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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Boyfriend told me to “shut the F up”
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Anonymous
So who has more value, op or her bf? I submit that bf cursing at op devalues not only her, but him. He is an adult who is not conducting himself as such. Cussing is abusive language. He crossed a line. He has some maturing to do. Op has healing to do from her past, which involved abuse. She is in a relationship with someone who used abusive language while drunk! when he could've politely told her to stand down or whatever he was trying to convey. Presumeably the last person who abused op didn't start out full bore abusive. Likely it started with little things such as dismissing her perspectives and name calling her. Both op and bf have values as human beings...bf devalued both of them. |
Anonymous
Oh, wow! |
Anonymous
OP devalued her boyfriend when she got up on her condescension stage and started telling him whats what about his own life/dog/choices. OP, as an adult, had no business telling another adult to do with his dog. Nobody asked. Nobody needed or wanted her ignorant take. OP needs to get a better sense of boundaries and learn how and when to have conversations about things that aren't her business. She came in hot telling someone else what to do with their life, and got clapped back for it. Could he have been more polite? Yes. Could she have been more mature and respectful about knowing her place and choosing a more appropriate time for her rant? absolutely. No victims here, just bad choices all around. But because he said a no-no word, he's the perp? Y'all are a mess. |
Anonymous
The defense attorney for the indefensible is in the house. They will turn the plaintiff's case around and paint the defendant as the victim. If they can't win by convincing the jury, they will draw the case out. They will not relent until the jury, cunfused and exhausted from days of doubling down, justifying, and victim blaming, relents and does not convict. This is dcum, ma'am, and those of us (there are several) who know he's guilty will not relent, either. Jeffwill lock this thread before we allow you to win your case, which is based on speculation and whackadoodle fockery. |
Anonymous
Right, so she deserved it? What else do you think she deserved? What if she was even more annoying than she had been? At what point does he get to hit her? I mean, she'd deserve it, right? |
Anonymous
That's fine, you set your bar wherever you like. The majority of us, most of whom have posted that we're in long-term, happy marriages, will set the bar high and won't talk to our spouses like that. |
Anonymous
I think telling someone to shut up is rude. He could certainly have told her he didn't want to discuss the topic anymore. He's entitled to be upset at her opinion that she knows more about his dog than she does. He is not entitled to speak to her rudely. I know, I know, you're going to say that she was speaking to him rudely by interrupting his drinking to tell him she's smarter than he is, but that's where you don't get it. So honestly, keep on treating people badly because there's no point in having a conversation with you. The rest of us, and there are many, I am only one of many posters who disagree with you, will go about our happy lives. |
Anonymous
If you knew anything about abusers, you would know that this is their party line. Some people are smart enough to realize that. |
Anonymous
What if he had cheated on her? If it was only once, she should forgive him because he apologized? |
Anonymous
This is what you're failing to understand - there are differences of opinion, and then there are standards of decent behavior. You want to live in a big city because you like urban life? That's fine, others prefer rural areas with lots of space. Neither of you is right. Those are called preferences. There are no laws about whether you have to like the city or the country. There are, however, laws regarding how you talk to people, including cursing at them. Those are preferences, those are actual rules for human behavior. So the fact that you keep trying to insist that those who say cursing at people isn't okay are merely expressing their opinion, and you're entitled to your opinion, which is that it is totally fine to curse at people, shows how ridiculous you are. Oh no, there I go, calling you name! How dare I! |
Anonymous
It is so sad that you were raised to think that these "standards" are being made up by a group of people clutching their pearls. It speaks so much to how you were raised and how you treat the people around you. I truly hope you listen to someone at some point who says it isn't ok to talk to people like this and you understand that you deserve to be treated better. Someone did you a huge disservice in the way they raised you and it's heartbreaking to hear about. |
Anonymous
Please, please seek therapy. I'm sorry you got yelled at or hit as a child and it made you think that it was because you had said or done the "wrong" thing and you deserved it. |
Anonymous
Yes actually. You’ve probably encouraged men to dump women for far less serious transgressions, but it’s clear you just hate women and want to see them kept with a boot on their neck. |
Anonymous
No wonder you think this behavior is fine, you seem to commonly call women derogatory names, so this is probably old news to you. Well time to wake up. Not all women will allow you to treat them like trash and get away with it. I hope your next gf (I mean if there was even a first) steps away the second you start mistreating her. It won’t be very long into the relationship clearly. |
Anonymous
This is confusing to me. So you expect perfection and anything short of perfection is abuse? Where are you going with this? |