Nephew with celiac - what is fair/appropriate when visiting grandma?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:GF mom.

Pasta - try Barilla, that's our favorite and I think the most like regular pasta. Just remember the gentle boil and stir. Spaghetti is the hardest because it tends to clump - if We're making that I actually break it in half and stir with tongs to pull it apart.

Bread - this is probably one of the hardest ones, and most mass produced aren't great. We actually got a bread maker to make our own. The really good GF breads tend to be from smaller, GF bakeries. Can you live without bread for the week?

Nuggets - I think we've done apple gate and they were OK, but honestly I generally make my own, though that's more for my non-GF kid anyway.

What other foods do your kids eat? I've found that focusing on naturally GF foods can really be easier. Do they eat rice or potatoes? What about corn tortillas?

Thanks PP. I'll try Barilla. What coating do you use for your own nuggets? I can try that at home first. Do you have a soy sauce you like?

The older one is more adventurous and will probably be OK - hot dog, hamburger, nachos, French fries... The 4YO eats almost nothing I can think of that doesn't have some gluten. Meal staples are grilled cheese, turkey sandwiches, pb& j, nuggets, variants of pizza, grilled chicken with a specific marinade (this is a possibility for replacement)... Plain white rice, I guess. No tortillas, no potatoes other than fried. Eggs rarely and only if made just so. [and before I get more grief about their diets, they eat plenty of fruit, cheese, yogurt, etc. we just need dinner!]

Your kids are way too picky. You've let this go on way too long. Our pediatrician warns that, for picky eaters, "Fix it by 5 or it won't change."

Actually my ped said the opposite. When I ask her about my picky eaters she brushes it off and says I shouldn't stress or worry about it. My 5 yo eats similar to OP's. My 8 yo started branching out a lot starting a it age 7.

And frankly, I wouldn't go GF for a week, so I wouldn't ask my kids to. We'd be skipping this vacation with DH's full support. And he'd have some words for his mother too.

Some words about how she was protecting her 2yo grandson? What a peach! Don't go, fine; politely decline. But take your "words" and keep them to yourself.

Not a chance. My MIL would be told exactly why we wouldn't be coming. No sugar coating. But she'd never be so unreasonable in the first place. She'd give the Celiac family the cabin and be done with it. She wouldn't alter her 50 year old delicious recipes or GF her kitchen.

Troll.

This is a toddler's medical condition, not some insufferable cousin who's imposing their dietary habits on the rest of the family.

Not a troll! I wouldn't take the trip and I wouldn't lie about the "flu." It's not a reasonable thing to ask of others for a week. And a lot of people on this thread agree.

So decline POLITELY, and move on with your like. No need to try to control their decisions and the way the want the vacation to go. If it's not for you, just peace out.

I would. I would POLITELY state the real reason we would not be going on this "vacation." If not wanting to eat like a prison inmate on my "vacation" makes me a jerk, I can live with that.

Good luck OP! You are being more than understanding - they are being unreasonable.

I'm pretty sure they serve gluten in prison.

Probably so! Because not doing so would be considered cruel and unusual!

Nah because cheap processed food is the norm in prison. I always imagined that prison food would resemble DCPS school lunch -- corn dogs, pancakes and sausage, nachos with orange cheese.

I'll take a steak and a baked potato, or stir fry over rice, thank you very much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why the GF family just doesn't take the cabin and handle their food there? Why make 2 places subject to strict rules when than inconveniences more people than necessary? That is strange and very selfish.

And I will say that if there wasn't a cabin, I think OP should absolutely go GF to protect the kid. But there is an easy solution to this and the other family is being a jerk if they don't offer that up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:GF mom.

Pasta - try Barilla, that's our favorite and I think the most like regular pasta. Just remember the gentle boil and stir. Spaghetti is the hardest because it tends to clump - if We're making that I actually break it in half and stir with tongs to pull it apart.

Bread - this is probably one of the hardest ones, and most mass produced aren't great. We actually got a bread maker to make our own. The really good GF breads tend to be from smaller, GF bakeries. Can you live without bread for the week?

Nuggets - I think we've done apple gate and they were OK, but honestly I generally make my own, though that's more for my non-GF kid anyway.

What other foods do your kids eat? I've found that focusing on naturally GF foods can really be easier. Do they eat rice or potatoes? What about corn tortillas?

Thanks PP. I'll try Barilla. What coating do you use for your own nuggets? I can try that at home first. Do you have a soy sauce you like?

The older one is more adventurous and will probably be OK - hot dog, hamburger, nachos, French fries... The 4YO eats almost nothing I can think of that doesn't have some gluten. Meal staples are grilled cheese, turkey sandwiches, pb& j, nuggets, variants of pizza, grilled chicken with a specific marinade (this is a possibility for replacement)... Plain white rice, I guess. No tortillas, no potatoes other than fried. Eggs rarely and only if made just so. [and before I get more grief about their diets, they eat plenty of fruit, cheese, yogurt, etc. we just need dinner!]

Your kids are way too picky. You've let this go on way too long. Our pediatrician warns that, for picky eaters, "Fix it by 5 or it won't change."

Actually my ped said the opposite. When I ask her about my picky eaters she brushes it off and says I shouldn't stress or worry about it. My 5 yo eats similar to OP's. My 8 yo started branching out a lot starting a it age 7.

And frankly, I wouldn't go GF for a week, so I wouldn't ask my kids to. We'd be skipping this vacation with DH's full support. And he'd have some words for his mother too.

Some words about how she was protecting her 2yo grandson? What a peach! Don't go, fine; politely decline. But take your "words" and keep them to yourself.

Not a chance. My MIL would be told exactly why we wouldn't be coming. No sugar coating. But she'd never be so unreasonable in the first place. She'd give the Celiac family the cabin and be done with it. She wouldn't alter her 50 year old delicious recipes or GF her kitchen.

Troll.

This is a toddler's medical condition, not some insufferable cousin who's imposing their dietary habits on the rest of the family.

Not a troll! I wouldn't take the trip and I wouldn't lie about the "flu." It's not a reasonable thing to ask of others for a week. And a lot of people on this thread agree.

So decline POLITELY, and move on with your like. No need to try to control their decisions and the way the want the vacation to go. If it's not for you, just peace out.

I would. I would POLITELY state the real reason we would not be going on this "vacation." If not wanting to eat like a prison inmate on my "vacation" makes me a jerk, I can live with that.

Good luck OP! You are being more than understanding - they are being unreasonable.

I'm pretty sure they serve gluten in prison.

Probably so! Because not doing so would be considered cruel and unusual!

How sad that carb-y, processed foods have you so addicted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:GF mom.

Pasta - try Barilla, that's our favorite and I think the most like regular pasta. Just remember the gentle boil and stir. Spaghetti is the hardest because it tends to clump - if We're making that I actually break it in half and stir with tongs to pull it apart.

Bread - this is probably one of the hardest ones, and most mass produced aren't great. We actually got a bread maker to make our own. The really good GF breads tend to be from smaller, GF bakeries. Can you live without bread for the week?

Nuggets - I think we've done apple gate and they were OK, but honestly I generally make my own, though that's more for my non-GF kid anyway.

What other foods do your kids eat? I've found that focusing on naturally GF foods can really be easier. Do they eat rice or potatoes? What about corn tortillas?

Thanks PP. I'll try Barilla. What coating do you use for your own nuggets? I can try that at home first. Do you have a soy sauce you like?

The older one is more adventurous and will probably be OK - hot dog, hamburger, nachos, French fries... The 4YO eats almost nothing I can think of that doesn't have some gluten. Meal staples are grilled cheese, turkey sandwiches, pb& j, nuggets, variants of pizza, grilled chicken with a specific marinade (this is a possibility for replacement)... Plain white rice, I guess. No tortillas, no potatoes other than fried. Eggs rarely and only if made just so. [and before I get more grief about their diets, they eat plenty of fruit, cheese, yogurt, etc. we just need dinner!]

Your kids are way too picky. You've let this go on way too long. Our pediatrician warns that, for picky eaters, "Fix it by 5 or it won't change."

Actually my ped said the opposite. When I ask her about my picky eaters she brushes it off and says I shouldn't stress or worry about it. My 5 yo eats similar to OP's. My 8 yo started branching out a lot starting a it age 7.

And frankly, I wouldn't go GF for a week, so I wouldn't ask my kids to. We'd be skipping this vacation with DH's full support. And he'd have some words for his mother too.

Some words about how she was protecting her 2yo grandson? What a peach! Don't go, fine; politely decline. But take your "words" and keep them to yourself.

Not a chance. My MIL would be told exactly why we wouldn't be coming. No sugar coating. But she'd never be so unreasonable in the first place. She'd give the Celiac family the cabin and be done with it. She wouldn't alter her 50 year old delicious recipes or GF her kitchen.

Troll.

This is a toddler's medical condition, not some insufferable cousin who's imposing their dietary habits on the rest of the family.

Not a troll! I wouldn't take the trip and I wouldn't lie about the "flu." It's not a reasonable thing to ask of others for a week. And a lot of people on this thread agree.

So decline POLITELY, and move on with your like. No need to try to control their decisions and the way the want the vacation to go. If it's not for you, just peace out.

I would. I would POLITELY state the real reason we would not be going on this "vacation." If not wanting to eat like a prison inmate on my "vacation" makes me a jerk, I can live with that.

Good luck OP! You are being more than understanding - they are being unreasonable.

I'm pretty sure they serve gluten in prison.

Probably so! Because not doing so would be considered cruel and unusual!

How sad that carb-y, processed foods have you so addicted.

Yes tragic that I like to eat sandwiches on actual real bread.

[Anonymous]

So I haven't read all the responses and I'm not very aware of how big a problem cross contamination would or wouldn't be, but could you get a bread box for your room / some other space to keep bread in and then make all sandwiches on paper plates outside? Similarly, if there's a cookout could you bring regular buns and just keep them in the car or something? There can't be one pot and one strainer that regular pasta can go in? Again, I don't know how sick he'd be if he accidentally ate a crumb, so get it if this isn't worth it.

[Anonymous]

Hoping for an update from OP when this trip takes place!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hoping for an update from OP when this trip takes place!

OP here. The trip is next week. current status: after DC spit out the chicken nuggets, the next night we tried grilled cheese on gluten free bread which was a battle royale. As predicted, DH resisted owning up to this situation (his family dynamic is mom slips crazy stuff by people and no one makes waves) and instead yelled at the 4 year old for not eating it. He was really miffed at me for pushing him on this (again, he didn't want to make waves and I forced the issue), but he finally conceded that 5 days of DC not eating much would not go well, and he called his mom. I still do not know what the rules of the road are, but she called me to ask what brand of bread they like, so at a minimum we have pb&j as a backup, which is enough to get us through it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hoping for an update from OP when this trip takes place!

OP here. The trip is next week. current status: after DC spit out the chicken nuggets, the next night we tried grilled cheese on gluten free bread which was a battle royale. As predicted, DH resisted owning up to this situation (his family dynamic is mom slips crazy stuff by people and no one makes waves) and instead yelled at the 4 year old for not eating it. He was really miffed at me for pushing him on this (again, he didn't want to make waves and I forced the issue), but he finally conceded that 5 days of DC not eating much would not go well, and he called his mom. I still do not know what the rules of the road are, but she called me to ask what brand of bread they like, so at a minimum we have pb&j as a backup, which is enough to get us through it.

Thanks for the update OP! I think you're handling it really well. I think there is a line between acommendations for them, but your family also being comfortable. You've gone above and beyond in terms of trying lots of foods that they would like. There has to be some give-and-take, while still keeping your nephew safe. Best of luck for the trip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hoping for an update from OP when this trip takes place!

OP here. The trip is next week. current status: after DC spit out the chicken nuggets, the next night we tried grilled cheese on gluten free bread which was a battle royale. As predicted, DH resisted owning up to this situation (his family dynamic is mom slips crazy stuff by people and no one makes waves) and instead yelled at the 4 year old for not eating it. He was really miffed at me for pushing him on this (again, he didn't want to make waves and I forced the issue), but he finally conceded that 5 days of DC not eating much would not go well, and he called his mom. I still do not know what the rules of the road are, but she called me to ask what brand of bread they like, so at a minimum we have pb&j as a backup, which is enough to get us through it.

I like you, Op.
You were proactive.
You made the attempt in good faith.
You did it in front of DH thereby making him aware and now part of the problem and solution
DH had to man up and deal, most likely knowing you weren't going to do it for him
And your MIL called YOU and waved the white flag

Well done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hoping for an update from OP when this trip takes place!

OP here. The trip is next week. current status: after DC spit out the chicken nuggets, the next night we tried grilled cheese on gluten free bread which was a battle royale. As predicted, DH resisted owning up to this situation (his family dynamic is mom slips crazy stuff by people and no one makes waves) and instead yelled at the 4 year old for not eating it. He was really miffed at me for pushing him on this (again, he didn't want to make waves and I forced the issue), but he finally conceded that 5 days of DC not eating much would not go well, and he called his mom. I still do not know what the rules of the road are, but she called me to ask what brand of bread they like, so at a minimum we have pb&j as a backup, which is enough to get us through it.

I like you, Op.
You were proactive.
You made the attempt in good faith.
You did it in front of DH thereby making him aware and now part of the problem and solution
DH had to man up and deal, most likely knowing you weren't going to do it for him
And your MIL called YOU and waved the white flag

Well done.

I agree. This is DCUM, so someone will find some fault in how OP handled it...but I think she handled it perfectly for the exact reasons listed above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hoping for an update from OP when this trip takes place!

OP here. The trip is next week. current status: after DC spit out the chicken nuggets, the next night we tried grilled cheese on gluten free bread which was a battle royale. As predicted, DH resisted owning up to this situation (his family dynamic is mom slips crazy stuff by people and no one makes waves) and instead yelled at the 4 year old for not eating it. He was really miffed at me for pushing him on this (again, he didn't want to make waves and I forced the issue), but he finally conceded that 5 days of DC not eating much would not go well, and he called his mom. I still do not know what the rules of the road are, but she called me to ask what brand of bread they like, so at a minimum we have pb&j as a backup, which is enough to get us through it.

I like you, Op.
You were proactive.
You made the attempt in good faith.
You did it in front of DH thereby making him aware and now part of the problem and solution
DH had to man up and deal, most likely knowing you weren't going to do it for him
And your MIL called YOU and waved the white flag

Well done.

Thank you for this, truly. I really agonized over this (and so did the DCUM community judging from the 20 page thread ) and wanted to do as best I could by everyone, so I really appreciate the kind words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hoping for an update from OP when this trip takes place!

OP here. The trip is next week. current status: after DC spit out the chicken nuggets, the next night we tried grilled cheese on gluten free bread which was a battle royale. As predicted, DH resisted owning up to this situation (his family dynamic is mom slips crazy stuff by people and no one makes waves) and instead yelled at the 4 year old for not eating it. He was really miffed at me for pushing him on this (again, he didn't want to make waves and I forced the issue), but he finally conceded that 5 days of DC not eating much would not go well, and he called his mom. I still do not know what the rules of the road are, but she called me to ask what brand of bread they like, so at a minimum we have pb&j as a backup, which is enough to get us through it.

I like you, Op.
You were proactive.
You made the attempt in good faith.
You did it in front of DH thereby making him aware and now part of the problem and solution
DH had to man up and deal, most likely knowing you weren't going to do it for him
And your MIL called YOU and waved the white flag

Well done.

Thank you for this, truly. I really agonized over this (and so did the DCUM community judging from the 20 page thread ) and wanted to do as best I could by everyone, so I really appreciate the kind words.

Celiac mom here. Think you did great. Hope it turns out to be a fun trip for everyone.

[Anonymous]

I think you did a great job with this tricky situation too. You were considerate about your nephew's health and the fact that they'll have a newborn, and tried for other solutions, then got your DH involved to get his mother involved in a solution that will work.

Just stay proactive when you're there by making sure your 4-year-old has his PB&Js somewhere that won't end up in crumbs where the toddler will find them (outside, or in your room and then clean it up, or whatever agreement you come to with the toddler's parents).
Then have a good week!

[Anonymous]

Good luck. My DD is gluten free due to IgE allergy (not Celiac). I think your approach was perfectly executed. Nice job.

[Anonymous]

I have celiac. A common mistake is to try to mimic processed food instead of just simply eating without gluten. GF chicken nuggets are awful, instead just season and grill chicken breast strips. Homemade French fries are delicious (I use an air fryer). Meats can all be preparef GF, same with veggies, fruit and rice. Udi's pizza shells are good and most kids would like to make their own pizza. Franz is a good brand of bread, udi's rolls, buns and muffins are good. There's a ton of GF options.