Did You Wish For Certain Gender With Second Child?

[Anonymous]

Did you have any hopes for a certain gender for your second child? I have one boy and I’m pregnant with my second. I told my friend that I’m hoping it’s a boy. She seemed shocked and said she never cared or wanted a certain gender. Obviously a healthy baby is priority, and I’m sure everyone will love their baby regardless of any preference, but I thought it was common to have a preference for gender.

[Anonymous]

Yes but I kept my mouth shut because many women with a boy preference are not shown the same understanding as women who hope for girls. Lots of women with boy preferences are met with rude remarks and are called misogynistic, but women who want girls are seen as wanting for have a girl because it’s keep relatable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes but I kept my mouth shut because many women with a boy preference are not shown the same understanding as women who hope for girls. Lots of women with boy preferences are met with rude remarks and are called misogynistic, but women who want girls are seen as wanting for have a girl because it’s keep relatable.

* it’s more relatable.

[Anonymous]

We already had a girl, so I (as a Dad) was hoping for a boy. Got a girl and never thought about it again after day 1, unless asked whether I had had a preference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes but I kept my mouth shut because many women with a boy preference are not shown the same understanding as women who hope for girls. Lots of women with boy preferences are met with rude remarks and are called misogynistic, but women who want girls are seen as wanting for have a girl because it’s keep relatable.

They are? God, people are awful.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t care. Can I ask why you prefer a boy?

[Anonymous]

I thought I didn't have a preference for my second, after my first was the son I really wanted. When the doctor told me it was a boy, I was overcome with joy. I guess I really did want another son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but I kept my mouth shut because many women with a boy preference are not shown the same understanding as women who hope for girls. Lots of women with boy preferences are met with rude remarks and are called misogynistic, but women who want girls are seen as wanting for have a girl because it’s keep relatable.

They are? God, people are awful.

Yes. There were some gender disappointment threads on this site hoping for boys and they were called all sorts of names and told they were against women, misogynistic, and giving into the patriarchy, but the girl threads are all filled with sympathy and how sad it will be to never experience having a daughter.

[Anonymous]

No, but that's only because I was planning to have more. DH and I both hoped we would have at least one of each gender, but otherwise didn't care. Wound up having G, G, B, B, which turned out to be a really convenient birth order, but we didn't hope for it in advance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t care. Can I ask why you prefer a boy?

OP here. We bought everything in neutral colors with the exception of clothes because we knew we wanted a second and wanted to be prepared if second baby was different gender than first baby. Not having to buy new clothes is a perk. The main driving factor for me is I already have a boy and feel like it may be easier to navigate this experience as a parent with two boys. They will close in age and I want them to be best friends or at least have similar interests which may make things easier as they get older. I was close with my sister and my brothers were close so I would like for my kids to have that same sibling bond that I feel is best same sex kids. Not saying that opposite sex siblings can’t have a close bond, but my brothers and I were never as close as I was with my sister and they were together as brothers. My husband has one brother and they are super close and I know he really wants that for our kids. I would want two girls if first child ended up being a girl. We will be just as happy if it’s a girl and ultimately just want a healthy and happy baby.

[Anonymous]

Of course it is common to have a preference. That’s why you see some people with 5 boys (or girls) who keep trying! For my first, I wanted a girl. I got a boy and was mildly disappointed. I was super crushed when my second was a boy. But I loved having them both together so much that when I got pregnant with my 3rd I didn’t care so much. I’m having a girl though and I’m super excited.

[Anonymous]

I had a slight preference for a girl with my second; my oldest is a boy. I also would have been happy to have another boy! But I ended up with boy/girl twins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t care. Can I ask why you prefer a boy?

OP here. We bought everything in neutral colors with the exception of clothes because we knew we wanted a second and wanted to be prepared if second baby was different gender than first baby. Not having to buy new clothes is a perk. The main driving factor for me is I already have a boy and feel like it may be easier to navigate this experience as a parent with two boys. They will close in age and I want them to be best friends or at least have similar interests which may make things easier as they get older. I was close with my sister and my brothers were close so I would like for my kids to have that same sibling bond that I feel is best same sex kids. Not saying that opposite sex siblings can’t have a close bond, but my brothers and I were never as close as I was with my sister and they were together as brothers. My husband has one brother and they are super close and I know he really wants that for our kids. I would want two girls if first child ended up being a girl. We will be just as happy if it’s a girl and ultimately just want a healthy and happy baby.

NP- look my dd wears dresses and lots of pink and unicorn stuff, but come on...will the world end if you have to dress you newborn in a pink or blue onesie when they're the "opposite" gender? My husband is a former football player, a huge pretty masculine guy and he was tickled to put our son in his older sisters pink baby clothes. This is a really dumb reason to want a certain gender.

[Anonymous]

No but I had an awful first trimester where I was repeatedly told I was going to have a miscarriage or that the baby had serious genetic issues.

He is now a healthy three year old.

[Anonymous]

Totally. I wanted my first to be a boy because I liked having an other brother. I got a girl. I wanted my second to be a girl because I thought girls in matching outfits were so cute. I got a boy.

I'm not ashamed of my dumb reasons. I'm a bit of a radical feminist but not everything I think has to be feminist.