are 8th graders doing it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of us did circa 1970 and the parents had no clue. They were sure it wasn’t happening. I could never understand how parents could be so stupid. People’s ability to believe what they want to believe never ceases to amaze me. My concern actually runs the other way. DS is 14 and has no interest whatsoever in sex, which I find weird. I was girl crazy at his age. DS can’t understand what I ever found interesting about girls. I’ve broached the subject of whether his interests run in the other direction but no, he just isn’t interested. DW sees nothing weird about it at all. At school reunions when we see our former partners it’s always happy. VERY happy. I’ve never known anyone to regret anything. I know I’m going to get flailed for this but it’s the way it is.

Wait. You’re convinced your son isn’t having sex…the same way your parents were convinced you weren’t. 🤨 maybe your son is doing it??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The county survey has your answer, OP.

I swear, do any of you read your email from the county?? They mention this at least once every year!

https://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/data/sites/data/file...airfax%208th-12th%20report.pdf

https://www.fcps.edu/sites/default/files/media/forms/SSAW-FFX-Youth-Survey-8-10-12.pdf

+1

I believe every school has Family Life Education: https://www.fcps.edu/academics/academic-overview/family-life-education-fle

Sexual Activity

 Approximately one in six Fairfax County students (17.4%) reported having had sexual intercourse
in their lifetime, ranging from 5.0% of eighth-grade students to 33.5% of twelfth-grade students.
Male students were more likely to report having had sexual intercourse in their lifetime

5% of 8th graders sounds right to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The county survey has your answer, OP.

I swear, do any of you read your email from the county?? They mention this at least once every year!

https://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/data/sites/data/file...airfax%208th-12th%20report.pdf

https://www.fcps.edu/sites/default/files/media/forms/SSAW-FFX-Youth-Survey-8-10-12.pdf

+1

I believe every school has Family Life Education: https://www.fcps.edu/academics/academic-overview/family-life-education-fle

Sexual Activity

Yes. Those numbe

 Approximately one in six Fairfax County students (17.4%) reported having had sexual intercourse
in their lifetime, ranging from 5.0% of eighth-grade students to 33.5% of twelfth-grade students.
Male students were more likely to report having had sexual intercourse in their lifetime

Yes those numbers seem about right to me.

5% of 8th graders sounds right to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of us did circa 1970 and the parents had no clue. They were sure it wasn’t happening. I could never understand how parents could be so stupid. People’s ability to believe what they want to believe never ceases to amaze me. My concern actually runs the other way. DS is 14 and has no interest whatsoever in sex, which I find weird. I was girl crazy at his age. DS can’t understand what I ever found interesting about girls. I’ve broached the subject of whether his interests run in the other direction but no, he just isn’t interested. DW sees nothing weird about it at all. At school reunions when we see our former partners it’s always happy. VERY happy. I’ve never known anyone to regret anything. I know I’m going to get flailed for this but it’s the way it is.

Wait a second - "most" of us were not having sex in 8th grade in 1970 or 1990 or ever. A very small percentage of kids are sexually active (meaning having intercourse, not other things) at age 13/14. A higher number are by age 15/16 but still not "most".

I'm a straight woman and I was an 8th grader in 1996. I had no interest in sex or boys or anything at that age - I was studious and focused on my extracurricular activity and that was it. I never even had crushes and didn't have a "boyfriend" until I was 15 and even then we just kissed. I didn't have sex until I was in college and almost 20, but there was nothing wrong or weird about me, just like there is nothing weird about your son who just isn't interested yet. I married at 25 and have a very fulfilling adult sex life, but I'm also glad I didn't start having sex at 13 or 14, there's no way I would've been ready to handle it. Most kids aren't. I wouldn't be concerned at all about a 14yo who isn't interested in sex. He's probably more "interested" than you think, just not acting on it because developmentally he isn't ready.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The county survey has your answer, OP.

I swear, do any of you read your email from the county?? They mention this at least once every year!

https://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/data/sites/data/file...airfax%208th-12th%20report.pdf

https://www.fcps.edu/sites/default/files/media/forms/SSAW-FFX-Youth-Survey-8-10-12.pdf

+1

I believe every school has Family Life Education: https://www.fcps.edu/academics/academic-overview/family-life-education-fle

Sexual Activity

Yes. Those numbe

 Approximately one in six Fairfax County students (17.4%) reported having had sexual intercourse
in their lifetime, ranging from 5.0% of eighth-grade students to 33.5% of twelfth-grade students.
Male students were more likely to report having had sexual intercourse in their lifetime

Yes those numbers seem about right to me.

5% of 8th graders sounds right to me.

Maybe so. But I bet that figure is way low for girls experimenting with other girls.

First off, girls are shy and won’t answer truthfully.

Second, they think they are just fooling around sexually. And that’s true. It’s not like two 8th grade girls are actually having sex with each other when they explore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of us did circa 1970 and the parents had no clue. They were sure it wasn’t happening. I could never understand how parents could be so stupid. People’s ability to believe what they want to believe never ceases to amaze me. My concern actually runs the other way. DS is 14 and has no interest whatsoever in sex, which I find weird. I was girl crazy at his age. DS can’t understand what I ever found interesting about girls. I’ve broached the subject of whether his interests run in the other direction but no, he just isn’t interested. DW sees nothing weird about it at all. At school reunions when we see our former partners it’s always happy. VERY happy. I’ve never known anyone to regret anything. I know I’m going to get flailed for this but it’s the way it is.

Wait a second - "most" of us were not having sex in 8th grade in 1970 or 1990 or ever. A very small percentage of kids are sexually active (meaning having intercourse, not other things) at age 13/14. A higher number are by age 15/16 but still not "most".

I'm a straight woman and I was an 8th grader in 1996. I had no interest in sex or boys or anything at that age - I was studious and focused on my extracurricular activity and that was it. I never even had crushes and didn't have a "boyfriend" until I was 15 and even then we just kissed. I didn't have sex until I was in college and almost 20, but there was nothing wrong or weird about me, just like there is nothing weird about your son who just isn't interested yet. I married at 25 and have a very fulfilling adult sex life, but I'm also glad I didn't start having sex at 13 or 14, there's no way I would've been ready to handle it. Most kids aren't. I wouldn't be concerned at all about a 14yo who isn't interested in sex. He's probably more "interested" than you think, just not acting on it because developmentally he isn't ready.

My oldest son was girl crazy since 12 and my husband couldn't understand why he was interested in girls so young. He was the opposite.

My youngest son is just like dad, he's 14 and doesn't find girls interesting at all.

[Anonymous]

Statistics show it's less common than1994 when I was in grade 8 but it's still going to happen and the talks need to happen ASAP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The county survey has your answer, OP.

I swear, do any of you read your email from the county?? They mention this at least once every year!

https://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/data/sites/data/file...airfax%208th-12th%20report.pdf

https://www.fcps.edu/sites/default/files/media/forms/SSAW-FFX-Youth-Survey-8-10-12.pdf

Yeah I hate to tell you this but gen X definitions of virginity and what not are less and less relevant as time goes on. It's literally only based on hetero sex and pretty steeped in gender norms and patriarchal notions. 2 gay married women are certainly "having sex" and are not virgins, right? Logic follows.



+1

I believe every school has Family Life Education: https://www.fcps.edu/academics/academic-overview/family-life-education-fle

Sexual Activity

Yes. Those numbe

 Approximately one in six Fairfax County students (17.4%) reported having had sexual intercourse
in their lifetime, ranging from 5.0% of eighth-grade students to 33.5% of twelfth-grade students.
Male students were more likely to report having had sexual intercourse in their lifetime

Yes those numbers seem about right to me.

5% of 8th graders sounds right to me.

Maybe so. But I bet that figure is way low for girls experimenting with other girls.

First off, girls are shy and won’t answer truthfully.

Second, they think they are just fooling around sexually. And that’s true. It’s not like two 8th grade girls are actually having sex with each other when they explore.

[Anonymous]

But isn’t the survey anonymous?

Why would t 8th grade girls not answer truthfully if the survey is actually anonymous?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of us did circa 1970 and the parents had no clue. They were sure it wasn’t happening. I could never understand how parents could be so stupid. People’s ability to believe what they want to believe never ceases to amaze me. My concern actually runs the other way. DS is 14 and has no interest whatsoever in sex, which I find weird. I was girl crazy at his age. DS can’t understand what I ever found interesting about girls. I’ve broached the subject of whether his interests run in the other direction but no, he just isn’t interested. DW sees nothing weird about it at all. At school reunions when we see our former partners it’s always happy. VERY happy. I’ve never known anyone to regret anything. I know I’m going to get flailed for this but it’s the way it is.

Wait a second - "most" of us were not having sex in 8th grade in 1970 or 1990 or ever. A very small percentage of kids are sexually active (meaning having intercourse, not other things) at age 13/14. A higher number are by age 15/16 but still not "most".

I'm a straight woman and I was an 8th grader in 1996. I had no interest in sex or boys or anything at that age - I was studious and focused on my extracurricular activity and that was it. I never even had crushes and didn't have a "boyfriend" until I was 15 and even then we just kissed. I didn't have sex until I was in college and almost 20, but there was nothing wrong or weird about me, just like there is nothing weird about your son who just isn't interested yet. I married at 25 and have a very fulfilling adult sex life, but I'm also glad I didn't start having sex at 13 or 14, there's no way I would've been ready to handle it. Most kids aren't. I wouldn't be concerned at all about a 14yo who isn't interested in sex. He's probably more "interested" than you think, just not acting on it because developmentally he isn't ready.

When I said “us” I meant the kids in my school. Moreover, I’m sure there was much less sex in 1996 during the “free love” period circa 1970.

[Anonymous]

OOPS. I meant I’m sure that there was much less sex in 1996 THAN during the “free love” period circa 1970.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of us did circa 1970 and the parents had no clue. They were sure it wasn’t happening. I could never understand how parents could be so stupid. People’s ability to believe what they want to believe never ceases to amaze me. My concern actually runs the other way. DS is 14 and has no interest whatsoever in sex, which I find weird. I was girl crazy at his age. DS can’t understand what I ever found interesting about girls. I’ve broached the subject of whether his interests run in the other direction but no, he just isn’t interested. DW sees nothing weird about it at all. At school reunions when we see our former partners it’s always happy. VERY happy. I’ve never known anyone to regret anything. I know I’m going to get flailed for this but it’s the way it is.

Wait. You’re convinced your son isn’t having sex…the same way your parents were convinced you weren’t. 🤨 maybe your son is doing it??

You’re not getting it. The parents back circa 1970 would have been horrified had they found out about how much sex was going on. I’d be thrilled if DS would show some interest in sex. He attends an all boys school and thinks sex is disgusting. I’ve told him I find this weird in a 14 year old boy.

[Anonymous]

And he’s adamant that he’ll never have sex or go on a date. It’s easy to say “oh, he’s only 14, he’ll change. But I doubt he will. He’s got ASD and is VERY rigid. He never changes his mind about anything.

[Anonymous]

It's not just one talk, it's ongoing.

While not sex, per se, my middle school had to get rid of bathroom stall doors because too much oral sex was going on. Fun times. It was mortifying to go to the bathroom as a girl in middle school without doors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OOPS. I meant I’m sure that there was much less sex in 1996 THAN during the “free love” period circa 1970.

Also, in 1996, there was AIDS and herpes. Nothing like that circa 1970.