Did You Wish For Certain Gender With Second Child?

[Anonymous]

Yes, slightly. First child is a boy. Slightly wanted to have a girl second time to name after a very dear relative. Dh also wanted to stop at two kids so felt like it would be nice to have one of each, but there are pros and cons either way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t care. Can I ask why you prefer a boy?

OP here. We bought everything in neutral colors with the exception of clothes because we knew we wanted a second and wanted to be prepared if second baby was different gender than first baby. Not having to buy new clothes is a perk. The main driving factor for me is I already have a boy and feel like it may be easier to navigate this experience as a parent with two boys. They will close in age and I want them to be best friends or at least have similar interests which may make things easier as they get older. I was close with my sister and my brothers were close so I would like for my kids to have that same sibling bond that I feel is best same sex kids. Not saying that opposite sex siblings can’t have a close bond, but my brothers and I were never as close as I was with my sister and they were together as brothers. My husband has one brother and they are super close and I know he really wants that for our kids. I would want two girls if first child ended up being a girl. We will be just as happy if it’s a girl and ultimately just want a healthy and happy baby.

NP- look my dd wears dresses and lots of pink and unicorn stuff, but come on...will the world end if you have to dress you newborn in a pink or blue onesie when they're the "opposite" gender? My husband is a former football player, a huge pretty masculine guy and he was tickled to put our son in his older sisters pink baby clothes. This is a really dumb reason to want a certain gender.

DP. Your post is really dumb. You completely ignore most of what OP said, including her main reason for wanting another boy.

[Anonymous]

Before I had my son, I was sure I only wanted girls. After having him, I truly didn’t have a preference. I wanted the experience of having a daughter but almost equally wanted the experience of seeing my son have a brother.

In any case, no one should judge you for your feelings. Some people have a preference and others don’t and it’s totally fine either way. It doesn’t mean anything about how much you’ll love the baby. Until they’re here it’s all just fantasy and I think natural to imagine and perhaps hope about what it will be like.

[Anonymous]

OP, it's not "gender," it's "sex." The child's gender will be made known to you in the future (maybe).

[Anonymous]

With my first, I had zero preference. Had a girl

With the second, I had a very small preference for a boy only because I wanted to know what it was like to have one of each. But we found out early that it was a second girl, and I was happy. We had lots of girl clothes in the attic, so not a ton of need for new stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t care. Can I ask why you prefer a boy?

A lot of time,s women who prefer sons are the same kind of women who say it’s so much easier to be friends with men.

[Anonymous]

My first is a boy so for the second, I wanted a girl and got a girl. I have an amazing and close relationship with my own mother and just wanted that same experience.

[Anonymous]

I had a boy first and I had a slight preference for another boy just because I had a same-gender sibling and we are very close. I had a second boy. When I was pregnant with my third, I was more ambivalent but still kind of wanted another boy. I got a third boy and it is so great. However, I’m sure I would feel it was great if any or all of them were girls. We fall in love with the kids we get once they are here.

[Anonymous]

Nope. Never had a preference. Just wanted healthy kids after a late loss and then a MC. Ended up with 1 of each.

[Anonymous]

Yes absolutely! I had a preference for all three kids. Got the boy, girl for first 2 but wanted another boy and ended up with girl for #3. It wasn’t the end of the world but I definitely had preferences. I think most people do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it's not "gender," it's "sex." The child's gender will be made known to you in the future (maybe).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it's not "gender," it's "sex." The child's gender will be made known to you in the future (maybe).

First, literally who cares. Second, if we're going to be pedantic, when you look up gender in the dictionary, sex is one of the definitions and is a totally valid use of the word.

[Anonymous]

I will admit I wanted a second girl - my sister is my best friend and I had such a good childhood playing together that that was my dream for my daughter too. Of course I got a boy. He’s amazing and I’m so glad we have him. And I now realize he’s his own person and is much more than just a sibling for my older kid but that’s harder to picture before they exist, I think

[Anonymous]

I wanted boys and my first was a boy. Second is incoming and a girl. I’m sad about it. I just love little boys. I love their dinosaurs and trucks tacky yet adorable clothes and how active they are. I don’t want to style hair or deal with the emotional drama of girls. I love my mother but we don’t have the closest relationship and I think that’s part of my hesitation.

[Anonymous]

I was a special ed teacher, with a specialty in kids with severe behavior problems before I had my son. Since that population is disproportionately boy, I kinda hoped for a boy for my first since I knew about boys and figured it would be easier.

Looking back this is seriously bad logic. Parenting a NT child is so much easier than parenting a child with severe mental illness or other factors that impact behavior. I am confident i could have handled a girl, and think it's funny I was nervous about that.

But my first boy was so wonderful and sweet and easy to parent (at least compared to what I was used to) that I wanted a boy for my second to be just the same.

My second is a boy, and absolutely as wonderful as his big brother, but that and hair color are really all they have in common. My youngest is a ball of nonstop energy, so different from my oldest.

So, I got what I wanted, and am super happy with the outcome, but looking back I can see that my reasoning was ridiculous.