODD. There’s also been problems in the neighborhood with him lying and stealing. We try to limit the amount that our children play with him based on these issues but it’s really difficult because the parents let him run wild and he will join whatever gang of kids is playing on the neighborhood. Several parents have spoken with this boys parents and they have agreed to watch the boy while he is playing with the children but even when they’re watching it doesn’t seem to stop the bad behavior.
Today I found out from the dad that the boy touched our four year old son on the penis while they were playing. Apparently the boy asked my son into his house and then showed his penis to my son. He asked him to show his penis too and then touched it and asked him to touch his. I’m feeling very conflicted. I know some exploration is normal but given the age difference and this child’s other problems and the delight he takes in breaking rules This was the last straw for me in dealing with this boy and his constant strife, and I have let the parents know this is not appropriate and I don’t want their son alone with mine ever again. Obviously cannot stop him from playing in the neighborhood and it seems unfair to make my kids come in if he is out. But what else can I do? Some friends are telling me to report it, but that seems like too much. I don’t know what to think. Dcum am I overreacting? Underreacting? I don’t want to unfairly demonize a child but I want to keep my kids safe. My mom thinks we should move |
Anonymous
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I don’t think you are overreacting. I would be worried too. Why is your 4 year old going to other people’s houses alone? That should not happen either. I have a 3.5 year old and can’t let him out of my sight. I don’t think it will change in 6 months. You need to watch your children too.
That’s the only thing I can think of… I don’t think you can demand the boy’s parents to not let him out in his own (though that’s definitely what should happen). I would be so worried that my 4 year old was alone with this boy in his house. I would never let that happen at such a young age. |
Anonymous
| Why on earth is your 4 year old outside unsupervised? The fact that he went into this kids’ house and you didn’t know about it is pretty alarming. That’s on you, you need to be providing much more supervision than this at age 4 |
Anonymous
| Plus one that you’re not supervising your child enough. You’re lucky it wasn’t an adult in a strange house wanting to touch your sons penis. You should be able to see him at all times at that age. |
Anonymous
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You referred to the "age difference" but the age difference between 6 and 4 is pretty much a non-issue. Don't act like a teenager touched your child's penis.
Knowing the problems with this other kid I have to agree with PPs who have pointed out that you were negligent in your own supervision of your preschooler with known risk to him. You need to step up your game. |
Anonymous
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I would definitely supervise your kid more closely since you are aware there is a neighborhood boy around who is a problem. Your kid is 4. Where were you?
Even though it sounds like the neighbor is a huge problem, what happened is not that big of a deal. It's relatively normal. I would be more concerned about the bloody nose and being hit with his bicycle. |
Anonymous
| Anyone have a fenced backyard? Play there and don't include the kid for awhile. |
Anonymous
| I'd move. I'd totally move away from that evil monster. |
Anonymous
| Why was your 4 year old outside unsupervised? Get a clue, OP. |
Anonymous
+1. Also, a 6 yo touching a 4 yo is very very different from an older child or teenager (or... god forbid, an adult). |
Anonymous
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Sending a 4 year old off unsupervised is not age appropriate. Stop doing that.
I don't think what the 6 year old did is age appropriate. So I would be alarmed and concerned that the 6 year old had learned the behavior from someone else. I would consider moving if that was an option. But that won’t help you if you won’t supervise your own child. |
Anonymous
| Why weren’t you watching your 4 year old? |
Anonymous
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my gut is saying op is a troll.
red flag = unsupervised 4 and 6yo |
Anonymous
I don't know if OP is a troll or not, but during 2020, when kids were home and parents were working, we had *multiple* DCUM moms say they let their 4 and 5 year olds run around the neighborhood without adult supervision in packs of kids and they were "OMG JUST FINE!!!" They threw fits when they were told kids that age need adult suoervision and called the responsible parents "helicopter moms." These people definitely do exist. |
Anonymous
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Why is your 4yo outside alone? How could he go into this kid’s house without you knowing?
I have a 5yo and can’t imagine letting her roam around outside alone. |