If someone is really in love can they still cheat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, they can still cheat if marriage is sexless or not enough of it.

Or if there is enough of it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It was messed up. I told him not to show photos and we stopped ever talking about his family. I was not happy in my marriage and he had by all appearances perfect wife and kids and a rich family/social life. I talked to my therapist and it was a case of “I want what she has.” He never once said a bad word about her, that’s what should have tipped me off he had no plans to ever divorce. I wasted a lot of time.

It sounds like you need more therapy. Nothing in your post suggests you wouldn’t do it again if you thought the AP might actually fall in love with you. Therapy should help you realize not just why you did it but why it was wrong, so that you gave some remorse and wouldn’t do it again.

+1,000

I know some women like this. They have zero remorse because they hate their husbands and they have zero empathy. They think they are blameless in the situation. If caught, it's everyone else's fault. They never once think how what they did harmed this woman and her family, let alone their own family. It's really a form of mental illness---personality disorder. They will often blame the person they had the affair with taking zero responsibility or acknowledging their part in it.

I don't think these kind of women even go to individual therapy because they don't think they need it. They are not self-aware enough and too disordered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex-AP was very in love with his wife. I was incredibly jealous.

That is so messed up. I was in love with my AP but if I knew he was in love with his wife I would not have been attracted to him. What he did to her was awful. But I think she was in love with him too.

He was he just lied to you.

[Anonymous]

Total generalization but

Men: yes

Women: no

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex-AP was very in love with his wife. I was incredibly jealous.

That is so messed up. I was in love with my AP but if I knew he was in love with his wife I would not have been attracted to him. What he did to her was awful. But I think she was in love with him too.

It was messed up. I told him not to show photos and we stopped ever talking about his family. I was not happy in my marriage and he had by all appearances perfect wife and kids and a rich family/social life. I talked to my therapist and it was a case of “I want what she has.” He never once said a bad word about her, that’s what should have tipped me off he had no plans to ever divorce. I wasted a lot of time.

I also wanted what she had, in general, but it was more of a coincidence than the motive. I didn’t have a “slide into her life” fantasy. I wanted him. I knew that to get him, she would have to keep that life and we would have to start a new and different one. Did not care. I just wanted him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It was messed up. I told him not to show photos and we stopped ever talking about his family. I was not happy in my marriage and he had by all appearances perfect wife and kids and a rich family/social life. I talked to my therapist and it was a case of “I want what she has.” He never once said a bad word about her, that’s what should have tipped me off he had no plans to ever divorce. I wasted a lot of time.

It sounds like you need more therapy. Nothing in your post suggests you wouldn’t do it again if you thought the AP might actually fall in love with you. Therapy should help you realize not just why you did it but why it was wrong, so that you gave some remorse and wouldn’t do it again.

+1 that's the definition of looking for an exit affair.

And even then. My AP did fall in love with me and still did not leave. Loves his family more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It was messed up. I told him not to show photos and we stopped ever talking about his family. I was not happy in my marriage and he had by all appearances perfect wife and kids and a rich family/social life. I talked to my therapist and it was a case of “I want what she has.” He never once said a bad word about her, that’s what should have tipped me off he had no plans to ever divorce. I wasted a lot of time.

It sounds like you need more therapy. Nothing in your post suggests you wouldn’t do it again if you thought the AP might actually fall in love with you. Therapy should help you realize not just why you did it but why it was wrong, so that you gave some remorse and wouldn’t do it again.

+1 that's the definition of looking for an exit affair.

And even then. My AP did fall in love with me and still did not leave. Loves his family more.

Oh come on. BS. Men in affairs tell their APs this crap to keep the fish on the line.

Get yourself some individual therapy. "Loves his WIFE".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It was messed up. I told him not to show photos and we stopped ever talking about his family. I was not happy in my marriage and he had by all appearances perfect wife and kids and a rich family/social life. I talked to my therapist and it was a case of “I want what she has.” He never once said a bad word about her, that’s what should have tipped me off he had no plans to ever divorce. I wasted a lot of time.

It sounds like you need more therapy. Nothing in your post suggests you wouldn’t do it again if you thought the AP might actually fall in love with you. Therapy should help you realize not just why you did it but why it was wrong, so that you gave some remorse and wouldn’t do it again.

+1 that's the definition of looking for an exit affair.

And even then. My AP did fall in love with me and still did not leave. Loves his family more.

Oh come on. BS. Men in affairs tell their APs this crap to keep the fish on the line.

Get yourself some individual therapy. "Loves his WIFE".

Other pp left this part off and selectively quoted:

"My ex-AP was very in love with his wife. I was incredibly jealous."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex-AP was very in love with his wife. I was incredibly jealous.

That is so messed up. I was in love with my AP but if I knew he was in love with his wife I would not have been attracted to him. What he did to her was awful. But I think she was in love with him too.

It was messed up. I told him not to show photos and we stopped ever talking about his family. I was not happy in my marriage and he had by all appearances perfect wife and kids and a rich family/social life. I talked to my therapist and it was a case of “I want what she has.” He never once said a bad word about her, that’s what should have tipped me off he had no plans to ever divorce. I wasted a lot of time.

NP I am in this exact same situation. But I don't necessarily want what she has because, well, she has a husband that's cheating on her. I don't even know if I would want to be with him if he weren't married - too many issues, depressive, etc. But I have issues too. SO its like we've found comfort or companionship in each other but I'm not naive about what the reality of our situation is or have any delusions that this story is going to have some happily ever after ending. I am 100% going to divorce as soon as I can but I know he never will and I don't expect him to. Why, so he can be cheating on me too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex-AP was very in love with his wife. I was incredibly jealous.

That is so messed up. I was in love with my AP but if I knew he was in love with his wife I would not have been attracted to him. What he did to her was awful. But I think she was in love with him too.

It was messed up. I told him not to show photos and we stopped ever talking about his family. I was not happy in my marriage and he had by all appearances perfect wife and kids and a rich family/social life. I talked to my therapist and it was a case of “I want what she has.” He never once said a bad word about her, that’s what should have tipped me off he had no plans to ever divorce. I wasted a lot of time.

I also wanted what she had, in general, but it was more of a coincidence than the motive. I didn’t have a “slide into her life” fantasy. I wanted him. I knew that to get him, she would have to keep that life and we would have to start a new and different one. Did not care. I just wanted him.

You are an ass. You see nobody would be 'keeping that life' in that situation don't you. But--'him' is all the trappings. And a lot of those trappings are there due to JOINT effort on the part of both spouses. We certainly wouldn't be loaded right now if we both didn't work and I found the investment properties and encouraged him to buy them against his will that are now worth millions. The kids that are 'perfect' are due to the way the mother and father raised them. You see how you coming in is a fantasy and you do actually think it would all be fun and joy for you and not a big cluster f*ck that blows up an entire family, right? I'm guessing he fed you the line that 'it's just too complicated with kids and all'....oh we would only be together if not for the kids...now bend over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex-AP was very in love with his wife. I was incredibly jealous.

That is so messed up. I was in love with my AP but if I knew he was in love with his wife I would not have been attracted to him. What he did to her was awful. But I think she was in love with him too.

It was messed up. I told him not to show photos and we stopped ever talking about his family. I was not happy in my marriage and he had by all appearances perfect wife and kids and a rich family/social life. I talked to my therapist and it was a case of “I want what she has.” He never once said a bad word about her, that’s what should have tipped me off he had no plans to ever divorce. I wasted a lot of time.

NP I am in this exact same situation. But I don't necessarily want what she has because, well, she has a husband that's cheating on her. I don't even know if I would want to be with him if he weren't married - too many issues, depressive, etc. But I have issues too. SO its like we've found comfort or companionship in each other but I'm not naive about what the reality of our situation is or have any delusions that this story is going to have some happily ever after ending. I am 100% going to divorce as soon as I can but I know he never will and I don't expect him to. Why, so he can be cheating on me too?

OMG. You are that woman. He is a cheater, but you are not EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE FRICKIN' MARRIED TOO. HA.

Another exhibit of: women want exit affairs and men just want free sex on the side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex-AP was very in love with his wife. I was incredibly jealous.

That is so messed up. I was in love with my AP but if I knew he was in love with his wife I would not have been attracted to him. What he did to her was awful. But I think she was in love with him too.

It was messed up. I told him not to show photos and we stopped ever talking about his family. I was not happy in my marriage and he had by all appearances perfect wife and kids and a rich family/social life. I talked to my therapist and it was a case of “I want what she has.” He never once said a bad word about her, that’s what should have tipped me off he had no plans to ever divorce. I wasted a lot of time.

NP I am in this exact same situation. But I don't necessarily want what she has because, well, she has a husband that's cheating on her. I don't even know if I would want to be with him if he weren't married - too many issues, depressive, etc. But I have issues too. SO its like we've found comfort or companionship in each other but I'm not naive about what the reality of our situation is or have any delusions that this story is going to have some happily ever after ending. I am 100% going to divorce as soon as I can but I know he never will and I don't expect him to. Why, so he can be cheating on me too?

OMG. You are that woman. He is a cheater, but you are not EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE FRICKIN' MARRIED TOO. HA.

Another exhibit of: women want exit affairs and men just want free sex on the side.

These losers would jump on these men in a heartbeat if they ever could get them to leave their wives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex-AP was very in love with his wife. I was incredibly jealous.

That is so messed up. I was in love with my AP but if I knew he was in love with his wife I would not have been attracted to him. What he did to her was awful. But I think she was in love with him too.

It was messed up. I told him not to show photos and we stopped ever talking about his family. I was not happy in my marriage and he had by all appearances perfect wife and kids and a rich family/social life. I talked to my therapist and it was a case of “I want what she has.” He never once said a bad word about her, that’s what should have tipped me off he had no plans to ever divorce. I wasted a lot of time.

NP I am in this exact same situation. But I don't necessarily want what she has because, well, she has a husband that's cheating on her. I don't even know if I would want to be with him if he weren't married - too many issues, depressive, etc. But I have issues too. SO its like we've found comfort or companionship in each other but I'm not naive about what the reality of our situation is or have any delusions that this story is going to have some happily ever after ending. I am 100% going to divorce as soon as I can but I know he never will and I don't expect him to. Why, so he can be cheating on me too?

Seems more like co-dependency?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex-AP was very in love with his wife. I was incredibly jealous.

That is so messed up. I was in love with my AP but if I knew he was in love with his wife I would not have been attracted to him. What he did to her was awful. But I think she was in love with him too.

It was messed up. I told him not to show photos and we stopped ever talking about his family. I was not happy in my marriage and he had by all appearances perfect wife and kids and a rich family/social life. I talked to my therapist and it was a case of “I want what she has.” He never once said a bad word about her, that’s what should have tipped me off he had no plans to ever divorce. I wasted a lot of time.

NP I am in this exact same situation. But I don't necessarily want what she has because, well, she has a husband that's cheating on her. I don't even know if I would want to be with him if he weren't married - too many issues, depressive, etc. But I have issues too. SO its like we've found comfort or companionship in each other but I'm not naive about what the reality of our situation is or have any delusions that this story is going to have some happily ever after ending. I am 100% going to divorce as soon as I can but I know he never will and I don't expect him to. Why, so he can be cheating on me too?

OMG. You are that woman. He is a cheater, but you are not EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE FRICKIN' MARRIED TOO. HA.

Another exhibit of: women want exit affairs and men just want free sex on the side.

They are in a battle with a woman who doesn't even know she is in one and they still can't win. They only bring 'their best' and try all their charms and flattery while the wife is just out there living. Men affair down for sex is real.

These losers would jump on these men in a heartbeat if they ever could get them to leave their wives.

[Anonymous]

Most men can separate love and sex where it seems most women see it as one in the same. Can’t have sex without some emotional bond. That certainly isn’t license to go cheat on your wife, but men do process love and sex differently.