Boyfriend: “no one’s in love”, while laughing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give him a break, he can't say he loves you for the first time right in front of his friend who was teasing him about it.

Why don’t you think it’s because he isn’t in love with her?

No

I asked why

I believe it was a defense mechanism from being put on the spot. I’d be willing to be he actually DOES love you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. He’s not that into you. If he was, and was just embarrassed, he would have laughed and said nothing. But that’s not what happened. Better to know now. Sorry, OP.

+1. Or really, it sounds like OP is way more into him than he is into her, which is functionally the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. He’s not that into you. If he was, and was just embarrassed, he would have laughed and said nothing. But that’s not what happened. Better to know now. Sorry, OP.

+1. Or really, it sounds like OP is way more into him than he is into her, which is functionally the same thing.

OP - this was an honest moment. He is not in love with you. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. He’s not that into you. If he was, and was just embarrassed, he would have laughed and said nothing. But that’s not what happened. Better to know now. Sorry, OP.

+1. Or really, it sounds like OP is way more into him than he is into her, which is functionally the same thing.

Wrong. I did something similar with my husband when we first started dating. I knew I loved him but I didn’t think he felt the same. My sister, in front of him, and said, “oo you’ve got the love bug for sure”. I rolled my eyes, waved my hand, and said “love bug my arse”. I was mortified that I was put on the spot and didn’t want him, or anyone for that matter, to know how she was right because how humiliating would it have been if he didn’t feel the same or this scared him away because it was too soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. He’s not that into you. If he was, and was just embarrassed, he would have laughed and said nothing. But that’s not what happened. Better to know now. Sorry, OP.

+1. Or really, it sounds like OP is way more into him than he is into her, which is functionally the same thing.

Wrong. I did something similar with my husband when we first started dating. I knew I loved him but I didn’t think he felt the same. My sister, in front of him, and said, “oo you’ve got the love bug for sure”. I rolled my eyes, waved my hand, and said “love bug my arse”. I was mortified that I was put on the spot and didn’t want him, or anyone for that matter, to know how she was right because how humiliating would it have been if he didn’t feel the same or this scared him away because it was too soon.

You are a woman and that was a good way to handle that. This guy is a man. Not the same sorry!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. He’s not that into you. If he was, and was just embarrassed, he would have laughed and said nothing. But that’s not what happened. Better to know now. Sorry, OP.

+1. Or really, it sounds like OP is way more into him than he is into her, which is functionally the same thing.

Wrong. I did something similar with my husband when we first started dating. I knew I loved him but I didn’t think he felt the same. My sister, in front of him, and said, “oo you’ve got the love bug for sure”. I rolled my eyes, waved my hand, and said “love bug my arse”. I was mortified that I was put on the spot and didn’t want him, or anyone for that matter, to know how she was right because how humiliating would it have been if he didn’t feel the same or this scared him away because it was too soon.

You are a woman and that was a good way to handle that. This guy is a man. Not the same sorry!!

What the heck does gender have to do with being insecure?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. He’s not that into you. If he was, and was just embarrassed, he would have laughed and said nothing. But that’s not what happened. Better to know now. Sorry, OP.

+1000

[Anonymous]

“Why are you so amazing?” Ugh, that line just turns my stomach.

[Anonymous]

He’s not ready for a serious relationship right now, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Why are you so amazing?” Ugh, that line just turns my stomach.

A man calls the woman he’s with amazing and somehow he’s still wrong. Now that’s amazing.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know but if he really DOES love her, I think he’ll bring up the topic in some satisfactory way, soon.

[Anonymous]

Geez people are being hard on this guy.

I'm 45 years old, super successful in my career, and have been very happily together with DH for 22 years. This sounds totally like something I would have said. Now. Or 22 years ago. There are a million reasons for why he deflected like this that don't mean he's not in love with OP. By the same coin toss, he may have said it because he's not in love with her.

Basically, this one interaction sheds zero light on whether he is in love with her or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Why are you so amazing?” Ugh, that line just turns my stomach.

A man calls the woman he’s with amazing and somehow he’s still wrong. Now that’s amazing.

+1 I'm a woman but it's morbidly funny to watch this thread spiral. "He didn't declare his undying love to his girlfriend of a few months in front of one of his bros? He has nothing but contempt for you OP! You deserve better!" All the reasonable people have given up trying to temper OP's anxiety and now we're only a page away from someone asking if she knows whether he might have been on a killing spree when he moved to the West Coast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Geez people are being hard on this guy.

I'm 45 years old, super successful in my career, and have been very happily together with DH for 22 years. This sounds totally like something I would have said. Now. Or 22 years ago. There are a million reasons for why he deflected like this that don't mean he's not in love with OP. By the same coin toss, he may have said it because he's not in love with her.

Basically, this one interaction sheds zero light on whether he is in love with her or not.

Thank you!

The only reason why I’m leaning more towards him being in love with her is because one of his oldest friends, who presumably knows him pretty well, pointed out that he looked like he was in love. Typically friends and family can tell.

[Anonymous]

Surprised no one has asked this yet but how was he/your relationship years ago? Was he a jerk who played games? Did he seem insecure?