How many men would stay w/o sex

[Anonymous]

As they say, a healthy man wants a thousand things. An ill man wants one.

Nope, never heard anyone say that.

Well, now you have heard someone say it.

The question becomes: do you understand it? Unless you die suddenly of an accident, you will get the chance.

As someone who has been diagnosed with cancer, many things I thought were important were forgotten the moment I heard. Do you think your life would be hard if you did not have sex? Wait until chemo makes you so sick that pray for your life to end. Or when all you want is to live long enough to meet your first grandchild.

Try, for just this moment, to be thankful for what you have and to have some empathy for those (and those they care about) who are so sick they only want one more pain-free day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why you have hands. Use them and STFU.

Please never get married.

"Please never get married unless you're planning on leaving your sick spouse to get your D wet"

That's what youre saying. It's gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a core group of men and women on this forum whose entire existence is around sex. I really hate then. Everything about them is sex sex sex. I don't know if they are this way because they are in a sexless marriage, or they are sex addict, or just mentally ill. Sex isn't everything in a relationship.

Nobody on here ever claimed or believe their entire existence is around sex. You are the one claiming that.

They do act like it is though and you know it. Are you triggered?

No we don’t act like sex is the only thing that matters to us. What we claim is sex is a very important part of a marriage along with many other things.

PP literally said it's the most important part of marriage. You know you can just read the thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a core group of men and women on this forum whose entire existence is around sex. I really hate then. Everything about them is sex sex sex. I don't know if they are this way because they are in a sexless marriage, or they are sex addict, or just mentally ill. Sex isn't everything in a relationship.

Sex is absolutely the most important part of a marriage. It is the core part of the human experience. I'm sorry that you don't feel that way.

Some of us think love is the core part of the human experience.

And some of us haven’t completely separated the two of our heads. If you read Helen Fischer’s work, you will find that LOVE hormones get released during sex as well as hugging, breastfeeding etc. I happen to express love through physical contact and I feel loved when DH have sex regularly. Of course if he simply couldn’t do it for some reason, I wouldn’t leave but if he WOULDN’T, I’d feel very lonely and unloved and I’d probably consider whether our love was as solid as I’d thought.

Shaming people because they find sex to be a core way people who love each other communicate is not the flex you think it is.

Yes, I feel this way too. Also I agree with the poster who says that sex is the most important part of marriage. Everything else I can get outside of the marriage… Emotional support, companionship, friendship,… even massages just to feel touch. Anything I need except for sex.

Although yes, I won’t technically die without sex, not having it, especially when I’m spending so much time with someone who is supposed to love me, has an effect on my emotions, mood, self-esteem, everything. For them to turn around and say, just because I’m not that interested, you should suffer, does not feel like love. The only things that put a dent in this feeling have been being in the pill (ironically) and actually being pregnant or breast-feeding. During my pregnant and breast-feeding years… when DH was still higher drive, I put out a lot more than I really had desire to. I took one for the team many nights, so to speak. Because I understood how important it was. It’s hurtful that the favor is not being returned.

And if you were not able to have sex during that period? At all? Would you expect him to stand by you or would you be ok with him cheating and/or leaving?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a core group of men and women on this forum whose entire existence is around sex. I really hate then. Everything about them is sex sex sex. I don't know if they are this way because they are in a sexless marriage, or they are sex addict, or just mentally ill. Sex isn't everything in a relationship.

Sex is absolutely the most important part of a marriage. It is the core part of the human experience. I'm sorry that you don't feel that way.

Some of us think love is the core part of the human experience.

And some of us haven’t completely separated the two of our heads. If you read Helen Fischer’s work, you will find that LOVE hormones get released during sex as well as hugging, breastfeeding etc. I happen to express love through physical contact and I feel loved when DH have sex regularly. Of course if he simply couldn’t do it for some reason, I wouldn’t leave but if he WOULDN’T, I’d feel very lonely and unloved and I’d probably consider whether our love was as solid as I’d thought.

Shaming people because they find sex to be a core way people who love each other communicate is not the flex you think it is.

Nobody is shaming you but it’s not the core way you feel love. It’s one way and it’s a way you put too much emphasis on probably due to some lacking in intimacy in childhood or friendships. But if sex is your core way to get live it’s not normal

This is just not true. It is for some people. Read Gottman’s love languages.

To the contrary, playing down the need for sex and sexuality is what leads to problems. Not accepting individual differences. So to reiterate, get off your high horse and stop shaming people for whom sex is really important.

So you don't love your children, parents or friends? Or do you have sex with all of them too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are lots of men who stay with their wives and care for them when they get a chronic illness. Many of them have to give up sex with their wives as a result of the illness, not because the wife doesn't want to have sex. Obviously she is also giving up sex, probably for the rest of her life in many cases. Many men in this situation rightly prioritize themselves and their wants and desires and even needs below those of the chronically ill wife. It's also true that the majority of such men have little to no help at all in caring for their wives. Some men resist accepting help and others don't have anyone to help them. They are accepting a heavy responsibility and burden.

If you are in this situation, whether you are a man or a woman, there is a great podcast designed to help and support you, it's called In Sickness and is available on most podcast platforms. It's two people who are in this situation, are in their 40s, and who want to help others. It's not uncommon for this to happen to older people but for it to happen to younger couples is quite the unexpected tragedy.

As far as sex goes, it's clearly a tough decision to stay out of love and commitment and care for a chronically ill spouse and accept that your own sexual desires will likely not be satisfied. Different people handle that situation differently depending on their morals and beliefs and probably how much they love the ill person. Some may step out of the marriage, some others resolve to satisfy themselves. Whether you think stepping out is cheating can be a debatable topic when the lack of sex has nothing to do with whether either partner wants it or not. It's very much and individual dilemma and decision. It's tough on both partners and often mental and emotional health take a big hit in the process.

Nope. Haven't had sex in 2 years. My DW can't due to health issues. Its not the end of the world. I have no desire to look for it elsewhere. Some of you on this forum are so selfish it's insane. Sex is not everything in a relationship for God sake.

If you read again you'll see that I said they prioritize their own wants and needs BELOW that of the chronically ill wife which is exactly what you are also saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a core group of men and women on this forum whose entire existence is around sex. I really hate then. Everything about them is sex sex sex. I don't know if they are this way because they are in a sexless marriage, or they are sex addict, or just mentally ill. Sex isn't everything in a relationship.

Sex is absolutely the most important part of a marriage. It is the core part of the human experience. I'm sorry that you don't feel that way.

Some of us think love is the core part of the human experience.

And some of us haven’t completely separated the two of our heads. If you read Helen Fischer’s work, you will find that LOVE hormones get released during sex as well as hugging, breastfeeding etc. I happen to express love through physical contact and I feel loved when DH have sex regularly. Of course if he simply couldn’t do it for some reason, I wouldn’t leave but if he WOULDN’T, I’d feel very lonely and unloved and I’d probably consider whether our love was as solid as I’d thought.

Shaming people because they find sex to be a core way people who love each other communicate is not the flex you think it is.

Nobody is shaming you but it’s not the core way you feel love. It’s one way and it’s a way you put too much emphasis on probably due to some lacking in intimacy in childhood or friendships. But if sex is your core way to get live it’s not normal

This is just not true. It is for some people. Read Gottman’s love languages.

To the contrary, playing down the need for sex and sexuality is what leads to problems. Not accepting individual differences. So to reiterate, get off your high horse and stop shaming people for whom sex is really important.

Gottman specifically says sex is not included or necessary under physical touch,

To emphasize sex so much points to a maladaptive ability to get and show love and affection without sex.

It’s not a high horse it’s just a fact.

You should really look into why you can’t give or receive love and affection without sex.

[Anonymous]

I have been on this forum for years and not much has changed as far as the folks who put sex above everything else.

I am 70 and I am sure there are other 70 years old who have the libido of 20 years and good for them
For some us we can go on months without the need sex and we are still in loving relationship. Perhaps that's a hard thing to understand for some of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been on this forum for years and not much has changed as far as the folks who put sex above everything else.

I am 70 and I am sure there are other 70 years old who have the libido of 20 years and good for them
For some us we can go on months without the need sex and we are still in loving relationship. Perhaps that's a hard thing to understand for some of you.

I am also 70 and a woman. When I am not in a relationship I can go long periods of time without sex with another person with no stress about it. But when I am in a relationship with someone I love and desire I want it all the time, like everyday. No post menopausal dryness going on here either! We're all different at all ages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been on this forum for years and not much has changed as far as the folks who put sex above everything else.

I am 70 and I am sure there are other 70 years old who have the libido of 20 years and good for them
For some us we can go on months without the need sex and we are still in loving relationship. Perhaps that's a hard thing to understand for some of you.

That’s great if both partners are aligned. If not, you’re being selfish if you refuse to compromise.

*we’ve drifted very far from the premise of whether a partner can’t have sex. I would never leave over a physical ailment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been on this forum for years and not much has changed as far as the folks who put sex above everything else.

I am 70 and I am sure there are other 70 years old who have the libido of 20 years and good for them
For some us we can go on months without the need sex and we are still in loving relationship. Perhaps that's a hard thing to understand for some of you.

I am also 70 and a woman. When I am not in a relationship I can go long periods of time without sex with another person with no stress about it. But when I am in a relationship with someone I love and desire I want it all the time, like everyday. No post menopausal dryness going on here either! We're all different at all ages.

In fairness I think he is a man. Most men cannot sustain the libido they had in their early years into their 70s. And I am.not even talking about erection which Viagra can help for some. I am talking about libido. Men and women are very different and tend to diverge as far as libido as they age. I think this comes as a shock to some women.

Good for you that you are all wet and ready to go daily as a 70 years old women. Most 70 years old men don't have the same luck. A lot of men are in denial.about this and some spend a lot of money time and effort to fix this but it's biology at play.

Unless my urologist is full of sh**t that's what he explained to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a core group of men and women on this forum whose entire existence is around sex. I really hate then. Everything about them is sex sex sex. I don't know if they are this way because they are in a sexless marriage, or they are sex addict, or just mentally ill. Sex isn't everything in a relationship.

Sex is absolutely the most important part of a marriage. It is the core part of the human experience. I'm sorry that you don't feel that way.

Some of us think love is the core part of the human experience.

And some of us haven’t completely separated the two of our heads. If you read Helen Fischer’s work, you will find that LOVE hormones get released during sex as well as hugging, breastfeeding etc. I happen to express love through physical contact and I feel loved when DH have sex regularly. Of course if he simply couldn’t do it for some reason, I wouldn’t leave but if he WOULDN’T, I’d feel very lonely and unloved and I’d probably consider whether our love was as solid as I’d thought.

Shaming people because they find sex to be a core way people who love each other communicate is not the flex you think it is.

Nobody is shaming you but it’s not the core way you feel love. It’s one way and it’s a way you put too much emphasis on probably due to some lacking in intimacy in childhood or friendships. But if sex is your core way to get live it’s not normal

Of course it’s normal within a romantic relationship. I had a great childhood but thanks for your armchair psychotherapy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a core group of men and women on this forum whose entire existence is around sex. I really hate then. Everything about them is sex sex sex. I don't know if they are this way because they are in a sexless marriage, or they are sex addict, or just mentally ill. Sex isn't everything in a relationship.

Sex is absolutely the most important part of a marriage. It is the core part of the human experience. I'm sorry that you don't feel that way.

Some of us think love is the core part of the human experience.

And some of us haven’t completely separated the two of our heads. If you read Helen Fischer’s work, you will find that LOVE hormones get released during sex as well as hugging, breastfeeding etc. I happen to express love through physical contact and I feel loved when DH have sex regularly. Of course if he simply couldn’t do it for some reason, I wouldn’t leave but if he WOULDN’T, I’d feel very lonely and unloved and I’d probably consider whether our love was as solid as I’d thought.

Shaming people because they find sex to be a core way people who love each other communicate is not the flex you think it is.

Nobody is shaming you but it’s not the core way you feel love. It’s one way and it’s a way you put too much emphasis on probably due to some lacking in intimacy in childhood or friendships. But if sex is your core way to get live it’s not normal

Of course it’s normal within a romantic relationship. I had a great childhood but thanks for your armchair psychotherapy!

No it’s not normal if it is the CORE way. If it’s one way it’s normal, but if you can’t have an intimate living relationship it’s not normal.

Many people are not normal and that’s fine , but it’s just not.

I’m sorry you can’t find intimate living relationships without sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been on this forum for years and not much has changed as far as the folks who put sex above everything else.

I am 70 and I am sure there are other 70 years old who have the libido of 20 years and good for them
For some us we can go on months without the need sex and we are still in loving relationship. Perhaps that's a hard thing to understand for some of you.

I am also 70 and a woman. When I am not in a relationship I can go long periods of time without sex with another person with no stress about it. But when I am in a relationship with someone I love and desire I want it all the time, like everyday. No post menopausal dryness going on here either! We're all different at all ages.

Want and need is different.

If you’d dump your 70 yo H (which you clearly don’t have) cause he’s unable that’s just crappy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been on this forum for years and not much has changed as far as the folks who put sex above everything else.

I am 70 and I am sure there are other 70 years old who have the libido of 20 years and good for them
For some us we can go on months without the need sex and we are still in loving relationship. Perhaps that's a hard thing to understand for some of you.

I am also 70 and a woman. When I am not in a relationship I can go long periods of time without sex with another person with no stress about it. But when I am in a relationship with someone I love and desire I want it all the time, like everyday. No post menopausal dryness going on here either! We're all different at all ages.

Want and need is different.

If you’d dump your 70 yo H (which you clearly don’t have) cause he’s unable that’s just crappy.

Don't know where you got that from. I wouldn't do that. I dumped my 48 yr old husband because he wasn't into sex at all at that point but we're still friends. I'd rather be single at this point in my life. Seems like there's lots more sex involved.